Sea Stories…

This one courtesy of JP, and too good not to share…

Here’s a personal story of an F-18 Hornet’s set up for an o’dark thirty barricade recovery .  .  on an aircraft carrier in the Pacific’s middle.

[ Note : the barricade is a 20 foot high net that stretches across the carrier’s deck to ‘catch’ bad airplanes during extreme emergencies.]

“Oyster, here.

This note is to share the exciting night I had not that long ago.  It has nothing to do with me wanting to talk about me.  But it has everything to do with sharing what will no doubt become a better story .  .  as the years zoom by.
  
So .  .
There I was, as they say .  .  ‘ manned up’ a hot seat for the 2030 night launch about 500 miles north of Hawaii.  I was taxied off toward the carrier’s island where I did a 180 to get spotted and be the first off #1 Catapult.
  
They lowered my launch bar and started the launch cycle.  All systems were ‘ go’ on the run up.  And after waiting the requisite 5 seconds to make sure my flight controls were good to go, I turned on my outside lights.
  
As is my habit, I shifted my eyes to the catwalk and watched the deck edge dude and as he started his routine of looking left .  .  then to the right.
I put my head back against the head rest.
  
The Hornet cat shot is pretty impressive.  The cat fires, I stage the afterburners and I am along for the ride.
But just prior to the end of the stroke .  .  there’s a huge flash .  ..  and simultaneous .  .  B-O-O-M !
And my night world is now .  .  turmoil!
  
My little pink body is now doing 145 knots .  .  100 feet above the black Pacific.
And there the airplane stays — except for its airspeed .  .  decaying below 140 knots.
I raised my gear.  But the throttles aren’t going any farther forward despite my Schwarzze-negerian effort to force them further ahead.
From out of the ether I hear a voice speak one word : “JETTISON!”  I rogered that!  And a nano-second later my two drops and single MER [ about 4,500 pounds in all ] are bound to black Pacific .  .  close below.
The airplane leapt up.
  
A bit.
But not enough.
I’m now about a mile in front of the boat at 160 feet with airspeed fluctuating from 135 to 140 knots.
Next comment out of the night ether is .  .  another one-worder :
“EJECT!”
I’m still flying .  .  so I said back : “Not yet .  .  I’ve still got it.”
  
Finally, at 4 miles ahead of the boat, I take a peek at my engine instruments and notice my left engine .  .  doesn’t match the right.  [ Funny, how quick glimpses at instruments get burned into your brain.] The left RPM is only at 48% even though I’m still doing the Ah-Nold thing on its push lever.
I bring everything out of afterburner, but allowed both throttle levers to remain against extreme forward detent .
And I get another call from the boat:
“EJECT!”
“Nope!  It’s still flying,” I told them.
At 5 1/2 miles I asked Tower to please get the helo headed my way as I truly believed .  .  I was going to be ‘shelling out.’ At some point, I thought it would probably be a good idea to dump some gas.
  
But as my hand reached down to the dump switch, I actually remembered that we had a NATOPS operation prohibition against dumping fuel now because the after burners .  .  WOULD IMMEDIATELY TORCH THE POURING FUEL!
  
BUT .  .  after a second or two [contemplating the threat of landing an unnecessarily heavy fighter on the night deck] I turned the fuel dump switches ON .  .  any-way.
Immediately [I was told later] .
  .
A SIXTY FOOT ROMAN CANDLE OF S-O-L-I-D FIRE!  TRAILED BEHIND.
At 7 miles I began slow climb to get a little breathing room.  CATCC control chimes in giving me a downwind landing pattern heading.  And I’m like: “Ooh .  .  what a good idea” .  .  and throw down my tail hook.
  
Eventually I get things headed downwind at 900 feet and ask for a Tech Rep [Manufacturer’s Technical Representative].  While waiting, I shut down the flaky and threatening port [left] engine.
  
In short order, I hear ‘ Fuzz ‘ McClure’s voice.  I tell him the following: ‘Okay Fuzz, landing gear’s up .  .  left motor’s off .  .  and I’m only able to stay level if I use some afterburner.
And every time I click off the ‘blower’ and reduce to 100 % military power on the starboard [right] engine .  .  the airplane wants to ‘start down’ at about a 100 feet a minute.”
I continued trucking downwind .  .  trying to keep it level .  .  kept dumping off fuel.  .  and dumping off fuel.
  
