If I couldn’t say anything good to not say anything…
So you get more humor…
If you grew up in Florida…
1. Socks are only for bowling.
2. You never use an umbrella because you know the rain will be over in five minutes.
3. A good parking place has nothing to do with distance from the store, but everything to do with shade.
4. Your winter coat is made of denim.
5. You can tell the difference between fire ant bites and mosquito bites.
6. You’re younger than thirty but some of your friends are over 65.
7. Anything under 70 is chilly.
8. You’ve driven through Yeehaw Junction.
9. You could swim before you could read.
10. You have to drive north to get to The South.
11. You know that no other grocery store can compare to Publix.
12. Every other house in your neighborhood had blue roofs in 2004-2005.
13. You’ve gotten out of school early on Halloween to trick or treat before it got dark
14. You know that anything under a Category 3 just isn’t worth waking up for.
15. You dread love bug season.
15. You are on a first name basis with the Hurricane list. They aren’t Hurricane Charley, Hurricane Frances…but Charley, Frances, Ivan and Jeanne.
16. You know what a snowbird is and when they’ll leave.
17. You think a six-foot alligator is actually pretty average.
18. You were twelve before you ever saw snow, or you still haven’t.
19. ‘Down South’ means Key West
20. You think New York drivers licenses should only be valid in New York.
21. Flip-flops are everyday wear.
22. Shoes are for business meetings and church,
23. but you HAVE worn flip flops to church before.
24. Sweet tea can be served at any meal
25. An alligator once walked through your neighborhood.
26. You smirk when a game show’s ‘Grand Prize’ is a trip or cruise to Florida.
27. You measure distance in minutes.
28. You have a drawer full of bathing suits, and one sweatshirt
29. You get annoyed at the tourists who feed seagulls.
30. A mountain is any hill 100 feet above sea level.
32. You think everyone from a bigger city has a northern accent.
33. You know the four seasons really are: hurricane season, love bug season, tourist season and summer.
34. It’s not soda, cola, or pop. it’s coke, regardless of brand or flavor, ‘What kinda coke you want?’
35. Anything under 95 is just warm.
36. You’ve hosted a hurricane party.
37. You go to a theme park for an afternoon, and know when to get on the best rides. (Space Mountain during the Electric Light Parade!)
38. You understand the futility of exterminating cockroaches.
39. You can pronounce Okeechobee, Kissimmee, Ichnatucknee and Withlacoochee
40. You understand why it’s better to have a friend with a boat, than owning a boat yourself.
41. Bumper stickers on the pickup in front of you include: various fish, NRA, NASCAR, Go Gators, and a confederate flag.
42. You were 5 before you realized they made houses without pools.
43. You were 25 when you first met someone who couldn’t swim.
44. You’ve worn shorts and used the A/C on Christmas.
Christmas at my grandmother’s apartment in New York required running the A/C at max. Between radiators, the oven, and all the body heat, the place got toasty! A/C barely kept up.
Hey Old NFO;
I have kinfolks in Florida and go down there a lot and I have lived down there for a while in the 90’s, and yes I can attest to a lot of this, LOL especially to the lovebug season….and snowbirds..LOL
Lived in Phoenix for five years. The ones about temperatures and snowbirds are spot on. RE rain fall: doesn’t rally happen except when it does. Open an umbrella during “monsoon” season and you may end up in New Mexico.
TOS- LOL, I don’t even want to imagine that…
Bob- Oh yeah!
NRW- True about the ‘rain’ out that way…
From Central Florida:
1. Don’t know either.
4. Long sleeve Tee shirt
22. And doctors’ appointments. Note plural.
25. And raccoons, ibis, and sand hill cranes. No I’m NOT rural.
38. Attempts only piss them off.
39. I live in Kissimmee. Not Kissy-me.
40. Even better if they have the tackle, too.
44. Some don’t?
Bob- LOL, good ones!
As a Rocky Mountain resident, Florida was a cultural shock. Naples was a base for the vehicle testing company employing me. In home country, truck tire treads shred along the highway are referred to as “alligators”. The employees there, amused, told me they dodged real alligators.
I stopped sneering at Floridians who couldn’t drive in snow after watching them, from the breakdown lane, driving in thunderstorms.
Sorry, cannot live someplace where the highest elevation is >500′ ASL.
Been snow-birding in Okeechobee for the last few years, Didn’t start till I was 70. Never wore flip flops to church but regularly go in shorts and sandals. We have mainly midwesterners and french canadians where we hang out. The 2 upstate New Yorkers at the rv park have gun and trump stickers on their pickups. When we go over to Port St. Lucie we get to enjoy the real new Yorkers with all that entails.