These came over the transom from the mil-email string…
“To say of what is that it is not, or of what is not that it is, is false; while to say of what is that it is, or of what is not that it is not, is true.” – Aristotle, _Metaphysics_
“If it has tires or testicles, you’re going to have trouble with it.” – Linda Furney, Ohio State Senator
“I must tell you that I’ve been enjoying my involuntary retirement. And I sincerely hope that George Bush will be sharing that pleasure with me come January.” – Jimmy Carter, 1992 Democratic National Convention
“Life. Live it.”
“Sometimes, the road is less traveled for a reason.”
“Follow your bliss.” – Joseph Campbell
“The world is a very cool place.” – Miller Brewing Co.
“Philosophy: a blind man in dark room looking for a black cat which isn’t there.” – Lord Bowen
Paul’s Law: “You can’t fall off the floor.”
“A truly wise man never plays leapfrog with a unicorn.” – Anon.
“I’d give my right arm to be ambidextrous.” – Anon.
“One only needs two tools in life: WD-40 to make things go, and duct tape to make them stop.” – G. Weilacher
“Duct tape is like the force: it has a light side, and a dark side, and it holds the universe together.” – Anon.
“If you can count your money, you don’t have a billion dollars.” – J. Paul Getty
“Hey, who took the cork off my lunch?” – W.C. Fields
First Law of Midterms: If you are given an open-book exam, you will Forget your book.
“Always remember to pillage BEFORE you burn.” – Anon.
“Well, you get what you settle for.” – Louise Sawyer, _Thelma & Louise_
“Reader, suppose you were an idiot. And suppose you were a member of Congress. But I repeat myself.” – Mark Twain
“I know the problems of two lonely people don’t amount to a hill of Beans in this world, but darling, this is our hill, and these are our beans.” – Frank Drebbon, _The Naked Gun_
“He is one of those people who would be enormously improved by death.” – H. H. Munro
What do you call a boomerang that doesn’t work?
A stick.
Enjoy your week, the only place to go from this is UP!!!
Not every problem can be solved with a sword. Sometimes you need an axe.
Burn then rape, it’s more romantic by firelight
— MadMike (though he may have nicked it from someone else)
If it flies, floats, four wheels or fucks, rent it. Stolen from my retired Seal Team 6 buddy.
Pardon my Fwench?
The Aristotelian definition of truth is the original and the best. There is no such thing as “your truth” and “my truth”. There is only incomplete information, and men of good faith are constantly seeking to move closer to the absolute.
As usual, the Feminist plagiarises.
The saying – “If it has tyres or TITS , it’ll give you trouble.”, has been around for a long time.
It’s the same thought-pattern that considers most machinery to be “female”.
Do feminists have no sense of original humour?
Bad- Point!
Francis- Sigh…
Tree- True!
Peter- Agreed, and yes, most machinery is female… sigh
I’m guessing the blind guy is looking for Schrodinger’s cat……….
Re: Tires or Testicles
I remember it as Tires or Tits, but with today’s crop of crazies maybe that should be updated to Wheels or a Womb.