I think I must have been in and out of afterburner for about a quarter hour.
  
I’m ten miles out and down to 5000 pounds of gas.  Start to turn back.  My intention was not to land the thing.  I just didn’t want to get too far away from the boat.
  
Of course, as soon I as I stuck in a little 20 degree bank .  .  the crippled F-18 began falling like a stone.  So I ended up doing a shallow bank to stay within a 5 mile radius.
Fuzz is reading me the single engine rate of climb numbers from the ‘book’ based on temperature, etc.  And it doesn’t take us long to figure out that things aren’t adding up.  One of the things I’d learned about the F-18 Hornet is that it is a perfectly good single engine aircraft.  And it usually flies great on one motor.
SO .  .  WHY do I need ‘blower’ [afterburner] to hold me up in the air right now?
  
By this time, I’m talking to Deputy CAG on the flight deck.  And boss CAG who’s on the bridge with the Captain.
And we decide that the thing to do .  .  is for me climb to 3,000 feet and ‘dirty up’ with wheels and flaps down .  .  then check to see if this messed up bird has enough power to do a night approach and landing without slamming into the barricade.
  
I go full burner on my remaining motor.  And eventually make it up to 2,000 feet before going level below a scattered puffy clouds.
The ‘puffies’ are silhouetted against a half a moon.  And part of my busy mind thought was .  .  really, really cool.
  
I start a turn back toward the ship .  .  threw the gear down and ‘clicked off the ‘blower.’ Remember that flash/boom .  .  that started this little tale?
[Repeat it here] B-O-O-M!
  
I jam it back into afterburner.  And after three or four huge compressor stalls [and accompanying deceleration] the right motor ‘comes back.’ I’m thinking my blood pressure was probably ‘up there’ about now .  .  my mouth had no saliva.
  
This next part is great.
You know those stories about guys who deadstick crippled airplanes away from the orphanages and puppy stores and stuff and get all this great media attention?
Well, at this point I’m looking at the running lights of a picket ship in front of me, at about two miles.  And I transmit to no one in particular:  
“You need to have the picket ship hang a left right now.  I think I’m gonna be outta here in a second.”
  
I said it very calmly but with meaning.
The picket immediately pitched out of the fight.  Ha!  I scored major points with the heavies afterwards for this.  Anyway, it’s funny how your mind works in these situations.
OK, so I’m dirty and I get it back level and pass a couple miles up the starboard side of the ship.  I’m still in minimum blower and my fuel state is now about 2500 pounds.  Hmmm.  I hadn’t really thought about running out of gas.
  
I muster up the gonads to pull it out of blower again and sure enough…  flash, BOOM!  I’m thinking that I’m gonna end up punching out and tell Fuzz at this point: “Dude, I really don’t want to try that again.”
  
Don’t think everyone else got it .  .  but ‘Fuzz’ chuckled.
  
Eventually I discover that even the tiniest throttle movements cause the ‘flash boom thing’ to happen so I’m trying to be as smooth as I can.  
I’m downwind a couple miles when CAG comes up and says, “Oyster, we’re going to rig the barricade.”
  
Remember, CAG’s up on the bridge watching me fly around doing fiery blower donuts in the sky.  And he’s also thinking I’m gonna run outta JP-5 fuel.
By now I’ve told everyone who’s listening that there a better than average chance that I’m going to be ejecting.  So the helicopter ‘bubbas’ – God bless ’em – have been on an invisible leash .  .  following me around.
  
“Paddles, you up [listening]?”
“Go ahead” replies “Max” Stout, one of our LSO’s.  “Max, I probably know most of it, but do you want to shoot me the barricade briefing?”  
So, in about a minute .  .  Max went from expecting me to ‘punch out ‘ .  .  to my asking for the barricade brief [so he was hyperventilating].  But he was awesome to hear on the command radio though .  .  just the kind of voice you’d want to hear in this situation.
  
