A little humor…

Posted on by March 23, 2025

To start your week!

Man rules

At last a guy has taken the time to write this all down. Finally, the guys’ side of the story. ( I must admit, it’s pretty good.)

We always hear ‘the rules’ from the female side now here are the rules from the male side. These are our rules!

Please note. These are all numbered #1 on purpose!

  1. Men are not mind readers.
  2. Learn to work the toilet seat. You’re a big girl. If it’s up, put it down. We need it up, you need it down. You don’t hear us complaining about you leaving it down.
  3. Crying is blackmail.
  4. Ask for what you want. Let us be clear on this one: Subtle hints do not work! Strong hints do not work! Obvious hints do not work! Just say it!
  5. Yes and no are perfectly acceptable answers to almost every question.

1.. Come to us with a problem only if you want help solving it. That’s what we do. Sympathy is what your girlfriends are for.

  1. Anything we said 6 months ago is inadmissible in an argument. In fact, all comments become null and void after 7 days.
  2. If you think you’re fat, you probably are. Don’t ask us.
  3. If something we said can be interpreted two ways and one of the ways makes you sad or angry, we meant the other one.
  4. You can either ask us to do something or tell us how you want it done. Not both.
    If you already know best how to do it, just do it yourself.
  5. Whenever possible, please say whatever you have to say during commercials.
  6. Christopher columbus did not need directions and neither do we…
  7. All men see in only 16 colors, like windows default settings..
    Peach, for example, is a fruit, not a color. Pumpkin is also a fruit. We have no idea what mauve is.
  8. If we ask what is wrong and you say ‘nothing,’ we will act like nothing’s wrong. We know you are lying, but it is just not worth the hassle.
  9. If you ask a question you don’t want an answer to, expect an answer you don’t want to hear..
  10. When we have to go somewhere, absolutely anything you wear is fine…really.
  11. Don’t ask us what we’re thinking about unless you are prepared to discuss such topics as football or motor sports.
  12. You have enough clothes.
  13. You have too many shoes.
  14. I am in shape. Round is a shape!
  15. Thank you for reading this. Yes, I know, I have to sleep on the couch tonight.. But did you know men really don’t mind that? It’s like camping…

Comments

A little humor… — 13 Comments

  1. If you tell me a long story about a friend’s/relative’s/acquaintance’s situation/problem and I reply: “It sounds like she should grow up, she’s an adult and can think and act for herself.” Does not mean I don’t care, I do, I just can’t do anything about it unless she want’s to resolve the situation.

    • It’s because computer programmers think “normal people” are all retarded and try to automagically “fix” any mistakes they think we’re making…like numbering in lists (and underlining “automagically” in red, as if that’s a misspelling.

  3. On toilet seats: I grew up in an all-male household. For the longest time I thought the toilet seat thing with women was a trope. Then I moved in with my mom for college and learned otherwise. When I moved out on my own and moved my then-girlfriend in I really learned otherwise.

    I’ve never understood it. If I’m going to expose my bare anything, front or rear, I’m going to make damn sure that whatever is near that particular region of my body is not a threat, be that a toilet seat in the right position or a bush free of critters. Strangely enough that argument has never won me any favor from the fairer sex…

  5. The toilet has a lid for a reason. Everyone just close the damn lid when you are finished.

    • THIS!

      Although, when I was the only female working in a shop, I put the seat back the way I found it. (I also washed my hands before using the restroom, as well as after. Those were NOT going to be my oily/dusty/dirty fingerprints on the thing.)

    • But what if the dogs run out of water? That’s their emergency supply.

  7. Between having a parrot who could fly in and drown and dogs large enough to drink out of the bowl the rule in our house is “lid down”.

    Everybody is equally inconvenienced and nobody gets a wet surprise.

  8. Sleep on the couch, hell–if she doesn’t want to sleep next to me, she can sleep on the couch.
    Actually, neither one happens. We’re both adults, & don’t think the other one gets cooties when we’re angry. If it came to it, though, I ain’t moving.

  9. Frankly, I sit down at night.
    Less spray, less mess.
    No surprises.

  10. I don’t understand how that’s “humor”.

    Those are all perfectly legitimate, serious points.