To start the week!

Two hillbillies are having lunch when a woman seated nearby begins to choke.

Pounding her chest and trying to cough out the food caught in her throat she looks around for some help.

The hillbilly asks her,”Kin ya swaller, lady?”..

The woman shakes her head no.

Hillbilly asks her “Kin ya breathe, lady?”..

Woman shakes her head no.

Hillbilly walks over, spins her around, lifts up her dress, yanks down her britches and licks her butt cheek.

The woman surprised at the action spits out food caught in her throat.

The hillbillys’ buddy says, “Ya know, I heerd of that there heiny-lick maneuver before but I ain’t never seed nobody do it afore”

++++++++++

The Louisiana State Police had received numerous reports of illegal cock fighting being held in the area around Abbeville and had sent their famous Detective Boudreaux from Thibodeaux to investigate.   Boudreaux promptly began his investigation and then reported to his Commander the next morning.

“Dey is tree main groups involve in dis rooster Fightin”, he began.

“Good work! Who are they?” the Commander asked.

Boudreaux replied confidently, “De Texas Aggies, de local Cajuns, and de Demcratic Natnal Char fromN’awlins”.

Puzzled, the Commander asked, “Now Boudreaux, how did you find all that out in one night?”

“Well,” he replied, “I went down and done seen dat rooster fight in person.   And I knowed immediately datdem Aggies was involved when a Duck was entered in the fight.”

The Commander nodded, “I’ll buy that. But what about the others?”

Boudreaux nodded knowingly, “Well, I knowed de Cajuns was involved when sumbody bet on de duck!”

“Ah, I see, I see … ” sighed the sergeant,   “And how did you figure the DNC was involved?”

“De duck won!”

Snort…