My take on the Be Calm meme… 🙂
Can you tell I’m bored??? 🙂
My take on the Be Calm meme… 🙂
Can you tell I’m bored??? 🙂
Some old, some new… Enjoy!
1. A bicycle can’t stand alone; it is two -tired.
2. A will is a dead giveaway.
3. Time flies like an arrow; fruit flies like a banana.
4. A backward poet writes inverse.
5. A chicken crossing the road: poultry in motion.
6. When a clock is hungry it goes back four seconds.
7. The guy who fell onto an upholstery machine was fully recovered.
8. You are stuck with your debt if you can’t budge it.
9. He broke into song because he couldn’t find the key.
10. A calendar’s days are numbered.
11. A boiled egg is hard to beat.
12. He had a photographic memory which was never developed.
13. The short fortuneteller who escaped from prison: a small medium at large.
14. Those who get too big for their britches will be exposed in the end.
15. When you’ve seen one shopping center you’ve seen a mall.
16. If you jump off a Paris bridge, you are in Seine .
17. When she saw her first strands of gray hair, she thought she’d dye.
18. Santa’s helpers are subordinate clauses.
19. Acupuncture: a jab well done.
20. Marathon runners with bad shoes suffer the agony of de feet.
21. The roundest knight at king Arthur’s round table was Sir Cumference. He acquired his size from too much pi.
22. I thought I saw an eye doctor on an Alaskan island, but it turned out to be an optical Aleutian .
23. She was only a whiskey maker, but he loved her still.
24. A rubber band pistol was confiscated from algebra class because it was a weapon of math disruption.
25. No matter how much you push the envelope, it’ll still be stationery.
26. A dog gave birth to puppies near the road and was cited for littering.
27. Two silk worms had a race. They ended up in a tie.
28. A hole has been found in the nudist camp wall. The police are looking into it.
29. Atheism is a non-prophet organization.
30. I wondered why the baseball kept getting bigger. Then it hit me.
31. A sign on the lawn at a drug rehab center said: ‘Keep off the Grass.’
32. A small boy swallowed some coins and was taken to a hospital. When his grandmother telephoned to ask how he was, a nurse said, ‘No change yet.’
33. The soldier who survived mustard gas and pepper spray is now a seasoned veteran.
34. Don’t join dangerous cults: practice safe sects.
1. A bicycle can’t stand alone; it is two -tired.
2. A will is a dead giveaway.
3. Time flies like an arrow; fruit flies like a banana.
4. A backward poet writes inverse.
5. A chicken crossing the road: poultry in motion.
6. When a clock is hungry it goes back four seconds.
7. The guy who fell onto an upholstery machine was fully recovered.
8. You are stuck with your debt if you can’t budge it.
9. He broke into song because he couldn’t find the key.
10. A calendar’s days are numbered.
11. A boiled egg is hard to beat.
12. He had a photographic memory which was never developed.
13. The short fortuneteller who escaped from prison: a small medium at large.
14. Those who get too big for their britches will be exposed in the end.
15. When you’ve seen one shopping center you’ve seen a mall.
16. If you jump off a Paris bridge, you are in Seine .
17. When she saw her first strands of gray hair, she thought she’d dye.
18. Santa’s helpers are subordinate clauses.
19. Acupuncture: a jab well done.
20. Marathon runners with bad shoes suffer the agony of de feet.
21. The roundest knight at king Arthur’s round table was Sir Cumference. He acquired his size from too much pi.
22. I thought I saw an eye doctor on an Alaskan island, but it turned out to be an optical Aleutian .
23. She was only a whiskey maker, but he loved her still.
24. A rubber band pistol was confiscated from algebra class because it was a weapon of math disruption.
25. No matter how much you push the envelope, it’ll still be stationery.
26. A dog gave birth to puppies near the road and was cited for littering.
27. Two silk worms had a race. They ended up in a tie.
28. A hole has been found in the nudist camp wall. The police are looking into it.
29. Atheism is a non-prophet organization.
30. I wondered why the baseball kept getting bigger. Then it hit me.
31. A sign on the lawn at a drug rehab center said: ‘Keep off the Grass.’
32. A small boy swallowed some coins and was taken to a hospital. When his grandmother telephoned to ask how he was, a nurse said, ‘No change yet.’
33. The soldier who survived mustard gas and pepper spray is now a seasoned veteran.
34. Don’t join dangerous cults: practice safe sects.
Spent a couple of hours yesterday helping a friend of a friend do some set up/programming of some AV stuff… And then writing instructions the folks could actually read and use (pretty bad when it took us an HOUR to figure the damn stuff out ourselves)…
Anyhoo, as I was levering my tired ass up off the floor for the umteenth time, I happened to look over the couch and what did I see? An old Red Ryder BB gun!
