Teh STORM…

Posted on by March 6, 2013
Fact- We will probably get hit Monday with the left side of the ‘Frankenstorm’.

The weatherguessers are still ‘reviewing’ tracks, but there is consensus that the Bermuda High is going to push it into the Eastern US.

Here’s the ‘best’ prediction- 


Now the radio commentators on the other hand…

(Ahem- Best radio announcer voice)

The STORM is coming, but there is no cause for panic…

But buy generators, because the power is going to go out for DAYS…

But there is no cause for panic…

Buy toilet paper, buy bread, buy water, buy food that doesn’t need to be heated, fill your tubs, fill your trashcans, fill your…

But there is no cause for panic…

There’s going to be FLOODING, O.M.G. Elevensies…  Move to higher ground!  Move to the second floor!!!

But there is no cause for panic…


(cue breathless reporter, sounds of traffic in background)

Yes Mike, there are a LOT of folks out today, and they all seem to be intent on (sound of squealing brakes and crash in background) getting to the stores quickly.  Ahh… ummm. back to you in the studio.


And now for the latest on the STORM…


But there is no cause for panic…

Sigh…  And yes the stores WERE that stupid, along with the traffic…

Line a half a block long to get into the grocery store, hardware store parking lot was full, and so were most gas stations.

I was actually on an ammo hunt, and needed to replace my Nemesis holster for my BUG, so I bypassed all that stuff and went to the gun store. IT was packed too!!! 

And ammo prices are just STUPID HIGH!!!  One guy was complaining that he’d bought the same ammo 6 months ago for $16/box and it was now $24/box; the counter guy said their wholesale prices were up $7-8 box average, so they had no choice!

Thankfully, I’ve got enough to tide me over for a month or two…

So y’all take care, and stay dry…

Turning the Tables…

Posted on by March 6, 2013

Funny, but even funnier if this actually got published… Supposedly from a little old Brit lady to her bank…

Dear  Sir:

I am writing to thank you for bouncing my cheque with which I endeavoured to pay my plumber last month.

By my calculations, three nanoseconds must have elapsed between his presenting the cheque and the arrival in my account of the funds needed to honour it.

I refer, of course, to the automatic monthly deposit of my entire pension, an arrangement which, I admit, has been in place for only eight years.

You are to be commended for seizing that brief window of opportunity, and also for debiting my account £30 by way of penalty for the inconvenience caused to your bank.

My thankfulness springs from the manner in which this incident has caused me to rethink my errant financial ways. I notice that whereas  I personally answer your telephone calls and letters,  when I try to contact you, I am confronted by the impersonal, overcharging, pre-recorded, faceless entity which your bank has become.

From now on, I, like you, choose only to deal with a flesh-and-blood  person.

My mortgage and loan repayments will therefore and hereafter no longer be automatic, but will arrive at your bank, by cheque, addressed personally and confidentially to an employee at your bank whom you must nominate.

Be aware that it is an OFFENCE under the Postal Act for any other person to open such an envelope.

Please find attached an Application Contract which I require your chosen employee to complete.

I am sorry it runs to eight pages, but in order that I know as much about him or her as your bank knows about me, there is no  alternative.

Please note that all copies of his or her medical history must be countersigned by a Notary Public figure, and the mandatory details of his/her financial situation (income, debts, assets and liabilities) must be accompanied by documented proof.

In due course, at MY convenience, I will issue your employee with a PIN number which he/she must quote in dealings with me.

I regret that it cannot be shorter than 28 digits but, again, I have  modelled it on the number of button presses required of me to access my account balance on your phone bank service.

As they say, imitation is the sincerest form of flattery.

Let me level the playing field even further.

When you call me, press buttons as follows:

IMMEDIATELY AFTER DIALLING, PRESS THE  STAR (*) BUTTON FOR ENGLISH
#1. To make an appointment to see me

#2. To query a missing payment.

#3. To transfer the call to my living room in case I am there.

#4 To transfer the call to my bedroom in case I am sleeping.

#5. To transfer the call to my toilet in case I am attending to nature.

#6. To transfer the call to my mobile phone if I am not at home.

#7. To leave a message on my computer, a password to access my computer is required.

Password will be communicated to you at a later date to that Authorized Contact mentioned earlier.

