Nine words…

Women use and the ‘real’ meaning…
(1) Fine : This is the word women use to end an argument when they are right and you need to shut up. This means your facts may be right but you are still wrong.
(2) Five Minutes : If she is getting dressed, this means a half an hour. Five minutes is only five minutes if you have just been given five more minutes to watch the game before helping around the house.
(3) Nothing : This is the calm before the storm. This means something, and you should be on your toes. Arguments that begin with nothing usually end in fine.
(4) Go Ahead : This is a dare, not permission. Don’t Do It!
(5) Loud Sigh : This is actually a word, but is a non-verbal statement often misunderstood by men. A loud sigh means she thinks you are an idiot and wonders why she is wasting her time standing here and arguing with you about nothing. (Refer back to # 3 for the meaning of nothing.)
(6) That’s Okay : This is one of the most dangerous statements a women can make to a man. That’s okay means she wants to think long and hard before deciding how and when you will pay for your mistake.
(7) Thanks : A woman is thanking you, do not question, or faint. Just say you’re welcome. (I want to add in a clause here – This is true, unless she says ‘Thanks a lot’ – that is PURE sarcasm and she is not thanking you at all. DO NOT say ‘you’re welcome’.. That will bring on a ‘whatever’).
(8) Whatever : Is a woman’s way of saying…Go to Hell…
(9) Don’t worry about it, I got it : Another dangerous statement, meaning this is something that a woman has told a man to do several times, but is now doing it herself. This will later result in a man asking ‘What’s wrong?’ (For the woman’s response refer to # 3).


Nine words… — 20 Comments

  1. [Dead silence]. Not a word, but it’s the free space on her card. Can mean any one or can be a conjunction.

  2. Wimmens are the debo. :^)

    Well, not really, but they are certainly challenging to evaluate and deal with. Some will ‘test’ your honesty, asking a question she already knows the answer to see if you will answer honestly.

    I’ve been married 25 years and still haven’t determined the limit of ‘brownie points’.

    My Dad was my example as far as dealing with Mom. Always gassed up her car, made her school lunch (she was a teacher) and warmed up the car on cold days so she could just jump in, start and go. They had a pretty good marriage of 35 years before he passed away unexpectedly.

  3. You could add “Bless your heart!”, a southern woman’s way of politely saying, “Go f**k yourself!”

  4. If/when she asks, “Do you really need another ……(gun, tool, etc…?”
    I tell her selling some of her clothing or shoes will make lots of room!
    Then we both laugh.

  5. File all under the heading “shit test”. The way to avoid the problems is to deal with them as such from the very beginning. When she figures out that they don’t work, she is less likely to do them at all.

  6. See, this is why I spend a lot of time muttering to myself while piddling around in the garage. I like to think of it as pain avoidance therapy.

  7. 4A.) Go Ahead (Alternate meaning): “You’re in front of me in the doorway. Unass this side of the door so I can get through, too. ….*mental sigh* Fine, okay, you’re stuck on gentleman mode and insisting I go through first. Kindly move your self over far enough I don’t haven’t to squeeze between you and the doorframe in order to get through the damn door you’re blocking.”

    4B.) Go Ahead (Alternate Meaning): I arrived last at a 4-way stop. There are 3 guys in pickup trucks who will not move until I go. I am trusting you all in direct violation of traffic laws… smile and wave. Smile and wave. And go, or we’ll be here all day.

  8. Hey Old NFO;

    Most of them are fraught with peril. And they call women the “Gentler sex” Hah…Right…yank on the other one…it has bells on it. We older guys get pretty good as dodging the assorted minefields, LOL.

  9. I was reminded of the error of my ways just the other day. Apparently, when the wife is cutting the grass you’re not supposed to ask when dinner will be ready. There are so many things my high school counselor never told me.

  10. Called the Smarter Half to tell her a late work order had to be done before I could come home.
    “Fine.” Yes, in THAT tone.
    Finished the work order and, en route home, I picked up a large bag of M&Ms.
    Got home, opened the door a crack, threw in the bag, shut the door and checked the mail, talked to a neighbor, THEN when inside.
    “How are you, dear?”
    “Fine!” Ah, that’s the tone I wanted to hear.

  11. Hi All, I must have been extra lucky in bagging my wife! She put up with 20 years of being a Navy wife and being shipped all over hell without much complaint! We learned each others quirks and idiosyncratic things early on and just learned to side step them most of the time. Will have been married 60 years this Dec. 28th!

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