To start the week…

More bad puns…

Jokes about German sausage are the wurst.

· A soldier who survived mustard gas and pepper spray is now a seasoned veteran.

· I know a guy who is addicted to brake fluid.  He says he can stop any time.

· How does Moses make his tea?  Hebrews it.

· I stayed up all night to see where the sun went.  Then it dawned on me.

· This girl said she recognized me from the vegetarian club, but I’d never met herbivore.

· I’m reading a book about anti-gravity.  I can’t put it down.

· I did a theatrical performance about puns.  It was a play on words.

· They told me I had type A blood, but it was a type-O.

· PMS jokes aren’t funny, period.

· I didn’t like my beard at first.  Then it grew on me.

· A cross-eyed teacher lost her job because she couldn’t control her pupils.

· When you get a bladder infection, urine trouble.

· What does a clock do when it’s hungry?  It goes back four seconds.

· I wondered why the baseball was getting bigger.  Then it hit me!

· Broken pencils are pointless.

· What do you call a dinosaur with an extensive vocabulary?  A thesaurus.

· England has no kidney bank, but it does have a Liverpool.

· I used to be a banker, but then I lost interest.

· I dropped out of communism class because of lousy Marx.

· All the toilets in London police stations have been stolen.  Police say they have nothing to go on.

· I took the job at a bakery because I kneaded dough.

· Velcro – what a rip off!

· Cartoonist found dead in home.  Details are sketchy.