#8. To return to the main menu and to listen to options 1 to 9 

#9. To make a general complaint or enquiry.

The contact will then be put on hold, pending the attention of my automated answering service. While this may, on occasion,  involve a lengthy wait, uplifting music will play for the duration of the call. Regrettably, but again following your example, I must also levy an  establishment fee to cover the setting up of this new arrangement.

May I wish you a happy, if ever so slightly less prosperous New Year?

Your Humble Client

Remember:
  
Don’t make old people mad. We don’t like being old in the first place, so it doesn’t take much to piss us  off. 

Don’t forget:  “Press 1 for English, 2 for Spanish’ 3 for Swahili, 4 for Urdu. 5 for Arabic, 6 for Zulu, 7 for !Xhosa, 8 for Punjabi, 9 for Hindi”

h/t JP

My $.02…

Posted on by March 6, 2013
I said from the get-go that Benghazi was a cover up. 

That there were assets ‘available’.

That ‘games’ were being played.

That our folks died for political gain.

And I got laughed at, I was ‘paranoid’.

And sonofabitch if every damn bit of it is true…

All you have to do is search the net, it’s all getting out there…

Do you REALLY want to let that asshole have another four years to continue KILLING OUR PEOPLE to forward his own agenda?

I sure as hell don’t and I voted absentee yesterday. I’m done, hopefully my vote will count (I am one of those bitter clingers)…
 

 

Another ‘Sea Story’…

Posted on by March 6, 2013
So there we were, loafing along at 10,000 feet, nothing between us and… oops, wrong story…

Ahem…

Back in the mid-late 80s it was always a guessing game as to how many Russian subs were actually IN the Mediterranean at any one time…

So we happened to be chasing a Victor III class boat, designated as a Schuka; but we called them “Walkers” because of all the s**t John Walker gave them. Link HERE.


Note- I NEVER saw ‘this’ particular view of one…

Anyhoo… We’re tasked on this guy and had a pretty good idea where he was going to be, so we got out ahead of him and got a pattern in the water and lo and behold there he was. So we’re figuring a quiet 6 hours onstation…

Yeah, right…

Well, we called it in; and the next thing I hear is a pair of VS guys flying S-3s asking if they can get in on the tracking…

So being the nice guys we were, we said SURE, come on over…

Stacked em above us, and once they had a handle, we went high and let the first one have his turn.  About a half hour later, his wingman went low and took his turn…

So now we’re the meat in the sandwich between two S-3s and about that time here comes a plummy British voice on the net, to the effect of “Hey mate, you got something and can we come play?”


Sigh… Sure, Nimrod you’re highboy, take your turn and right now you’re number FOUR in the stack!

They come back with something like, “FOUR, Blimey who ELSE is out here?” So I list everybody off, and then we drop back down to take our turn again.

Get the Nimrod integrated into the chase, and cycle off for the first S-3 to jump back in; and ANOTHER damn voice comes on the net…

HHHey,  WWWWeee HHHeear YYyou GGGot CCCONTACT, CCCan weeee PPPLlllayyy?

Oh joy, NOW we get a helo that wants in…


Sure Helo, you’re number FIVE in the stack, take highboy, and you’ll get a turn in a bit.

SSSSay WWWHHHAAATTT?

You’re highboy, climb like hell!  List who’s there and his altitude assignment and of course the helo guys start bitching…

Get them integrated, the first S-3 cycles off, and it’s the second S-3s turn…

At this point vertically it’s S-3, Nimrod, Helo, P-3 and S-3….

And the helo bubbas are paranoid… They are NOT used to being in the middle of a sandwich with multiple airplanes, much less having jets running around below AND above them…

The second S-3 cycles off, the Nimrod takes over, and the S-3s decide they are low fuel so it’s time to go back to the bird farm…

The Nimrod decides he’s had enough fun, so he cycles off and departs, so the helo FINALLY gets his turn (and calms down)! 

He tracks for a bit, then HE decides he’s gotta go back to the small boy, so he departs.

Finally, some peace and quiet… sigh…

We finish out our onstation and turn over to our relief and WE RTB.

