An old friend sent me this asking, “Do you remember being taught these things?”
I told him I did, and he said, “I tried to teach my grandson and his mother raised holy hell with me about it. She wants him to be ’empathetic’, dammit.” And it went downhill from there.
I wonder what the boys are being taught today by their parents/schools/others. From what I see, few and far between young men are being ‘taught’ what it is to be a man.
2. Don’t enter a pool by the stairs.
3. The man at the BBQ Grill is the closest thing to a king.
4. In a negotiation, never make the first offer.
5. Request the late check-out.
6. When entrusted with a secret, keep it.
7. Hold your heroes to a higher standard.
8. Return a borrowed car with a full tank of gas.
9. Play with passion or don’t play at all…
10. When shaking hands, grip firmly and look them in the eye.
11. Don’t let a wishbone grow where a backbone should be.
12. If you need music on the beach, you’re missing the point.
13. Carry two handkerchiefs. The one in your back pocket is for you. The one in your breast pocket is for her.
14. You marry the girl, you marry her family.
15. Be like a duck. Remain calm on the surface and paddle like crazy underneath.
16. Experience the serenity of traveling alone.
17. Never be afraid to ask out the best looking girl in the room.
18. Never turn down a breath mint.
19. A sport coat is worth 1000 words.
20. Try writing your own eulogy. Never stop revising.
21. Thank a veteran. Then make it up to him.
22. Eat lunch with the new kid.
23. After writing an angry email, read it carefully. Then delete it.
24. Ask your mom to play. She won’t let you win.
25. Manners maketh the man.
26. Give credit. Take the blame.
27. Stand up to Bullies. Protect those bullied.
28. Write down your dreams.
29. Take time to snuggle your pets, they love you so much and are always happy to see you.
30. Be confident and humble at the same time.
31. If ever in doubt, remember whose son you are and REFUSE to just be ordinary!
32. In all things lead by example not explanation.
I’m sure there is a daughters version of this, but I’ve never seen it. But I have the same question about the young girls today. As a matter of fact, most kids these days seem to have no respect for any adults or anything… Sigh…
Boy’s aren’t meant to be “empathetic” (in context, really meaning girly). They’re meant to be boys. You know. Energetic little monsters. You eventually train them to behave properly in different situations. Unlike girls, boys take more effort as they mature, and the lessons become more complicated.
My son is away in the Army now, and thanks me vociferously about once a month for taking the time to be a parent, a father, and a mentor. So many of his peers had no such experience, and are horrible, useless people as a result.
MY favorite quote on parenting: “We are the children of children, and we live as we are shown.” – Joe Versus The Volcano
Good job sir!
My congratulations to you and your wife for being excellent parents.
Yup, pretty rare these say. I was taught much of this but not all of it.
A lot of this was picked up by osmosis. But there were a few points that were “pointedly” pointed out to me.
I find comfort that within my clan these values are still taught.
Hey Old NFO;
These are timeless values, Some of these I was taught by my Dad, others, I learned by watching and observing. I have tried to teach most all of these to my son with varying degrees of success, plus there is another couple that needs to be added “All honest work is honorable, and Treat everyone with respect, even the “help”, a true mark of a man and a gentle is how he not only treats the people above him, but the people below him.” It is a test of character and unfortunately too many have failed that one.
assuming “empathic” means “being aware of the feelings of others and not being a jackass and not going out of your way to hurt other’s feelings”…..what does any of that have to do with NOT being empathic??
I like #24.
On #29, the cat won’t show it’s appreciation.
Beat me to the punch!
#26 The difference between leadership and management.
All- Thanks for the comments. Ruth- That was the ‘polite’ word he used…
Frank- True, but most families back in the day had dogs rather than cats… LOL
Gerry- True!
I’ve seen most of these but not taught 1st hand. Most was done as a matter of course and you were expected to pick it up. Thanks for writing it all on one post.
Addendum:
++
33. Capitalize words at random, like “Bullies” in one sentence, then leave it lower-case in the next sentence. Literacy and consistency are for girls. You don’t want to be one of those girly-boys who read books, do you?
jrg- You’re welcome!
Ed- Good one.
TB- Point… LOL
Some by ‘osmotic’ example. NONE by simple properly explained list. A good many things would have been simpler (if not any easier) had a properly explained list been available.
Orvan- Point… sigh
I want to quibble over “kids these days”, but I am also compelled to admit that I am a rude little such and such.
Though, if your kids or grandkids went to public school, and their customs are not to your liking, it is kinda your own fault. Public school has be very abusive in recent generations, and the responsible thing to do is keep kids out of it. And private schools aren’t necessarily the answer, because easily contaminated by the same nonsense.
Homeschooling.