To start the week…

A trucker came into a truck stop cafe and placed his order.

He said, “I Want three flat tires, a pair of headlights and a pair of running boards.”

The brand new blonde waitress, not wanting to appear stupid, went to the kitchen and said to the cook, “This guy out there just ordered three flat tires, a pair of headlights and a pair of running boards – What does he think this place is an auto parts store?”

“No,” the cook said. “Three flat tires mean three pancakes, a pair of headlights is two eggs sunny side up, and running boards are 2 slices of crisp bacon.”

“Oh, OK!” said the blonde. She thought about it for a moment and then spooned up a bowl of beans and gave it to the customer.

The trucker asked, “What are the beans for Blondie?”

She replied, “I thought while you were waiting for the flat tires, headlights and running boards, you might as well gas up!”

FOR ONCE THE BLONDE GETS EVEN!

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After his exam the doctor asked the very elderly man, “You appear to be in very good health for your age. Do you have any other medical concerns you would like to ask me about?”

“In fact, I do, yes I do” said the old man. “After I have sex with my wife, I am usually cold and chilly, and then, after I have sex with her the second time, I am usually hot and sweaty. and this happens every time”

Later, after examining his elderly wife, the doctor said, “Everything appears to be fine. Do you have any medical concerns that you would like to discuss with me?”  She replied that she had no questions or concerns.

The doctor then said to her: “I have to ask, your husband told me he had an unusual concern. He claims that he is usually cold and chilly after having sex with you the first time, and then hot and sweaty after the second time. Would you have any idea why?”

“Oh that crazy old bugger,” she replied. “That’s because the first time is usually in January and the second time is in July.”