Can’t find anything positive to post, so you get humor…
- Not many people know that Land Rovers attempted to market a computer. Why did they stop? They could not find a way to get it to leak oil!
- A Land Rover doesn´t leak oil, it marks it´s territory. Did you hear about the man whose Land Rover didn’t leak oil? The factory took it backand worked on it until it did.
- Did you hear the one about the guy that peeked into a Land Rover and asked the owner “How can you tell one switch from another at night? They all look the same. ” – “He replied, “It does not matter which one you use, nothing happens !”
- The Lucas motto: “Get home before dark.”
- Lucas is the patent holder for the short circuit.
- Lucas – Inventor of the first intermittent wiper.
- Lucas – Inventor of the self-dimming headlamp.
- The three position Lucas switch – Dim, Flicker and Off.
- The Original Anti-Theft Device – Lucas Electrics.
- >Lucas is an acronym for Loose Unsoldered Connections and Splices
- Lucas systems actually uses AC current; it just has a random frequency.
- “I have had a Lucas pacemaker for years and have never had any trou…”
- If Lucas made guns, wars would not start.
- A friend of mine told everybody he never had any electric problems with his Lucas equipment. Today he lives in the countryside, in a large manor with lots of friendly servants around him an an occasional ice cold shower…
- Back in the 70’s, Lucas decided to diversify its product line and began manufacturing vacuum cleaners. It was the only product they offered which did not suck.
- Q: Why do the British drink warm beer? A: Because Lucas makes their refrigerators
- Alexander Graham Bell invented the Telephone.Thomas Edison invented the Light Bulb. Joseph Lucas invented the Short Circuit.
- Recommended procedure before taking on a repair of Lucas equipment: Check the position of the stars,kill a chicken and walk three times clockwise around your car chanting:” Oh mighty Prince of Darkness protect your unworthy servant..”
And one more…
One day while on their way to get married, a young couple were involved in a fatal car accident. The couple find themselves sitting outside the Pearly Gates waiting for St. Peter to process them into Heaven.
While waiting, they begin to wonder: Could they possibly get married in Heaven?? When Saint Peter shows up, they asked him.
Saint Peter says, “I don’t know. This is the first time anyone has ever asked. Let me go and find out,” and he leaves.
The couple sat and waited for an answer……for a couple of months. While they waited, they discussed that IF they were allowed to get married in Heaven, SHOULD they get married, what with the eternal aspect of it all.
“And what if it doesn’t work out?” they wondered, “Are we stuck together FOREVER?”
After yet another month, St. Peter finally returns looking somewhat bedraggled. “Yes,” he informs the couple, “You CAN get married in Heaven.”
“Great!” said the couple, “But we were just wondering, what if things don’t work out? Could we also get a divorce in Heaven?”
St. Peter, red-faced with anger, slams his clipboard onto the ground.
“What’s wrong?” asked the frightened couple.
“OH, COME ON!!” Saint Peter shouts, “It took me three months to find a Judge up here! Do you have ANY idea how long it’ll take me to find a Lawyer?
Enjoy your weekend folks!