He gave it to me.  Then at nine miles I say: “If I turn now will the barricade be up when I get there?  I don’t want to have to go around again.”
“It’s going up right now, Oyster.  Go ahead and turn.  And turning in, say the final bearing.”  “Zero six three,” adds the voice in CATCC.”
“OK, I’m on a four degree glide slope and I’m at 800 feet.  I will intercept the final glide slope at about a mile and three quarters.  Then reduce power and hold it there.”
When I reduced power: Flash/boom!  [Add power out of fear].  Going high!  Pull power.  Flash/boom!  [Add power out of fear.] Going higher!
[Flashback to LSO school…  “All right class, today’s lecture will be on the single engine barricade approach.  Remember, the one place you really, really don’t want to be is high.  O.K.?  You can go play golf now.”] I start to set up a higher than desired sink rate the LSO hits the “Eat At Joe’s” wave-off night lights.”
  
Very timely too.
I stroke the AB and cross the flight deck with my right hand on the stick and my left thinking about the little yellow and black ejection handle between my knees.
No worries.  I cleared ‘it’ by maybe .  .  ten feet.
My fuel state at the ‘ball call” was showing low at 1.1.  As I slowly climb out I punched the radio button saying .  .  again to no one in particular:
“I can do this.”
  
I’m in blower still and CAG says: “Turn downwind.”  After I get turned around he says: “Oyster, this is gonna be your last look at the boat [in the dark below] so you can turn in again as soon as you’re [feeling] comfortable.”
  
I flew the DAY pattern and I lost about 200 feet in the turn and like I’m a total dumb ass, I look out of the cockpit as I get on centerline. And that ‘NIGHT THING’ about feeling that I’m too high “GRABBED ME!” 

So in error I pushed further down further to 400 feet [above the invisible water now close below.] I got kinda irked at myself, then as I realized I would now be intercepting the four degree glide slope in the middle .  .  with a flash/boom every several seconds all the way down.
  
Last look at my gas was 600-and-some pounds [100 gallons] at a mile and a half astern.  “Where am I on the glide slope, Max?”, I ask.  And I and hear his calm reply: “Roger Ball.” I know I’m low because the ILS [needle] is waaay up there.
  
By now the “Ball’s” shooting up from its depths.  I start flying it.  But before I get a chance to spot the deck I hear: “Cut, cut, CUT!”
I’m really glad I was a ‘Paddles’ for so long because my mind said to me “Do what he says Oyster!”  So I pulled it back to idle.  My hook hit the deck .  .  11 paces beyond the potato locker ceiling’s upper edge.  I hit the deck .  .  skipped the one, the two and snagged the three wire and rolled into the barricade about a foot right of centerline.
Once stopped, my vocal cords involuntarily shouted: “VICTORY!”  The deck lights came on bright.  And just off to my right there must have been a .  .  ga-zillion cranials and eyes watching.
  
You could hear a huge cheer across the flight deck.  After I open the canopy and the first guy I see is our huge Flight Deck Chief named Richards.  And he gives me the coolest personal look .  .  and then two thumbs up.
I will remember all of that forever.
  
P.S.  You’re probably wondering what gave motors problems.
When they taxied that last Hornet over the working catapult .  .  they’d forgotten to remove a section or two of the rubber cat seal.  When the catapult shuttle came back to hook me up, it removed the cat rubber seal, dragged and dropped it front of the intakes.  During my catapult stroke .  .
the rubber seal was inhaled by both motors.
  
Basically, the left engine quit.  And about thirty feet of black rubber was hanging down from its air intake. The right motor .  .  the one that kept running .  .  had also swallowed rubber and had 340 major hits to every one of its engine stages.  The compressor section is trashed.  And two pieces of the cat seal [one 2 feet and the other about 4 feet long] were poking out of the first stage and forward into the air intake.
God Bless General Electric!  By the way, maintenance data showed I had a little over sixty [61] gallons of gas when shutting down after catching the wire and coasting into the barricade.
  
