Laugh or cry…your choice!

Murphy’s First Law for Wives:

If you ask your husband to pick up five items at the store and then you add one more as an afterthought, he will forget two of the first five.

Kauffman’s Paradox of the Corporation:

The less important you are to the corporation, the more your absence is noticed.

The Salary Axiom:

The pay raise is just large enough to increase your taxes and just small enough to have no effect on your take-home pay.

Miller’s Law of Insurance:

Insurance covers everything except what happens.

First Law of Living:

As soon as you start doing what you always wanted to be doing, you’ll want to be doing something else.

Weiner’s Law of Libraries:

There are no answers, only cross-references.

Isaac’s Strange Rule of Staleness:

Any food that starts out hard will soften when stale. Any food that starts out soft will harden when stale.

The Grocery Bag Law:

The candy bar you planned to eat on the way home from the market is always hidden at the bottom of the grocery bag.

And Here goes the last one !!

Lampner’s Law of Employment:

When leaving work late, you will go unnoticed. When you leave work early, you will meet the boss in the parking lot !!!



LOL… — 13 Comments

  1. “When leaving work late, you will go unnoticed. When you leave work early, you will meet the boss in the parking lot !!!”
    Truer words….

  2. I got a pay raise in the military that lowered my take home pay. I think I was an Ensign and went over “x” years of service due to being prior enlisted.

  3. Corollary to Kauffman’s Paradox — the lower your position the longer your job title.

  4. Ed- Yep!

    Dan- LOL, sadly true…

    Hereso- Yep, same here… sigh

    Frank- Oh…GOOD one!!!

  5. Murphy’s Law: Whatever can go wrong, will.
    O’toole’s Commentary: Murphy was an optimist.
    Programmer’s Axiom #1: Neither man ever had to write code.

    Old Indian Wisdom: Eat a live toad first thing in the morning, and nothing worse will happen all day.
    Programmer’s Axiom #2: To you or the toad?

    Management Demands: The first thing we need to do is draw a flowchart of the entire project.
    Programmer’s Axiom #3: Cavemen drew flowcharts. Look at all the good it did them!

  6. The first law for wives is why I always write a list, even if it’s only a couple of items. That way, when she says I forgot something, I can point to the list that she gave me.

  7. Blumstead’s Law:

    If you are irreplaceable, you are unpromotable.

    • The ‘proof’ for that ‘law’ is that there is always another politician waiting to be elected.

    • Worked with a guy who decided that being the only person who knew his job was a guaranteed position. He refused to train a backup, so they fired him, and told the product engineer to figure it out and train a couple people to do it.
      I’ve worked with/around at least one person at every company with that attitude. Stupid. Some were sneaky and trained their backup to do it wrong, making them look better. Usually this was discovered, but it was costly.