Politically correct 12 days of …er… uh…

On the 12th day of the Eurocentrically imposed midwinter festival, my Significant Other in a consenting adult monogamous relationship gave to me:

~ TWELVE males reclaiming their inner warrior through ritual drumming,

~ ELEVEN pipers piping (plus the 18-member pit orchestra made up of members in good standing of the Musicians Equity Union as called for in their union contract even though they will not be asked to play a note).

~ TEN melanin-deprived testosterone-poisoned scions of the patriarchal ruling class system leaping,

~ NINE persons engaged in rhythmic self-expression,

~ EIGHT economically disadvantaged female persons stealing milk-products from enslaved Bovine-Americans,~ SEVEN endangered swans swimming on federally protected wetlands,

~ SIX enslaved Fowl-Americans producing stolen non-human animal products,

~ FIVE golden symbols of culturally sanctioned enforced domestic incarceration,(NOTE: after members of the Animal Liberation Front threatened to throw red paint at my computer, the calling birds, French hens and partridge have been reintroduced to their native habitat. To avoid further Animal-American enslavement,the remaining gift package has been revised.)

~ FOUR hours of recorded whale songs,

~ THREE deconstructionist poets,

~ TWO Sierra Club calendars printed on recycled processed tree carcasses, and

~ ONE Spotted Owl activist chained to an old-growth pear tree.

~ Merry Christmas.~ Happy Chanukah/Hanukkah.~ Good Kwanzaa.~ Blessed Yule.~ Oh, heck! Happy Holidays!!!! (unless otherwise prohibited by law). Unless, of course, you are suffering from Seasonally Affected Disorder (SAD). If this be the case, please substitute this gratuitous call for celebration with a suggestion that you have a thoroughly adequate day.


Politically correct 12 days of …er… uh… — 12 Comments

  1. Hum,, did I enjoy the humor? Yes, because it laughs at one of my feeble fears – that they are going to ruin my life and especially my Christmas. But then that is just a really feeble fear, and the Christmas is such a large wonderful time and event, PC never had a chance, except for media bias. Anyone know that there is a Christmas tree in Washington State with a statement from NON-believers posted near by and a helpless Governess wringing her hands. No? Y’all are so lucky.

  2. “…thoroughly adequate day.”

    There are folks out there that want no more than that. They’ve lost the ability to see the brighter side and now strive to make the rest of us as mediocre and dim as they are—having no more than adequate days.

  3. CS/ADM/Fuzzy- beats the hell outta me… sigh…

    Earl- I’m in Japan and they’ve heard about it over here… JN railway has a very nice Christmas greeting in English in every car. In a country that is primarily Shinto!

    Crucis- Dead on!

  4. hehehe phlegmfatale exactly what i was thinking

    … but it is sad that things have got to this point

    … luckily though some places still have sense, i’m looking forward to the Carols Night at my daughters’ school (and yes, from the practice they’ve been doing in the car they’re singing some traditional carols).

    vw: chedne – a savory jam made from spiced fruit

  5. Anon- Merry Christmas 🙂

    Phlegmmy/Julie- er… NO comment 🙂 I ain’t goin there…

    Caroling can be fun, especially when everybody is half in the bag- Usually bribes to go away include more booze 🙂