Why ask why???

How important does a person have to be before he is considered assassinated instead of just murdered?

Once you’re in heaven, do you get stuck wearing the clothes you were buried in for eternity?

Why does a round pizza come in a square box?

What disease did cured ham actually have?

How is it that we put man on the moon before we figured out it would be a good idea to put wheels on luggage?

Why is it that people say they ‘slept like a baby’ when babies wake up like every two hours?

Why are you IN a movie, but you’re ON TV?

Why do people pay to go up tall buildings and then put money in binoculars to look at things on the ground?

Why do doctors leave the room while you change? They’re going to see you naked anyway…

Why is ‘bra’ singular and ‘panties’ plural?

Why do toasters always have a setting that burns the toast to a horrible crisp, which no decent human being would eat?

If Jimmy cracks corn and no one cares, why is there a stupid song about him?

Why does Goofy stand erect while Pluto remains on all fours? They’re both dogs!

If corn oil is made from corn, and vegetable oil is made from vegetables, what is baby oil made from?

Do the Alphabet song and Twinkle, Twinkle Little Star have the same tune?

Why did you just try singing the two songs above?

Did you ever notice that when you blow in a dog’s face, he gets mad at you, but when you take him for a car ride, he sticks his head out the window?

Why, Why, Why

do we press harder on a remote control when we know the batteries are getting dead?

Why do banks charge a fee on ‘insufficient funds’ when they know there is not enough money?

Why does someone believe you when you say there are four billion stars, but check when you say the paint is wet?

Why do they use sterilized needles for death by lethal injection?

Why doesn’t Tarzan have a beard?

Why does Superman stop bullets with his chest, but ducks when you throw a revolver at him?

Why do Kamikaze pilots wear helmets?

If people evolved from apes, why are there still apes?

Why is it that no matter what color bubble bath you use the bubbles are always white?
Is there ever a day that mattresses are not on sale?

Why do people constantly return to the refrigerator with hopes that something new to eat will have materialized?

Why do people keep running over a thread a dozen times with their vacuum cleaner, then reach down, pick it up, examine it, then put it down to give the vacuum one more chance?

Why is it that no plastic bag will open from the end on your first try?

How do those dead bugs get into those enclosed light fixtures?

Why is it that whenever you attempt to catch something that’s falling off the table you always manage to knock something else over?

In winter why do we try to keep the house as warm as it was in summer when we complained about the heat?

How come you never hear father-in-law jokes?


Why ask why??? — 28 Comments

  1. The girlfriend was standing in front of the closet in bra and panties, excusr me, panty. I asked her why panties was used plural. She threw a at my head.

  2. Some answers:

    Cured ham: One of those same word different meanings. Such as fixed like a car or fixed like a cat questions.

    As Pinky said, “If Jimmy cracks corn and no one cares, why does he keep doing it then?”

    For the toast one: For the same reason there are people who like very well done steak. Some people have the attitude if it’s smoking, its cooking. If it’s on fire, its done.

    As for apes: Because evolution says that humans come from a common ancestor species of apes. Divergent evolution allows both to continue to exist while the progenitor species has died out.

    Assassinated means killed for ideas they have and represent. Murdered means for stuff they have or actions they took.

  3. Oh, drat. 9 am and I’ve got “Twinkle, Twinkle, Little Star” stuck in my head.

  4. And one more.

    Because the father in law has better aim.

  5. Why doesn’t Tarzan have a beard?

    “True, he had seen pictures in his books of men with great masses of hair upon lip and cheek and chin, but, nevertheless, Tarzan was afraid. Almost daily he whetted his keen knife and scraped and whittled at his young beard to eradicate this degrading emblem of apehood.
    And so he learned to shave–rudely and painfully, it is true–but, nevertheless, effectively.”
    Edgar Rice Burrows

  6. Twinkle Twinkle:

    Scintillate, scintillate globule vivific,
    Fain would I fathom thy nature specific,
    Loftily poised in the ether capacious,
    Strongly resembling a gem carbonaceous

  7. do we press harder on a remote control when we know the batteries are getting dead?

    I can’t speak for anyone else, but I do.

  8. From what I recall, it’s “gimcrack corn”, not “Jimmy cracks corn”.

    “Corn” in this case is shorthand for corn whiskey. “Gimcrack” means cheap or shoddy.

    What what the refrain means is the songwriter has drunk so much moonshine he doesn’t care any more.

  9. SPE- LOL

    Joe- Good as any answers 🙂

    PH- LOL, sorry!

    WSF- 🙂

    Mrs.C- If he actually DID, he’d have scars all over his face… 😀

    LL- Heh

    Craig- You just HAD to do that, didn’t you… sigh

    CP- LOL, not EVEN going there…

    Rev- Yes they are!

    LL- Same here, actually replaced the batteries last night… sigh

    Timo- “That” is what I always thought it was too… Not that ‘I’ know anybody that made ‘shine… nope…

  10. My answer to most of your questions: because. Now my brain hurts. Very entertaining! LOL

  11. How come you never hear father-in-law jokes?

    Because… THE PATRIARCHY! 😉

  12. “Why are we here?
    Because we’re here!
    Roll the Bones!”
    Neil Peart, “Roll the Bones”

  13. The bubble bath bubbles are white because there’s not enough dye in the soap to tint the surface area of the bubbles. Usually. I had the misfortune of encountering some bubble bath with sufficient dye to make tinted blue bubbles. It also stained skin, hair, tub… Don’t ask.

    Pizza boxes are square because it’s far cheaper, faster, and more efficient to create, ship, store, and fold a square box than a round one. I’m sure there’s a hipster pizza place out there somewhere that has a round box, and charges you outrageous prices for the “privilege.”

    There are plenty of father-in-law jokes. They usually contain shotguns and take place prior to the nupitals.

    Toasters do more than horribly burn toast. The high settings also quickly produce poptarts or other toaster pastries that are hot, filling, and too sweet for any human being older than 20 to stomach.

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