In a kinda left handed way, this subject came up over Christmas with the kids…

MY biggest worry now is who in hell is going to PAY for everything PU and his minions are shoving down our throats… Even my grandson, who is 11 wonders why things are being done the way they are. The really sad part, was that I didn’t have a good answer for him…


Is there an imaginary cutoff period when offspring become accountable for their own actions? Is there some wonderful moment when Parents can become detached spectators in The lives of their children and shrug, ‘It’s Their life,’ and feel nothing?

When I was in my twenties, I stood in a hospital corridor waiting for doctors to put a few stitches in my daughter’s head and I asked, ‘When do you stop worrying?’ The nurse said, ‘When they get out of the accident stage..’
My Parents just smiled faintly and said nothing.

When I was in my thirties, I sat on a little Chair in a classroom and heard how one of my Children talked incessantly, disrupted the class, And was headed for a career
making License plates. As if to read my mind, a teacher said, ‘Don’t worry, they all go through this stage and then you can sit back, relax and enjoy them.’
My Parents just smiled faintly and said nothing.

When I was in my forties, I spent a lifetime waiting for the phone to ring, the cars to come home, the front door to open. A friend said, ‘They’re trying to find themselves.
‘Don’t worry! In a few years, they’ll be Adults. ‘They’ll be off on their own they’ll be out of your hair’
My Parents just smiled faintly and said nothing.

By the time I was 50, I was sick & tired of being vulnerable. I was still worrying over my children, but there was a new wrinkle..
Even though they were on their own I continued to anguish over their failures, be tormented by their frustrations and absorbed in their disappointments; and there was nothing I could do about it.
My Parents just smiled faintly and said nothing.

My friends said that when my kids got married I could stop worrying and lead my own life. I wanted to believe that, but I was haunted by my parent’s warm smiles and their occasional, ‘You look pale. Are you all right’ ? ‘Call me the minute you get home’. Are you depressed about something?’

My friends said that when I became a Grandparent that I would get to enjoy the happy little voices yelling Grandma! Papa! but now I find that I worry just as much about the little kids as the big ones. How can anyone cope with all this Worry?

Can it be that parents are sentenced to a Lifetime of worry? Is concern for one another handed down like a torch to blaze the trail of human frailties and the fears of the unknown? Is concern a curse or is it a virtue that elevates us to the highest form of earthly creation?

Recently, one of my own children became quite irritable saying to me, ‘Where were you? I’ve been calling for 3 days, and no one answered I was worried.’

I smiled a warm smile. The torch has been passed.

Author unknown to me… But I agree with EVERYTHING that was said…


Worry…. — 12 Comments

  1. I don’t think you ever stop worrying,being concerned about and loving your children.My Dad is 89 and my Mom is 87 and every day that I call,or stop to see how they’re doing,they are more concerned about myself and my sister than they are about themselves,as I am about my 46yr old. Even though I know they are very capable,you still worry,especially with whats going on in our nation and world.

  2. My dad spent a couple of days with friends (three years ago), and he didn’t tell me where he was going. I was uber-worried. Now he tells me when he goes out for long periods of time.

  3. What a great post. I am going to post it on my blog too. It is so true! My kids are grown and have jobs, and kids of their own, and homes and I still ‘worry’ over them. I guess the worry leaves when we leave! (If you get my meaning.)

  4. If you didn’t care, you wouldn’t worry. Aint love a bitch!


  5. Man, I hear ya there. Worry is just part of the game I guess. I try to steer my kids away from the mistakes that I made as a kid and keep them on the right track, but there is only so much you can do in that regard. Sometimes they just need to learn the lesson about getting back on the horse they just fell off of.

    The other day my 11 year old was making a comment about ‘when he can drive he will..’ and I commented that his driving was a long way off and he didn’t need to worry about it right now. He shot back, ‘But dad, me being 16 is just 5 years away!’

    Pretty much stopped me in my tracks. 5 years, man anymore that is just a blink of an eye.

    Anyone know who I need to get a hold of to get the age for a drivers license moved up to about 30?

  6. Wonderful post. Thank You.

    Had to laugh…My Kids now worry about me. That does not make me worry less about them. It’s just great to be a dad and a grand father.

    See Ya

  7. I kind of liked it when she was younger, I felt I had much more control then. I too kept waiting for that “adult” release point when I could cut the strings, be worry free.

    She turned 21 this past summer. She’s an adult 98% of the time nowadays, has a great job serving her country, pays all her own bills now and does her own laundry. She even manages to eat halfway healthy.

    She’s been home on leave for just over two weeks and although I have slept at night and not worried nearly as much as I used to, I still worried.

    It is exhausting sometimes but I do see the fruits of my labor making many more right choices than wrong. I dont think I’ll ever be worry free though. Such is life.

    Great post NFO. Happy and Healthy New Year to you and yours. =)

  8. Yeah I’m 71 now with four kids in their late 40’s early 50’s and it never ends ’cause now it is the 6 grandkids that are included on the “to worry “List

  9. I’m glad y’all agree and never stop worrying 🙂 Neither do I!!! Feel free to pass this to your kids, ‘just to get them started’ 🙂