Again, remember this particular number .  .  because after ten more years of telling this story .  .  it will surely be .  .  ‘FUMES MAN .  .  FUMES ..  .  I TELL YOU’!
“Oyster, out.”
[abridged from private source]

Short and sweet, he earned his flight pay that night… 🙂

Okay, I’ll Play…

Alan over at SnarkyBytes brought back some old memories with the D&D Character evaluation… 🙂

It takes a couple of minutes to wade through the form, but this is what I got back…

Neutral Good Dwarf Ranger (8th Level)

Ability Scores:
Strength- 13
Dexterity- 16
Constitution- 13
Intelligence- 16
Wisdom- 16
Charisma- 16

Alignment:
Neutral Good- A neutral good character does the best that a good person can do. He is devoted to helping others. He works with kings and magistrates but does not feel beholden to them. Neutral good is the best alignment you can be because it means doing what is good without bias for or against order. However, neutral good can be a dangerous alignment when it advances mediocrity by limiting the actions of the truly capable.

Race:
Dwarves are known for their skill in warfare, their ability to withstand physical and magical punishment, their hard work, and their capacity for drinking ale. Dwarves are slow to jest and suspicious of strangers, but they are generous to those who earn their trust. They stand just 4 to 4.5 feet tall, but are broad and compactly built, almost as wide as they are tall. Dwarven men value their beards highly.

Class:
Rangers- Rangers are skilled stalkers and hunters who make their home in the woods. Their martial skill is nearly the equal of the fighter, but they lack the latter’s dedication to the craft of fighting. Instead, the ranger focuses his skills and training on a specific enemy a type of creature he bears a vengeful grudge against and hunts above all others. Rangers often accept the role of protector, aiding those who live in or travel through the woods. His skills allow him to move quietly and stick to the shadows, especially in natural settings, and he also has special knowledge of certain types of creatures. Finally, an experienced ranger has such a tie to nature that he can actually draw on natural power to cast divine spells, much as a druid does, and like a druid he is often accompanied by animal companions. A ranger’s Wisdom score should be high, as this determines the maximum spell level that he can cast.

Find out What Kind of Dungeons and Dragons Character Would You Be?, courtesy of Easydamus (e-mail)

Cops doing good…

Yes, it does happen, but these are the stories that never seem to make the media…

Police give young mom a helping hand after shoplifting accusation

by Ashley B. Craig

Charleston Daily Mail staff

Charleston Patrolman Ryan Williard and Detective Duane Fields helped a struggling mother accused of shoplifting at the Patrick Street K-Mart.

What started as an ordinary shoplifting call turned in to something more for two Charleston police officers.

Patrolmen Ryan Willard and Duane Fields were dispatched July 30 to K-Mart at the PatrickStreetPlaza to look into a shoplifting. They spoke to the loss prevention officer when they arrived and then were led to a room inside the store.

There they found a young woman and her two young daughters – a 7- or 8-year-old and a 2-year-old who was still in diapers.

When they learned what the woman had tried to take from the store, their hearts went out to her.

“She didn’t take anything to benefit herself,” Willard said. “She had only taken baby diapers, rash cream and some clothes for her children, ’cause she said she was going through kind of a rough divorce and her husband wasn’t really helping out.”

Willard, 24, and Fields, 34, talked about the situation with each other and then with the loss prevention officer.

“I just felt bad for her,” Fields said. “I’ve got kids at home.”

Fields, a father of two who just made detective, offered to buy diapers and rash cream for the baby and Willard took her and the children into the store to pick out a couple of outfits, shoes and socks.

“You could tell she was just down on her luck, and it’s good for the police to be able to show people that we’re just normal just like them and that we can step out of our boundaries and help in their time of need as well.

Read the rest of the story HERE.

Kudos to them!

Teh Funny…

You know you’ve seen the same security training video when it’s starting to sound like the Rocky Horror Picture Show during the video and people start taking parts…

And arguing over who gets to be which part…

Hey, “I” wanted the damsel in distress! No you had that last time and screwed it up, and  one of the ladies pipes up, It’s ‘MY’ turn to be the terrorist, you guys accents are terrible!

Oh well, at least we put the check in the block for another 6 months…

The ‘new’ Navy???

The Department of Defense (DoD) is proud to announce a new fleet of Class 69 destroyers. Having initially named the first two ships USS Daring and USS Dauntless, The Naming Committee has, after intensive pressure from Congress, renamed them USS Cautious and USS Prudent.

