- The nicest thing about the future is . . .. That it always starts tomorrow.
- Money will buy a fine dog, but only kindness will make him wag his tail.
3.. If you don’t have a sense of humor, you probably don’t have any sense at all.
- Seat belts are not as confining as wheelchairs.
- A good time to keep your mouth shut is when you’re in deep water.
- How come it takes so little time for a child who is afraid of the dark to become a teenager who wants to stay out all night?
- Business conventions are important. . .because they demonstrate how many people a company can operate without.
- Why is it that at class reunions you feel younger than everyone else looks?
- Scratch a cat . . . And you will have a permanent job.
- No one has more driving ambition than the teenage boy who wants to buy a car.
- There are no new sins; the old ones just get more publicity.
- There are worse things than getting a call for a wrong number at 4 a..m. – like, it could be the right number.
- No one ever says “It’s only a game” when their team is winning.
- I’ve reached the age where ‘happy hour’ is a nap.
- Be careful about reading the fine print. . . . there’s no way you’re going to like it.
- The trouble with bucket seats is that not everybody has the same size bucket.
- Do you realize that, in about 40 years, we’ll have thousands of old ladies running around with tattoos? (And rap music will be the Golden Oldies!)
- Money can’t buy happiness — but somehow it’s more comfortable to cry in a Cadillac than in a Yugo.
- After 60, if you don’t wake up aching in every joint, you’re probably dead.
- Always be yourself because the people that matter don’t mind . . .. . And the ones that mind don’t matter.
- Life isn’t tied with a bow . .. . .. . .. . But it’s still a gift
And last but not least-
As I watched the dog chasing his tail, I thought dogs are easily amused…
Then I realized I was watching the dog chase his tail.