Net Humor…

Ladies day… πŸ™‚

  1. I haven’t found Mr Right, but I have found Mr Cheap, Mr Sleazy and Mr Wrong
  2. Next mood swing: 6 minutes
  3. I’m in touch with my inner bitch
  4. Don’t stare at me, buy me a drink.
  5. It ain’t the size, it’s… no, it’s the size.
  6. Are those your eyeballs? I found them in my cleavage.
  7. Not Drunk. Just Blonde.
  8. Therapy has taught me nothing is my fault
  9. So many men… so few who can afford me.
  10. You can either agree with me, or be wrong
  11. I’m busy. You’re ugly. Have a nice day.
  12. I have PMS, an SUV, and no chocolate. Were you considering cutting me off?
  13. I’m really easy to get along with, once you learn to worship me.
  14. Veni, Vedi, VISA: I Came, I Saw, I did a little shopping.
  15. And which dwarf are you?
  16. Don’t worry. It’ll only seem kinky the first time.
  17. I can see your point, but I still think you’re full of crap.
  18. I’m sorry honey, I just don’t have the energy to fake it tonight.
  19. 51% Angel, 49% Bitch. Don’t push it!
  20. God made us sisters: prozac made us friends
  21. You can stare at my as* all you like but you aren’t getting a piece!
  22. I love you. Leave me alone. Where have you been all day?
  23. I want my man to have a VCR: Very Cute Rear
  24. I’m not infantile … You stinkybutt poophead.
  25. You Say B*tch Like It’s A Bad Thing
  26. Bad driver on board
  27. Chaos, panic, disaster, I think my work here is done
  28. I can SO drive
  29. I have PMS, 5 children, a disloyal husband, and a gun! Any questions??
  30. Oh, I’m Easy… I’m just not Cheap!
  31. You KNOW you want me.
  32. 0% Angel, 100% Bitch, 100% Your Fault
  33. Yet another bitterly single thirtysomething proud to be a bitch
  34. Starlight Starbright, where the hell is Mr Right ?
  35. I have a pc, a vibrator, & pizza delivery. Why did I even leave the house?

And one more set…

The Rules

  1. The Female always makes the rules.
  2. The rules are subject to change at any time without prior notification
  3. No male can possibly know all the rules.
  4. If the Female suspect the male knows all the rules, she must immediately change some or all of the rules.
  5. The Female is NEVER wrong.
  6. If the Female is wrong, it is because of a flagrant misunderstanding which was a direct result of something the male did or said wrong.
  7. If rule six applies, the male must apologize immediately for causing the misunderstanding.
  8. The Female can change her mind at any given point in time.
  9. The male must never change his mind without express written consent from the Female.
  10. The Female has every right to be angry or upset at any time.
  11. The male must remain calm at all times; unless the Female wants him to be angry or upset.
  12. The Female must, under no circumstances, let the mail know whether or not whe wants him to be angry or upset.
  13. Any attempt to document these rules could result in bodily harm.
  14. If the Female has PMS, all rules are null and void.

Exit stage left… πŸ™‚


Net Humor… — 15 Comments

  1. Men only have to faults, everything we say, and everything we do. Since we will be dirty b*tched anyway, we will do as we please.

  2. Yeah, it’s cute to write all that down and giggle. But, any b*tch cow that followed this load of crapola would soon find herself and all of her sh*t tossed out on her big fat ass!

  3. Another one:

    I got a sweater for Christmas. I wanted a moaner.

  4. The sad part is the women who thought The Rules really were the way to success. And the rest of us who get to sift through the rubble.

  5. Why do men die at an earlier age than women?
    Because we want to!

  6. The real problem is, we know it’s jokes. They think it’s rules.

  7. Hey Old NFO;

    Yes we laugh, but women actually believe this stuff and this causes problems for the relationship.

  8. “The rules are subject to change at any time without prior notification”

    Rules that are “subject to change at any time without prior notification” are not rules, they are whims.

    Too many of our would be “betters” would like to forget that.