The next five ships are to be USS Empathy, USS Circumspect, USS Nervous, USS Timorous and USS Apologist.  Costing $850 million each they comply with the very latest employment, equality, health and safety and human rights laws.

The U.S. Navy fully expects any future enemy to be decent and to comply with the same high standards of our behavior.
The viewer friendly stacks will be painted in the “gay pride” colors.  Live ammunition has been replaced with paintballs to reduce the risk of anyone getting hurt and to cut down on the number of compensation claims.  Stress counselors and lawyers will be on board, as will a union representative for each of the trades on board.

The crew will be 50%/50% men and women and will contain the correct balance of race, gender, sexuality and disability.
Sailors will only work a maximum of 40 hours per week as per union rules on working hours, time and a half for overtime and double time on Sundays and holidays, even in wartime.

All the vessels are equipped with a maternity ward and a gay disco.  Tobacco will be banned throughout the ship, but recreational cannabis will be allowed in wardrooms and messes.
Saluting of officers is now considered elitist and has been replaced by “Hi Sailor”.

All information on notice boards will be in 37 different languages.  Crew members will now have permission to grow beards and/or mustaches. This applies equally to female crew.

A majority of Senators have suggested a “non-specific” flag because the current “Stars and Stripes” may offend some Nations during port calls.

The newly re-named USS Cautious will be commissioned shortly by muslim cleric from the Washington DC Mosque who will detonate a small explosive device near the hull.

As she will gently slide into the sea the Marines Corp Band will play “In the Navy” by the Village People.

Her first deployment will be to escort boatloads of illegal immigrants to ports on the East coast.

The President said, “Our ships reflect the very latest in modern thinking and they will always be able to comply with any new legislation from the U.N.”  His final words were, “I told you there would be “CHANGE!”

Really not too far from the truth… dammit…

h/t JP

It’s Official…

Kahr Arms is moving out of NY…

WHITE PLAINS, N.Y. –  A firearms manufacturer in New York, partially blaming the state’s new gun control law, said Wednesday it’s moving its corporate offices — and its plans for expansion — to Pennsylvania.

Kahr Firearms Group of Pearl River is the first gunmaker to announce it’s leaving because of the Secure Ammunition and Firearms Enforcement Act, which was put into law after closed-door negotiations in January. It was the first law in the nation prompted by the killing of 20 first-graders and six educators in Newtown, Conn., in December.

‘‘We’re looking for a more friendly environment for our business,’’ said Frank Harris, Kahr’s vice president for sales and marketing. ‘‘Maybe we could have stayed here and built a plant, but the way the bill was passed left us feeling there were a lot of uncertainties going forward.’’

Read the whole article HERE.

One down, and how many more to go from MA, CT, MD???

Yep, actions have consequences!!! Good for Kahr!!!

Interesting history…

The old vs. bold pilots thingie has been around for a lot longer that we thought…

image001

Apparently Gen Hap Arnold didn’t want his old pilots getting killed by recruits or flying fighters, or dogfighting, or flying at night…

Needless to say, this went straight out the window two years and a bit later…

By 1945 the 23 year old Colonel with 50 missions WAS the old bold pilot!

More worrisome that NSA???

A couple of folks were discussing this today…

Undated documents show that federal agents are trained to “recreate” the investigative trail to effectively cover up where the information originated, a practice that some experts say violates a defendant’s Constitutional right to a fair trial. If defendants don’t know how an investigation began, they cannot know to ask to review potential sources of exculpatory evidence – information that could reveal entrapment, mistakes or biased witnesses.

“I have never heard of anything like this at all,” said Nancy Gertner, a Harvard Law School professor who served as a federal judge from 1994 to 2011. Gertner and other legal experts said the program sounds more troubling than recent disclosures that the National Security Agency has been collecting domestic phone records. The NSA effort is geared toward stopping terrorists; the DEA program targets common criminals, primarily drug dealers.

Full article HERE.

There have been ‘rumors’ of this going back 20+ years… Appears now that where there was ‘smoke’ there really was ‘smoke’…

And another link HERE from Reuters UK…