To start the week!

Q: Where can single men over the age of 60 find younger women who are
interested in them?
A: Try a bookstore,  under Fiction.

Q: What can a man do while his wife is  going through menopause?
A: Keep busy. If you’re  handy with tools, you can finish the basement.
When you’re done, you  will have a place to live.

Q: Someone has told me  that menopause is mentioned in the bible… Is
that true? Where can it be found?
A: Yes. Matthew 14:92: “And Mary rode Joseph’s ass all the way to Egypt …”

Q: How can you increase the heart rate of your over-60 year-old  husband?
A: Tell him you’re pregnant.

Q: How can you avoid that terrible curse of the elderly  wrinkles?
A: Take off your glasses.

Q: Seriously! What can I do for these crow’s feet and all those
wrinkles on my face?
A: Go braless. It will  usually pull them out..

Q: Why should 60-plus year  old people use valet parking?
A: Valets don’t forget  where they park your car.

Q: Is it common for 60-plus  year olds to have problems with short term
memory storage?
A: Storing memory is not a problem, Retrieving it is the  problem.

Q: As people age, do they sleep more  soundly?
A: Yes, but usually in the afternoon.

Q: Where should 60-plus year olds look for eye  glasses?
A: On their foreheads.

Q: What is the most common remark made by 60-plus year olds when they
enter antique stores?
A: “Gosh, I remember these!”

And a bonus one…

The graveside service just barely  finished, when there was massive clap of thunder, followed by a  tremendous bolt of lightning, accompanied by even more thunder  rumbling in the distance…

The little old man looked at the pastor  and calmly said, ‘Well, she’s there…