How about some humor…


1.Today a man knocked on my door and asked for a small donation towards the local swimming pool, so I gave him a glass of water.

2. I changed my password to “incorrect” so whenever I forget it the computer will say, “Your password is incorrect.”

3. Artificial intelligence is no match for natural stupidity.

4. I’m great at multi-tasking. I can waste time, be unproductive, and procrastinate all at once.

5. If you can smile when things go wrong, you have someone in mind to blame.

6. Doesn’t expecting the unexpected mean that the unexpected is actually expected?

7. Take my advice — I’m not using it.

8. Hospitality is the art of making guests feel like they’re at home when you wish they were.

9. Television may insult your intelligence, but nothing rubs it in like a computer.

10. I bought a vacuum cleaner six months ago and so far all it’s been doing is gathering dust.

11. Every time someone comes up with a foolproof solution, along comes a more-talented fool.

12. If you keep your feet firmly on the ground, you’ll have trouble putting on your pants.

13. A computer once beat me at chess, but it was no match for me at kick boxing.

14. Ever stop to think and forget to start again?

15. When I married Ms. Right, I had no idea her first name was Always.

16. My wife got 8 out 10 on her driver’s test. The other two guys managed to jump out of her way.

17. There may be no excuse for laziness, but I’m still looking.

18. Women spend more time wondering what men are thinking than men spend thinking.

19. Give me ambiguity or give me something else.

20. He who laughs last thinks slowest.

21. Is it wrong that only one company makes the game Monopoly?

22. Women sometimes make fools of men, but most guys are the D-I-Y type.

23. I was going to give him a nasty look, but he already had one.

24. Change is inevitable, except from a vending machine.

25. The grass may be greener on the other side but at least you don’t have to mow it.


How about some humor… — 12 Comments

  1. Thanks for the chuckles Mr. Curtis. I could use them – me tired and its only Tuesday morning for Crissakes !!

  2. All of them are true.

    “The person who says something is “Sailor Proof” has never met junior enlisted sailors.

    I’ve heard it said that if you lock a young sailor in a compartment with a bowling ball, the end result will be a broken bowling ball or a pregnant bowling ball.
    There is a large amount of truth there.

  3. Also, Happy National Citizen’s Band Radio Day! I don’t know if such a thing really exists, but if it does, it really should be today.
    The agnostic dyslexic insomniac stayed up all night long, wondering if there really was a dog.
    And, as the Zombies asked so musically in 1968:
    “What’s your name, Hoosier Daddy?”

  4. could you put an email button at the bottom so i can send it to myself and then forward it to the deserving?

  5. And my alltime favorite… “The sooner you get behind the longer you have to get caught up.”