Confucius say,

1.  Virginity like bubble. One prick – all gone
2.  Bird in the hand is not better than two in the bush
3.  Man who do business in whore house get jerked around
4.  Gypsies got no babies because gypsies have crystal balls
5.  Panties not best thing on earth, but next to it
6.  War not determine who right. War determine who left
7.  Woman who put husband in doghouse soon find him in cat house
8.  Man who fight with wife all day, get no piece at night
9.  It take many nail to build crib, one screw to fill it
10.  Man who keep feet on ground have trouble putting on pants
11.  If you want pretty nurse, you got to be patient
12.  Passionate kiss like spider web, soon lead to undoing of fly
13.  Man with hand in pocket feel cocky all day long
14.  Woman who go camping must beware of evil intent
15.  Squirrel who runs up woman’s leg not find nuts
16.  Man who run before bus get tired
17.  Man who run behind bus get exhausted
18.  Man who make love on side of hill not on level
19.  Sex is like the army, the closer you are to discharge, the better you feel
20.  Man with tight trousers is pressing his luck
21.  Man who stand on toilet high on pot
22.  Man who eat crackers in bed wake up feeling crummy
23.  man with hand in pocket all day not crazy, just feeling nuts
24.  man who sleep in bed of nails is holy
25.  do not drink and park, accidents cause people
26.  Man who put pea in soup very unclean
27.  Man who run through airport turnstile sideways going to bangkok
28.  Boy who go to sleep with sex problem on mind wake up with solution in hand
29.  Man who fishes in another woman’s well, often catches crab
30.  To meet girl in park is good, but to park meat in girl is better
31.  Squirrel lay on rock and crack nuts, man lay on crack and rock nuts
32.  Butcher who back into meat grinder get a little behind in his orders
33.  Electrician get much angry when find shorts in wife’s bedroom¦
34.  Man who shoot off mouth, must expect to lose face
35. Man with big mouth beware of foot
36.  Man who fart in church, sit in own pew
37.  Woman who fly upside down have crack up
38.  Man who leap off cliff jump to conclusion
39.  Man under wheelbarrow playing with tool, not necessarily mechanic
40.  House without bathroom is uncanny
41.  Foolish man give wife grand piano, wise man give wife upright organ
42.  Man who sits on stool smells like shit
43.  Man who throws dirt is losing ground
44.  Woman who go to man’s apartment for snack, get titbit
45.  Man who lay woman on ground, get piece on earth
46.  Man who get kicked in testicles, left holding the bag
47.  Man who kisses girl’s behind, get crack in face
48.  Girl who ride bicycle, peddle ass all over town
49. Man who buy drowned cat, get wet pussy
50.  Man trapped in pantry, have ass in jam
51.  Girl who sit on jockey’s lap get hot tip
52.  Girl who sit on judge’s lap get honorable discharge
53.  Waitress who sit on leper’s lap, keep tip
54.  Man who snort coke, get bubbles up nose
55.  Cow with no legs, ground beef
56.  Two wrongs not make right, but two rights make u-turn