Now this is where it gets funny… 

See, everybody went to a different location…  Birdfarm, small boy, Brit base, US base…

And everybody reported submarine contact… At different times, from different locations…

So there for a while, there was PSH in higher headquarters as to HOWINTHEHELL did FOUR submarines get in the Med, and nobody knew…  And then ‘somebody’ finally looked at the positions and times; Oh, just ONE sub…

And WE later got our butts chewed for letting the others play…

So much for being a nice guy!

Veteran dies after casting one last vote…

Posted on by March 6, 2013
He did his ‘duty’ to the end…

HONOLULU – A World War II veteran whose effort to vote from his deathbed inspired thousands has died a week after casting his final ballot.
Frank Tanabe passed away peacefully Wednesday at the Honolulu home of his daughter, where he’s been in hospice treatment for the past few weeks after being diagnosed with an inoperable cancer tumor in his liver. He was 93.



Barbara Tanabe said it’s not important who her father voted for – it’s the voting itself that makes a difference.

Amen to that…

You can read the whole article HERE.

RIP Sir, RIP.  We’ll take it from here.

Danger Will Robinson…

Posted on by March 6, 2013
As Radio Frequency IDentification (RFID) becomes more prevalent, more and more scammers are out there trying to (and getting) information from those things we carry that have RFID chips in them.  

This video shows you CAN get info from credit cards in your wallet (ALL of the cards).  Granted they do have to get fairly close to you to do it, but how often are you in crowded situations?  At the mall, on the subway/Metro, in the elevator???


So far, I’ve been lucky to be able to stave this off by requesting NOT to have RFID embedded in my cards when I get updated ones.    A ‘simple’ fix is to put a piece of aluminium foil in your wallet or pocketbook like you would a dollar bill (making sure it wraps around the cards).  If you have one of those wallets with a ‘secret’ compartment, just put the aluminium foil in there like it’s money- Who knows, you might actually SAVE your money…

And you ‘should’ be checking your credit card statements every month to make sure there aren’t any ‘stray’ charges… You DO that don’t you???

h/t JP

Last Ride…

Posted on by March 6, 2013
A tribute to HS-14 after 18 years in Japan as the onboard helo squadron for the Japan based carriers. These folks did it all; CSAR, cargo, pers trans, and big players in Tomodachi.  


Congrats on a job well done HS-14!!! 

Sometimes ya just gotta wonder…

Posted on by March 6, 2013
What in the hell were/are they thinking???

One of the ‘better’ ones… 🙂


And one worth watching, even if it is from the 1940’s.  We could ALL stand to remember this…

http://archive.org/details/TheHouseILiveIn

Nuff said…

ROE, FONs, and other ‘Fun’ things…

Posted on by March 6, 2013
A couple of converstations and some blog posts from various folks got me started down memory lane…

Rules of Engagement (ROE)

Ed Rasimus over at Thunder Tails did a great job in his books of talking about the ROE we had in Vietnam from the USAF perspective, and took some (expected) shots at the Navy. 🙂

But, ours wasn’t a piece of cake either…  ROE differed significantly between I Corps and II Corps, especially with respect to the offshore activities (mostly the stuff ‘we’ were involved with).  We primarily chased the armed sampans that were trying to re-enforce the VC in South Vietnam with nightly trips South.

If you were down in I Corps and you got shot at, it was simple; call the ‘duty’ attack airplane, end of problem.  Report it when you got back.

In II Corps, it wasn’t that easy…  You had to get shot at, confirm the shooter, call back for permission to shoot to some Army post, who then called the Province Cheif (VN), who then ‘decided’ whether return fire was authorized (usually it was not)!!!

ROE’s are pretty much changeable depending on who is in charge, how ‘questionable’ the information is (seems like they never trusted us then, nor the troops now)…

Freedom of Navigation (FONs)

Another ‘fun’ little exercise… During the Cold War, and still today FON Ops are conducted to within 12 NM of foreign shores to exercise freedom of the air and seas.  12 NM is internationally recognized as the limit of ‘space’ owned by countries over the water.  In the late 70’s we were doing a FON up off Russia, so we had a rotating set of F-4s supporting us.  Of course the USSR put up an IL-38 May and a set of Mig-25s to ‘counter’ us…  Both sets of fighters were fully weaponed up (just to add a bit of spice to the equation)…

So we’re flying patterns dropping buoys, which would be countered by the IL-38, and any time we ‘approached’ the 12 mile limit (we used radar to ‘ensure’ we never crossed), the Mig would swap sides with the IL-38 and aggressively push us out.

