Why ask why???
How important does a person have to be before they are considered assassinated instead of just murdered?
Why do you have to ‘put your two cents in’.. But it’s only a ‘penny for your thoughts’? Where’s that extra penny going to?
Once you’re in heaven, do you get stuck wearing the clothes you were buried in for eternity?
Why does a round pizza come in a square box?
What disease did cured ham actually have?
How is it that we put man on the moon before we figured out it would be a good idea to put wheels on luggage?
Why is it that people say they ‘slept like a baby’ when babies wake up like every two hours?
If a deaf person has to go to court, is it still called a hearing?
Why are you IN a movie, but you’re ON TV?
Why do people pay to go up tall buildings and then put money in binoculars to look at things on the ground?
Why do doctors leave the room while you change? They’re going to see you naked anyway.
Why is ‘bra’ singular and ‘panties’ plural?
Why do toasters always have a setting that burns the toast to a horrible crisp, which no decent human being would eat?
If Jimmy cracks corn and no one cares, why is there a stupid song about him?
Can a hearse carrying a corpse drive in the carpool lane ?
If the professor on Gilligan’s Island can make a radio out of a coconut, why can’t he fix a hole in a boat?
Why does Goofy stand erect while Pluto remains on all fours? They’re both dogs!
If Wile E. Coyote had enough money to buy all that ACME crap, why didn’t he just buy dinner?
If corn oil is made from corn, and vegetable oil is made from vegetables, what is baby oil made from?
If electricity comes from electrons, does morality come from morons?
Do the Alphabet song , Bah bah Black Sheep, and Twinkle, Twinkle Little Star have the same tune?
Why did you just try singing the songs above?
Why do they call it an asteroid when it’s outside the hemisphere, but call it a hemorrhoid when it’s in your butt?
Did you ever notice that when you blow in a dog’s face, he gets mad at you, but when you take him for a car ride, he sticks his head out the window?
Life kicked my butt this past weekend, busy as hell and I hurt all over. This put some smiles on my face at least temporarily. Thanks !
Hanging out with Steven Wright again?
The toaster one is readily explained. If you do NOT have a setting as low as “warmed bread” and one as high as “might as well be charcoal” someone WILL complain about it. So you include the stupid extremes, even knowing sane people will never use either of them.
About the childrens’ songs: And they all scan to the theme from Gilligans’ Island.
John in Indy
Stairway to Gilligan’s Island.
As does Amazing Grace.
And so does the Marine’s Hymn. The a$$ kicking which is likely to result from demonstrating that is left as an exercise for the reader. 🙂
Wow. It does work.
They call it canola oil because nobody wanted to buy rape oil.
The rape plant, a brassica, is a close relative to rutabaga and kale.
It’s called rape seed oil in the UK, and the plant is called oil seed rape.
If you’re trying to drill a hole in a difficult material like stainless steel, canola oil works very well.
Rape oil used to be the go-to cutting oil before fancy specialist cutting oils became available.
If you use sea salt to cure the ham, does that mean the ham is secured?
It’s nice to start the day with a smile, thank you!
and the pizza is cut into triangles
X2
All- Good ones, thanks!
Long ago I heard that “Jimmy crack corn” really was “Gimme cracked corn”, as in corn whiskey. At which point, nobody’s gonna care and the song makes (some) sense.
“Why do toasters always have a setting that burns the toast to a horrible crisp, which no decent human being would eat?”
Why would you say that about my wife?
RC- I also heard it as Jimmy was the bootlegger…LOL
Ed- Snort…
From what I remember it’s “gimcrack corn” which means cheap badly made corn whiskey.
Tim- Thanks!
Maybe the burnt setting on the toaster for making the old standby poison antidote, “tea, burnt toast and milkofmagnesia”