Corporate wonks strive to create their own language. The Navy, on the other hand, keeps things clear with a language any human could understand. Hold my cuppamud while I walk over to ADCOMSUBORDCOMPHIBSPAC.
That Navy Acronym brought to you by Rear Admiral Johann Gambolputty de von Ausfern-schplenden-schlitter-crasscrenbon-fried-digger-dingle-dangle-dongle-dungle-burstein-von-knacker-thrasher-apple-banger-horowitz-ticolensic-grander-knotty-spelltinkle-grandlich-grumblemeyer-spelterwasser-kurstlich-himbleeisen-bahnwagen-gutenabend-bitte-ein-nürnburger-bratwustle-gerspurten-mitzweimache-luber-hundsfut-gumberaber-shönendanker-kalbsfleisch-mittler-aucher von Hautkopft of Ulm.
Not to mention the “we are aligning our management team to better meet our priorities.” Translation: We’re reorganizing management because a moving target is harder to hit and we can blame all our problems on the previous team. (same folks, different job titles)
I wish to heck that I had had this lexicon when I was working in corporate. It would have warned me to get outa Dodge early in several cases. BTW most of this lexicon applies to non-military government beaureauspeak as well if you include a few agency specific jargon items.
Early in my work life I was #1 in every category for three quarters at a large corporation. When a decision was made to layoff people, I was gone and good old Gordy, who drank and whored with the big boys stayed. From that day forward I only worked on commission or as an independent contractor. This is not a criticism of the path others took; just what worked for me and my temperament.
All- Yep, we’ve ALL been ‘bitten’ by corporate speak… WSF, you were one of the smarter ones! And you learned early! The other thing we used to do was play buzzword bingo in meetings until we got caught when one of the women yelled out BINGO in the middle of the brief…LOL
And pretty soon the translator will be replaced by AI.
Corporate wonks strive to create their own language. The Navy, on the other hand, keeps things clear with a language any human could understand. Hold my cuppamud while I walk over to ADCOMSUBORDCOMPHIBSPAC.
That Navy Acronym brought to you by Rear Admiral Johann Gambolputty de von Ausfern-schplenden-schlitter-crasscrenbon-fried-digger-dingle-dangle-dongle-dungle-burstein-von-knacker-thrasher-apple-banger-horowitz-ticolensic-grander-knotty-spelltinkle-grandlich-grumblemeyer-spelterwasser-kurstlich-himbleeisen-bahnwagen-gutenabend-bitte-ein-nürnburger-bratwustle-gerspurten-mitzweimache-luber-hundsfut-gumberaber-shönendanker-kalbsfleisch-mittler-aucher von Hautkopft of Ulm.
Actually, there used to be a NAVDICAB… Naval Dictionary of Abbreviations…
Whew … spot on.
Not to mention the “we are aligning our management team to better meet our priorities.” Translation: We’re reorganizing management because a moving target is harder to hit and we can blame all our problems on the previous team. (same folks, different job titles)
The translator almost nailed it, except he wasn’t negative enough in his translations.
I bought a copy of this book when we were bought by a Fortune 500 company. It’s spot on.
The Dictionary of Corporate Bullshit: An A to Z Lexicon of Empty, Enraging, and Just Plain Stupid Office Talk Paperback – February 14, 2006
I wish to heck that I had had this lexicon when I was working in corporate. It would have warned me to get outa Dodge early in several cases. BTW most of this lexicon applies to non-military government beaureauspeak as well if you include a few agency specific jargon items.
Early in my work life I was #1 in every category for three quarters at a large corporation. When a decision was made to layoff people, I was gone and good old Gordy, who drank and whored with the big boys stayed. From that day forward I only worked on commission or as an independent contractor. This is not a criticism of the path others took; just what worked for me and my temperament.
All- Yep, we’ve ALL been ‘bitten’ by corporate speak… WSF, you were one of the smarter ones! And you learned early! The other thing we used to do was play buzzword bingo in meetings until we got caught when one of the women yelled out BINGO in the middle of the brief…LOL
😂
Yeah, it got ‘ugly’, the contractor was NOT happy… LOL