For those who don’t know much about history…… here is a Elsie (condensed) version.
Humans originally existed as members of small bands of nomadic hunters/gatherers. They lived on deer in the mountains during the summer and would go to the coast and live on fish and lobster in the winter.
The two most important events in all of history were:
1. The invention of beer, and
2. The invention of the wheel. The wheel was invented to get man to the beer.
These were the foundations of modern civilization and together were the catalyst for the splitting of humanity into two distinct subgroups:
Once beer was discovered, it required grain and that was the beginning of agriculture. Neither the glass bottle nor aluminum can were invented yet, so while our early humans were sitting around waiting for them to be invented, they just stayed close to the brewery. That’s how villages were formed.
Some men spent their days tracking and killing animals to B-B-Q at night while they were drinking beer. This was the beginning of what is known as the Conservative movement.
Other men who were weaker and less skilled at hunting learned to live off the conservatives by showing up for the nightly B-B-Q’s and doing the sewing, fetching, and hair dressing. This was the beginning of the Liberal movement.
Some of these liberal men eventually evolved into women. The rest became known as girlie-men.
Some noteworthy liberal achievements include the domestication of cats, the invention of group therapy, group hugs, and the concept of Democratic voting to decide how to divide the meat and beer that conservatives provided.
Over the years Conservatives came to be symbolized by the largest, most powerful land animal on earth, the elephant. Liberals are symbolized by the jackass.
Modern liberals like imported beer (with lime added), but most prefer white wine or imported bottled water. They eat raw fish, but like their beef well done. Sushi, tofu, and French food are standard liberal fare. Another interesting evolutionary side note:
Most of their women have higher testosterone levels than their men.
Most social workers, personal injury attorneys, journalists, dreamers in Hollywood and group therapists are liberals. Liberals invented the designated hitter rule because it wasn’t fair to make the pitcher also bat.
Conservatives drink domestic beer. They eat red meat and still provide for their women. Conservatives are big-game hunters, rodeo cowboys, lumberjacks, construction workers, firemen, medical workers, police officers, corporate executives, athletes, soldiers, and generally anyone who works productively. Conservatives who own companies hire other conservatives who want to work for a living.
Liberals produce little or nothing. They like to govern the producers and decide what to do with the production. Liberals believe Europeans are more enlightened than Americans. That is why most of the liberals remained in Europe when conservatives were coming to America . The liberals crept in after the Wild West was tamed and created a business of trying to get more for nothing.
Here ends today’s lesson in world history……. It should be noted that a Liberal may have a momentary urge to angrily respond to the above.
A Conservative will simply laugh and knowing the absolute truth of this history, he will be forward it immediately to other true believers and to more liberals just to piss them off….
Of note: “Calling an illegal alien an “undocumented immigrant” is like calling a drug dealer an “unlicensed pharmacist.”
Now that was humor… This however was not…
Democrat Billary Rodham Clinton said Tuesday that a mandate requiring every American to purchase health insurance was the only way to achieve universal health care but she rejected the notion of punitive measures to force individuals into the health care system.
Billary was quoted as saying, “”At this point, we don’t have anything punitive that we have proposed,” the presidential candidate said in an interview with The Associated Press. “We’re providing incentives and tax credits which we think will be very attractive to the vast majority of Americans.”
Liberals produce little or nothing, but want US, you and me, to pay for our own health care (and you can bet your bippy, all the ‘disenfrancised’ too)
AT THIS POINT???? WTFO????? This is beginning to scare the hell outta me… Go read ANY of the nurse blogs I’m linked to and they all have a common thread, the freeloaders are taking over the ER’s and everywhere else, demanding their free drugs and basically holding the ER’s hostage. Read below for even MORE chills…
She said she could envision a day when “you have to show proof to your employer that you’re insured as a part of the job interview — like when your kid goes to school and has to show proof of vaccination,” but said such details would be worked out through negotiations with Congress.
ARGGHHHH!!!! Somebody please…please tell me this is all a bad dream and I’m gonna wake up soon… whimper…