Ye olde nightmare for you…

And since ‘some’ places are getting snow…

It Snowed Last Night

8:00 am: I made a snowman.

8:10 – A feminist passed by and asked me why I didn’t make a snow woman.

8:15 – So, I made a snow woman.

8:17 – My feminist neighbor complained about the snow woman’s voluptuous chest saying it objectified snow women everywhere.

8:20 – The gay couple living nearby threw a hissy fit and moaned it could have been two snow men instead.

8:22 – The transgender man..women…person asked why I didn’t just make one snow person with detachable parts.

8:25 – The vegans at the end of the lane complained about the carrot nose, as veggies are food and not to decorate snow figures with.

8:28 – I was being called a racist because the snow couple is white.

8:31 – The Muslim gent across the road demanded the snow woman wear a burqa.

8:40 – The Police arrived saying someone had been offended

8:42 – The feminist neighbor complained again that the broomstick of the snow woman needed to be removed because it depicted women in a domestic role.

8:43 – The council equality officer arrived and threatened me with eviction.

8:45 – TV news crew from ABC showed up. I was asked if I know the difference between snowmen and snow-women? I replied “Snowballs” and am now called a sexist.

9:00 – I was on the News as a suspected terrorist, racist, homophobe sensibility offender, bent on stirring up trouble during difficult weather.

9:10 – I was asked if I have any accomplices. My children were taken by social services.

9:29 – Far left protesters offended by everything marched down the street demanding that I be beheaded.

Moral: There is no moral to this story. It is what we have become.


TBT… — 18 Comments

  1. “Dangit!!! Snowballs caused me to spew coffee across the table!

  2. I think I’d prefer to be inoculated daily with that air gun than to be subjected with politically correct neighbors.

  3. I lack the talent to make a snow-centaur (or other mythic creature), alas.

  4. RC- Sorry… 🙂

    Merlin- You’re welcome

    Jim- Ouch!!!

    Orvan- Sigh…

    Rev- You’re welcome!

  5. I agree, let’s all go back to the days when we could use the N word.

  6. Seeing that picture made my hands go cold. Last name at the end of the alphabet meant being chosen to wipe down arms with alcohol soaked wads for the 200 or so soldiers ahead of you in the alphabet. An hour later felt like I had frostbite.

  7. I remember that damn thing. Standing in line at NTC San Diego with both hands on hips and a pecker-checker on both sides giving me my shots. They made sure I wasn’t alergic to feathers or eggs… I guess to see if I was too chicken to get a shot.

  8. Before guns they used a regular hypo.
    Big guy in front of me went out like a light when he saw it.

  9. TFred- Point

    WSF- Oh, THAT had to suck!

    CP- Yep!

    Randy- Feel free!

    Skip- LOL, yep that DID happen quite a bit!

  10. Oh Lord! Do I remember those through skin injector guns, 3 on one arm, 2 on the other and 2 in the buttocks – all same day, same time, move on through the processing line swabbies. Still have my USN vaccination booklet, kinda frayed from carrying it for many years post USN (53 or is it 57? countries recorded in my passports). So good to be retired and not living out of a suitcase in god knows where third world.

  11. We made a giant snow cock by the smoke pit this one time in 29 Palms. Snowed like a mofo St Patty’s day weekend.

    It didn’t stay up for long, the killjoys.

  12. Ya hadda be real still with that gun or it would rip a slot in your skin. Kinda like a small hydraulic leak…

  13. Every time it was shot time, I would manage to be somewhere else till they were all done. Then I’d drift in and say, Jeez, did I miss it, am I too late? Then they would hit me with a needle instead of that skin ripper! That thing would pull off a hunk of skin if the “CORPSE MAN”(Obama pronounciation) didn’t wait for it to complete the cycle!

  14. I can just see that ‘snowballs’ comment being punctuated by a spontaneous snowball fight between a dozen kids and a local TV news crew.