Humor???

A Saudi Prince wants to buy a bull, so he goes to see a famous Russian bovine breeder.

The Russian tells him “I have many good animal. Here is Swedish bull, is born black colour, but colour turns white when grows”.

“Over there is American bull. Colour when born is red, but become dark brown when full grown”.

“And here, Turkish bull. They is born dark brown, but grow up to be light brown colour”.

The prince says “I rather like the Turkish bulls. Fine specimens indeed”. “Excellent choice, your majesty. But Turkish bull is special. They is bred for royalty, like you. But if you have royal blood, you must be bonding with bull calf when young, before they change colour. Or they will reject you” the Russian explains. “Well” the prince says “I’m looking for a strong, adult bull. I’m not particularly interested in buying a calf. I rather like this big, beige bull over here”.

The prince attempts to pet the large Turkish bull. It sniffs his hand, shakes its head in disgust, turns around and kicks the prince with its hind legs.

The prince goes flying across the room and lands in a pile of hay.

“Where did you get such a horrible beast?! Why did it kick me!?” He sputters. “I told you. He from Turkey”. the Russian explains “Is tan bull, can’t stand a noble”.

+++++++++

A man is driving along a highway and sees a rabbit jump out across the middle of the road.

He swerves to avoid hitting it, but unfortunately the little rabbit jumps right in front of the car. The driver, a sensitive man as well as an animal lover, pulls over and gets out to see what has become of the rabbit.

Much to his dismay, the rabbit is dead. The driver feels so awful that he begins to cry.

A beautiful blonde woman driving down the highway sees the man crying on the side of a road and pulls over. She steps out of the car and asks him what’s wrong. “I feel terrible” he explains. “I accidentally hit this rabbit and killed it”. The blonde says “Don’t worry”.

She runs to her car and pulls out a spray can. She walks over to the limp, dead rabbit, bends down, and sprays the contents onto the rabbit. The rabbit jumps up, waves its paw at the two of them and hops off down the road.

Ten feet away the rabbit stops, turns around and waves again, he hops down the road another 10 feet and waves, hops another ten feet, turns and waves, and repeats this again and again and again, until he hops out of sight.

The man is astonished. He runs over to the woman and demands “What is in that can? What did you spray on that rabbit?” The woman turns the can around so the man can read the label. It says: “Hair Spray – Restores life to dead hair, and adds permanent wave”.

And one to think about…

Comments

Humor??? — 13 Comments

  1. I’ll have to see if Sarah Hoyt’s carpapult has been unpacked. The first ones are well worthy of ballistic carp. [grin]

  2. OK, ya got me! I CONFESS!! I like puns, jabs!
    VOY, eh? And yes, my mind is on the trackless waistes. I come in peaces. I’m leaving now, to my secret underground bunker, MWAH hahahahahaha…

  3. Roughly the equivalent to Dad Jokes (borepatch.blogspot.com) but longer. 🙂

    I am neither employed by nor a Borepatch family member, and I do not receive compensation from Borepatch for advertisement. There — three times should do it!

  4. My Uncle Dewey had a small farm in south Georgia. When the time came to breed his new milk cow, he contracted with Robert, his down-the-lane neighbor, to bring over his bull; they call it “freshening” the cow, for some reason.
    The mating was not a success. When the bull approached from the rear, the cow kicked him. When he approached from the side, she turned and kicked him. If he moved in from the front, she bit him, then turned and kicked him.
    Uncle Dewey had never seen anything like it, but Robert had a sad smile on his face. He asked Uncle Dewey, “Did you get that cow in Gainesville?”
    Uncle Dewey admitted this was the case, then asked Robert why it mattered.
    Robert spit tobacco juice into the dirt, then muttered “My wife is from Gainesville.”

    • “Boo hiss!”
      That’s what SHE said!

      I don’t often get to use that expression.

      Now seemed like a good time.(That’s what SHE said!)

  5. Dear God. One of the things I have to do is be an executor of an estate. Part of that means working out, and selling, bull embryos and semen.

    Sorry, don’t mean to be rude, but there it is.