Husar’s Laws, Part 11…

Posted on by February 17, 2015
  • Walking can add minutes to your life. This enables you at 85 years old to spend an additional 5 months in a nursing home at $4500 per month.
  • My grandpa starting walking five miles a day when he was 60. Now he’s 97 and we have no idea where the hell he is.
  • I like long walks, especially when they are taken by people who annoy me.
  • I have to walk early in the morning before my brain figures out what I’m doing.
  • If you are going to try cross-country skiing, start with a small country.
  • We all get heavier when we get older because we have more information in our heads. That’s my story and I’m sticking to it.
  • People don’t plan to fail, they fail to plan. It is easier to prepare and prevent than to repair and repent.
  • Nothing is foolproof to a sufficiently talented fool.
  • The things that come to those who wait may be the things left by those who got there first.
  • I finally got my head together and now my body is falling apart
  • A fine is a tax for doing wrong. A tax is a fine for doing well.
  • Wisdom is divided into two part: (a) having a great deal to say, and (b) not saying it.
  • There are two sides to every divorce: yours and shithead’s
  • The closest I ever got to a 4.0 in college was my blood alcohol level.
  • I live in my own little world but it’s OK, everyone knows me here.
  • Money can’t buy happiness but it sure make misery easier to live with.
  • I got a sweater for Christmas. I really wanted a screamer or a moaner.
  • If flying is so safe, why do they call the airport the “terminal”?
  • I don’t approve of political jokes. I’ve seen too many of them get elected and re-elected.
  • If life deals you lemons, make lemonade. If life deals you tomatoes, make Bloody Mary’s.

Comments

Husar’s Laws, Part 11… — 15 Comments

  1. That 1st one made me actually laugh out loud, its the truth! Thanks for the Monday chuckles, a good way to start the week.

  2. Ol’ Husar seems to have life figured out. Since he’s got it made, I wonder if he can spot me a couple of grand, you know, just to take the edge off things….

  4. If something is “foolproof”, you can be certain that it is not damn fool proof.

    I know your problem here, Dammit. Last Christmas I got a shirt, a pair of socks, and a piece of ass. All too big.

  5. Snorted on the first one. The cross country skiing one also.. very funny and hit home. I often wondered about the airport terminal thingy, too. Great humor!~

  6. Money can’t buy happiness…but it can buy ammo. And beer. And books. And hot wings.

  8. j.r.- Yeah, that’s a good one…

    Fredd- Me too!!!

    Dammit- NOT touching that one…LOL

    Scottie- ROTFLMAO!

    Fargo- Facts masquerading as humor… 🙂

    SPE- True!

    Ed- LOL, yeah I liked that one.

  9. So true, especially the I don’t approve of political jokes. I’ve seen too many of them get elected and re-elected.

    • I could probably answer that, Dammit. But your question is a bit like, “Have you quit beating your wife yet?” So I will have to plead the fifth here. And it should be either Tanqueray, or Absolut, or Knob Creek, or Laphroaig.

  12. Dumb question, but who is Husar? I know Murphy and Darwin but this guy is new to me!