Another one from the mil-email… This one is SOOOO true…
If you remember when health insurance was optional, you are an old fart.
If you are polite to strangers, you are an old fart.
If you’ve ever changed a typewriter ribbon, you are an old fart.
If there was only one fat kid in your class, you are an old fart.
If you think “Occupy” is a verb and not a noun, you are an old fart.
If you just want to be left alone, you are an old fart.
If you remember when only sailors had tattoos, you are an old fart.
If you remember when civil rights meant equal rights, not reverse discrimination, you are an old fart.
If you’ve never uploaded naked photographs of yourself, you are an old fart.
If you know how to spell, you are an old fart.
If you ever waited to hear your favorite song on the radio, you are an old fart.
If you remember when being radical meant hating the government, rather than relying on it, you are an old fart.
If you know how to get there better than that GPS contraption, you are an old fart.
If you’ve ever felt shame, you are an old fart.
If you still feel a twinge of dread seeing a phone number with a lot of “9″s and “0″s, you are an old fart.
If you think a nice warm day is just a nice warm day and not proof of impending doom, you are an old fart.
If you ever paid for your own condoms, you are an old fart.
If you know how to fix mechanical devices, you are an old fart.
If the phrase “turn of the century” makes you think of the year 1900, you are an old fart.
If you had a blue mohawk in 11th grade, you are an old fart.
If you remember when Top Gun actually sat in the plane, you are an old fart.
If you’ve ever bought something with cash, you are an old fart.
If you don’t go all the way on the first date, you are an old fart.
If you remember when being a Democrat meant being anti-communist, you are an old fart.
If you remember when “books” were made of paper, you are an old fart.
If you’ve ever played pinball, you are an old fart.
If you remember when sex scandals would ruin a starlet’s career, you are an old fart.
If you’ve ever gotten on an airplane without first being searched, you are an old fart.
If you even know the meaning of the word “bipartisan,” you are an old fart.
If you you don’t have a Facebook page, you are an old fart.
If you do have a MySpace page, you are an old fart.
If you’ve ever used the word “gay” to mean carefree or joyous, you are an old fart.
If you still haven’t scraped that “I believe you Anita!” sticker off your bumper, you are an old fart.
If you kept a few leftover French francs and German marks the last time you visited Europe, you are an old fart.
If you think self-esteem is earned rather than a birthright, you are an old fart.
If you remember when the media at least pretended to be impartial, you are an old fart.
If you ever ate at Sambo’s, you are an old fart.
If you still have some bell-bottom pants way back in your closet from the first time they were cool, you are an old fart.
If you remember when every quarter had an eagle on the back, you are an old fart.
If you hold the door open for ladies, you are an old fart.
If you remember when tech support answered without an accent, you are an old fart.
If you can’t remember why you used to laugh at the phrase “You bet your sweet bippy,” you are an old fart.
If you remember when being on welfare was embarrassing, you are an old fart.
If you know what VHS stands for, you are an old fart.
If you admire successful people, you are an old fart.
If you know what “the blue dress” refers to, you are an old fart.
If a teacher ever smacked you on the knuckles with a ruler, you are an old fart.
If you ever paid for pornography, you are an old fart.
If you think school should be taught in English, you are an old fart.
If you still think music comes on these black vinyl disks called “records,” you are an old fart.
If you played with toy guns when you were a kid, you are an old fart.
If you’ve ever visited a public library, you are an old fart. (Breda excepted)… Just sayin…
If you remember when Apple was a small struggling company, you are an old fart.
If your debate coach taught you to see both sides of an argument, you are an old fart.
If you still have some of those 8-track tapes in the garage, you are an old fart.
If you love your country, you are an old fart.
If you remember when budgets were measured in billions, not trillions, you are an old fart.
If you want to go back to measuring budgets in billions like we used to, you are really an old fart.
If you remember when campus revolutionaries fought against The Man, and weren’t yet The Man themselves, you are an old fart.
If you’d welcome a death panel at this stage, frankly, you are an old fart.
And on THAT note, enjoy the rest of your week…
Never had a myspace or Facebook page, so…
What is really eye-opening is to see how quickly the changes have come. From the mid-50s when my 8th grade teacher would break a ruler over our knuckles if we got out of line to prison time for chile abuse. Holy crap, have we slid left fast. Makes me really fear for my grandkids and drives another hole in my credit card as another 1,000 rounds of ammunition arrives. As I have said repeatedly before – “dangerous times sir, dangerous times!”
As for the week, couple hundred rounds down range since Sunday, many more to come, gonna be a good week! 🙂
OK “child” abuse, not “chile” abuse. But, thinking it over a bit, I could actually justify prison time for “chile” abuse, smackin’ a lippy 8th grader – not so much!
Didn’t realize I was THAT old. But yep …
That one hit a little too close to the mark…
I’m an old fart.
And there’s NO WAY Andy doesn’t have a Facebook page! The guy’s a professional computer geek!
I’m calling bullshit on that one!
And another
You understand a letter you received that starts with, Greetings” You have been selected………” means your plans are changing.
I am definitely an old fart then. Le sigh.
Oh, when gay first was coming to mean homosexual, a guy thought he was being cute & asked my Dad if he was gay. Daddy, not knowing the new meaning thought for a moment and said, “Yeah, I guess so. Aren’t you?”.
At least the guy shut up then. 😀
You know you’re an old fart when your lovely bride stands at the door waiting until you open it.
Or when your favorite airplane turns 50 :-). Counting models from A to Z (literally, AH-1Z) mine is 57 years.
I’m 24, and most of those apply to me. Old fart at heart and proud of it.
Andy- That’s hard to believe 🙂
Eia- True, and I ‘read’ child…LOL
Rev- Yep, hell I even remember when doctors made HOUSE CALLS!
Msgt- He’s smart, gotta remember that… He ‘knows’ about computers and viruses and TMI…
WSF- Yep, and boy DID they change…
Snigs- LOL, that had to be funny! 🙂
Don- True on BOTH counts.
Raptor- But I truly hate what we’re leaving for you…
I’m an old fart – but I still eat at Sambos – they just call it a different name now.
Damn it. That IS my lawn.
I ate at the original Sambo’s prior to it becoming a chain.
LL- You’re right 🙂
Car teach- heard that!!!
Zdog- welcome!
I am NOT an Old Fart! Just because I was Deckhand on the Ark under Captain Noah…; )
Oh, and you know you’re an Old Fart when there was only 4 types of Coffee to purchase: Maxwell House, Folgers, Hills Bros and Chase and Sanborn. What’s this Half-Caf Whipped Foam Latte Crap doing in my Mug?
I’ve corrected one of your items.
“If you remember when being a Democrat meant being anti-communist instead of being one, you are an old fart.”
definitely an old fart.
But I still get carded at the “card under 40” places so I’ll take it.
Les- True! 🙂
Crucis- sadly, you’re correct in your correction…
Brigid- You’re LUCKY 🙂
christ on a crutch i havnt even hit 30 yet, but according to that list im an old fart
Redneck- There’s OLD and there’s old farts…LOL
Welp, I have yet to finish my second decade on this dirtball, and I qualify as an old fart on rather a large percentage of those terms. Considering the state of the world today, I consider that a good thing.
I am a old fart
Add me to the young in years (ish) but still an Old Fart. Learned to type on a Smith-Corona in the 5th and 6th grades. Learned to read on McGuffey’s Readers along with more modern books. Remember when the principals gave out “swats” to the unruly. I think my theme song is “Record Time (33, 45, 78)” by Kathy Mattea.
LittleRed1