We could all use a bit of it right now…
The Pastor’s Ass
The pastor entered his donkey in a race and it won. The pastor was so pleased with the donkey that he entered it in the race again, and it won again.
The local paper read: PASTOR’S ASS OUT FRONT.
The Bishop was so upset with this kind of publicity that he ordered the pastor not to enter the donkey in another race.
The next day, the local paper headline read: BISHOP SCRATCHES PASTOR’S ASS.
This was too much for the bishop, so he ordered the pastor to get rid of the donkey.
The pastor decided to give it to a nun in a nearby convent. The local paper, hearing of the news, posted the following headline
The next day: NUN HAS BEST ASS IN TOWN.
The bishop fainted. He informed the nun that she would have to get rid of the donkey, so she sold it to a farmer for $10.
The next day the paper read: NUN SELLS ASS FOR $10.
This was too much for the bishop, so he ordered the nun to buy back the donkey and lead it to the plains where it could run wild. The next day the paper read: NUN’S ASS RUNS WILD.
And for us old farts, how many of you recognize this?
Y’all have a good week, and say a prayer for those who are dying in the Ukraine.
Amazing what the effects of one small engagement will bring to the world. Hope an outbreak of Common Sense happens soon, but not optimistic.
Not only do is the picture recognizable, we used to toss the end result into the windows of the air conditioned buses in Chicago.
Water balloon fights! Heck yeah!!!
Starting at the beginning…
We tried using the faucet in my dear old mother’s kitchen.
Mom: What are you kids doing?
Me: Nothin’
Kid 1: Nothin’
Kid 2: Nothin’
Mom: Don’t do that in the kitchen! Take it outside!
Me: Gah! As the water balloon got away from us and did what balloons do.
Kid 1 had an older brother. We thought it would be fun to ambush the older brother from the roof. So we loaded up on ammo, knowing he’d be home soon… and sure enough, it worked. Three kids, six balloons, four solid hits. Only, you see, the older brother had a garden hose…
Universal Mom: What are you kids doing out here? (Not an unreasonable question given that you could hear the water fight in a six block radius).
Older Brother: Mom, they attacked me with water balloons! Look at how wet I am! This was an unprovoked attack, and I was defending myself.
Me: What’s ‘unprovoked’ mean?
Universal Mom: Put away that garden hose. Now! You kids come down from there right now and get into some dry clothes. You’ll catch your death like that.
Kid 1: He’s still got the hose!
This is when the younger brother hit the ground and turned the faucet on, spraying the screen door, the dog, and the mother. The three kids thought it hilariously funny, but Mom didn’t. The older brother was blamed for the whole thing.
jrg- You and me both!
Jet- WOW!!!
Navy- LOL, yep, many a summer!
MJ- Hilarious!
Hey Old NFO;
Using Stalin meme “Humor is like Food, Not all get it”
My last incarnation as an employee was as a counselor at a juvenile detention facility.
I got permission from the powers that be to run a program with the reward to those that completed the program of a water balloon fight on the rec yard…in August at 110°.
The hundred or so water balloon ammo dump was exhausted in about five minutes and the rest of the hour the kids chased each other around with the hose and splashed around in the big kiddie pool I had set up as the ammo dump.
We brought them in to the showers and they got NEW clothes and shoes. It seems that wearing someone else’s used underwear and shoes can be pretty demeaning and new stuff was a BIG deal to the kids.
I repeated the program the next August. Word had spread and there were many more kids working to complete the program.
The following August we booked a kid in and the first thing he asked was if we had already done the water balloon fight!
I overheard several comments from kids to their peers after the activity and they said it was the most fun they had ever had in their lives.
I thought it was a good opportunity to let kids be kids and have some good clean fun.
It worked out.
SCANDALIZED!