Church humor, since it’s Sunday…

A pastor wakes up in the morning and finds a dead donkey at the church gate. He wondered how it got there, and was anxious to remove the corpse lest it starts spreading stench at the premises of the Holy shrine.

He contacted various agencies including sanitation and health departments of the town but none paid attention to his pleas.

In desperation, the pastor telephoned the mayor. The mayor was very pissed off and curtly chastised the pastor:

“You’re the head of the church, and should know how to dispose of a dead body without bothering me on this trivial matter.”

The pastor, who had by now reached the end of his patience on account of ambivalent attitudes of the mayor and his agencies, shot back:

“Yes, I know that, but I thought before burying the donkey, I should at least notify its next of kin.”

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A preacher was delivering a temperance sermon one hot Sunday afternoon. With great exposition, he said, “If I had all the beer in the world, I’d take it and throw it into the river.”

With greater conviction, he banged his fist on the pulpit; “And if I had all the wine in the world, I’d take it and throw it into the river.”

Finally, he said, “And if I had all the whiskey in the world, I’d take it and throw it into the river.”

Sensing he delivered a powerful sermon, he whipped his brow and sat down.

The choirmaster, with shock on his face, looked over the congregation, stood very cautiously, and announced with a wry smile, “For our closing song, let us sing Hymn #365: “Shall We Gather at the River?”