This one came over the Mil email net… Equal opportunity offender humor. Guaranteed to piss ‘somebody’ off… But at least it will get them off worrying about Wuhan Flu!

1. How many Californians does it take to screw in a light bulb?

A1.  None.  They screw in a hot tub.

A2.  None.  Somebody organizes a workshop on how to deal with darkness in your life.

A3.  21, one to change and 20 to share the experience

 

1. How many psychiatrists does it take to change a lightbulb?
2. Only one, but the lighbulb has to want to change.

 

1. How many surrealist painters does it take to change a lightbulb?
2. A fish

 

1. How many male chauvenist pigs does it take to change a lightbulb?
2. None. let her cook in the dark.

 

1. How many men does it take to change a lightbulb?
2. Four.One to actually change it, and 3 friends to brag to about how he screwed it.

 

Q…How many Jews does it take to change a lightbulb?

A…How many Jews does it take to change a lightbulb?

 

1. How many red necks does it take to screw in a light bulb?
2. They can’t because they are too busy complaining about how all the blacks and mexicans are getting the good jobs cause of that affirmative action shit.

 

1. How many paranoid people do you need to change a light-bulb ??
2. AND WHO’S ASKING ???!!!!

 

1. How many pot growers does it take to change a lightbulb?
2. None – They use flourescent tubes!

 

1. How many women with PMS does it take to change a lightbulb?
2. Six
3. Why
4. IT JUST DOES O.K !!!!!!

 

Q: How many mathematicians does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

A: One, who gives it to six Californians, thereby reducing it to an earlier riddle.

 

Q: How many topologists does it take to change a light bulb?

A: It really doesn’t matter, since they’d rather knot.

 

1. How many psychoanalysts does it take to screw in a light bulb?
2. How many do you think it takes?

 

1. How many Nebraska Cornhuskers does it take to screw in a light bulb?
2. Only one, but he gets 3 hours credit for it

 

1. How many doctors does it take to screw in a light bulb?
2. It depends on what kind of insurance you have

 

Q: How many straight San Francisco waiters does to take to change a lightbulb?

A: Both of them.

 

1. How many Christians does it take to change a Light bulb?
2. none, they just stay in their darkness and pray to their non-existant god to do it for them

 

1. How many gays does it take to change a light bulb?
2. Seven.  One to change the bulb and 6 to shriek, “Faaaabulous.”

 

1. How many Japanese does it take to change a light bulb?
2. None.  They have machines to do it automatically.

 

1. How many law professors does it take to change a light bulb?
2. Hell, you need 250 just to lobby for the research grant.

 

1. How many lawyers does it take to change a light bulb?

A1: It only takes one lawyer to change your light bulb to his light bulb.

A2: You won’t find a lawyer who can change a light bulb. Now, if you’re  looking for a lawyer to screw a light bulb…

A3: How many can you afford?

A4: Whereas the party of the first part, also known as “Lawyer”, and the party of the second part, also known as “Light Bulb”,do hereby and forthwith agree to a transaction wherein the party of the second part (Light Bulb) shall be removed from the current position  ect… ect…ect…..

 

1. How many Sicilians does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
2. Two.  One to screw it in, and one to kill the witnesses.

 

1. How many OJ jurors does it take to change a light bulb?
2. None of them believe it is broken.

 

1. How many particle physicists does it take to change a lightbulb?
2. One. Two to change the bulb and three to renormalise the wavefunction (if you don’t understand it, study quantum mechanics).

 

1. How many perverts does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
2. One… but it takes the entire staff of the emergency room to remove it.