One Mig was VERY aggressive in his ‘push’, so we decided to fix his butt… We were at the Southern end of our track and getting close to our offsta time, so we called the F-4 (who conveniently was off the opposite wing) and told him we were going to slow down.  We dropped to 180 kts, the F-4 dropped flaps, leading edge, etc. and was basically hanging on the engines, and we noted the Mig was starting to wallow a bit. We kept coming back on the power, down to 160, then 150, then 140.  All the while we were gradually descending from 5000 to 3000 feet.  Finally at about 140 kts, the Mig departed and stalled/pitched over…

Needless to say he was a ‘tad’ upset…  We told the F-4 we were continuing down, departing to the SE ‘slowly’… The F-4 jumped to the other side, and he and the Mig went a couple of rounds, of feint and maneuver until they finally decided we were not going to play anymore…

We did similar things in the Med in the 80’s except we’d tuck F-14s in and they would ‘ride’ with us as we patrolled below the “Line of Death” Qaddafi had threatened us with. Never had any real problems down there. 

A friend from OCS was aboard a CG who got tasked to go a FON up in the Black Sea, and his trip got ‘rather’ exciting, according to him.  They were conducting a FON off Russia, when a Krivak came out and started pacing them.  They were maintaining about 12.1nm off the coast when the Krivak sped up and RAMMED them on the port side!  The Krivak kept pushing them until they stepped out to about 12 1/2 miles.  He said the OPREP 3 on that was interesting…

Edit- Corrected thanks Helm and a couple of others- CG not DDG… I wuz an airdale… It’s a ship! 🙂

“Fun” things…

One more Med story- During the Libyian bombing, politics got in the way (gee, BIG surprise), and the decision was made to make this the first operational use of the F-117 (but then the AF got paranoid) so they decided to use FB-111s from Lakenheath rather than just Navy attack acft already in the Med (we ONLY had three carriers there at the time; Saratoga, America, and Coral Sea).  Well Reagan, in the interest of ‘harmony’ within NATO, informs the other countries of the plan.

Immediately the French and Spanish refuse over-flight authorization… So rather than a short flight or going back to Navy assets, the Pentagon decided to use FB-111s and make them fly down and through the STROG into the Med (adding at least two hours to the mission).  Meanwhile, ‘we’ were supposed to loadout with Harpoons and be the onstation CSAR asset. 
 
Except, Italy had also been told…  And at NAS Sigonella, the weapons were physically located across a public road from the airfield.  Which the Italians blocked…  I really though we were going to get in a shooting war with the Italians right then and there, as the Marines escorting the weapons were in a LAV and were locked and loaded and weapons were pointed at the Italians. AND the Marine Guard on the Airfield was also locked, loaded and had the field side gate opened to receive the weapons.  It never got resolved and we got launched with nothing on the wings… sigh…

We lost one FB-111 with two crewmen, but we never got a SAR call, and since the Libyans recovered not only the bodies, but the acft, it’s probable they crashed right off the coast.  I can’t help but blame the Spanish, French and Italians for those losses…

If they’d been allowed direct over-flight, the odds of success would have greatly increased, they would not have been as tired, and probably would have survived!

Then you have the number of acft that have been ‘hit’ by the other side, be it the USSR or China…

Flying missions up North of Iceland were always interesting, some times the harassment was Fighters, sometimes Bear Fs.  We flew a profile one day, nothing; the next day a Norwegian crew flew the SAME profile and got hit by a Mig-31 and destroyed and engine and sprayed parts through the fuselage… They got back okay though. 

And there’s the story of PR-32… It was also hit by a Chinese F-8 off Hainan Island.  You can read the CRS report HERE. 

This is ‘stuff’ that our Military does every day, because it’s their job. John Q. Public is seldom aware of the potential impact to those who are flying the airplanes, driving the boats, or doing the ‘dirty’ work behind the lines…

We called it ‘fun’, but that was the gallows humor of the situation(s).  Every chance in the world to F-it up, and very few to do it right! 

But that’s just my perspective…

You can go read Blind Man’s Bluff for more from the Sub side, or Deep Black to get a sense of what does go on ‘behind the curtain’ so to speak, or get Ed’s books… 

Kicking the soap box back in the corner now… Thanks for reading!