Anyhoo, as I was levering my tired ass up off the floor for the umteenth time, I happened to look over the couch and what did I see? An old Red Ryder BB gun!
After laughing at me ohing and ahing over it, we took it outside and shot it! It’s the one he got in 1943 and it still shoots!!!
The reason the butt stock is so much cleaner, is his grand-daughter was shooting it with strawberry jam all over her hands, so he had to do some serious cleaning 🙂 He said he’s going to get around to cleaning the forend too!
And then he said, “Well, if you like this one, lemme show ya what’s out here.”
We walked out into the garage, and he disappeared into the laundry room, I heard a creak of a safe opening, and it was kid in a candy store time!!!
Among other things (sorry lousy light and short time so no photos)-
A 1921 three digit serial number AH Fox 30in barrel duck gun in 12ga with Krupp barrels
A Winchester 97 pump shotgun in 12ga
A three digit serial number Remington Model 11 in 12ga (with original Polychoke), a four digit serial number Model 11 in 16ga
And 1886 Winchester in 44-40, along with a Gen 1 SAA (in an old El Paso Saddlery holster) that still had most of it’s case bluing, and showed only mild holster wear!
And one I can honestly say I’ve never seen…
A HRA .410 single shot that folded double! It had an indentation in the forend for the trigger guard, and he ‘thought’ it was from the mid-20s! He said his grandfather used to keep it and a box of mixed shells under the seat in the 36 Ford; and he wasn’t above getting out of the car to shoot a mess of geese or doves, or the occasional turkey!!!
Oh yeah, and he also still has the ’36 Ford sitting in his garage, while he restores it…
Quite the day, and I figure that was pretty good payback for helping them program that AV stuff… 🙂
Interesting little video… 🙂
And yes, we DID make it; in spite of those who say we all should have died because we were STOOPID and doing it RONG…
Sigh…
And in other news…
It was pretty much that kind of day yesterday…
Still waiting on a couple of responses, but thus far we have the following winners who have responded and claimed a prize of their choice.
A: Diamondback and custom holster by Michael, Kathy Jackson Book—
HeathB: ISSC .22 Trainer (Glock style), Kathy Jackson Book—Former Flyer
D: Ye olde Handgonne or knife winner’s choice, plus engraving, Kathy Jackson Book—Matt G
G: Stabby package- Gerber Applegate Fairbairn Combat Folder, Emerson CQC-7 Mini, Remington collector R1 Upland—Wilson
As the other folks respond, I’ll get the rest of the names up. Again MANY, MANY thanks to those who’ve donated/participated. You’ve shown that our little corner of the Intarwebz truly does step up and help our friends in need.
Folks, not trying to keep you in suspense, winners have been drawn, and emails are being sent. Once we get answers back from the winners on their choices, I’ll post the list.
Again sorry for the delay. And THANK YOU to all who’ve pitched in to help Tam. I was reminded by one of our international donors that we are doing the right thing for the right reasons…
He also sent this Bible verse, and while we cannot do this in total anonymity, he said we are following the ‘spirit’ of the verses… And I agree… The ONLY reason I’m out there on this is that I got elected chief cat-herder. Y’all that know me, KNOW this is not my normal mode of operation.
Matthew Ch-6 1-4 NIV
1 “Be careful not to practice your righteousness in front of others to be seen by them. If you do, you will have no reward from your Father in heaven.
2 “So when you give to the needy, do not announce it with trumpets, as the hypocrites do in the synagogues and on the streets, to be honored by others. Truly I tell you, they have received their reward in full.
3 But when you give to the needy, do not let your left hand know what your right hand is doing,
4 so that your giving may be in secret. Then your Father, who sees what is done in secret, will reward you.
Again, thank you!!!
THE GEOGRAPHY OF A WOMAN
Between 18 and 22, a woman is like Africa. Half discovered, half wild, fertile and naturally Beautiful!
Between 23 and 30, a woman is like Europe. Well developed and open to trade, especially for someone of real value.
Between 31 and 35, a woman is like Spain, very hot, relaxed and convinced of her own beauty.
Between 36 and 40, a woman is like Greece, gently aging but still a warm and desirable place to visit.
Between 41 and 50, a woman is like Great Britain,with a glorious and all conquering past.
Between 51 and 60, a woman is like Israel,has been through war, doesn’t make the same mistakes twice, takes care of business.
Between 61 and 70, a woman is like Canada, self-preserving, but open to meeting new people.
After 70, she becomes Tibet. Wildly beautiful, with a mysterious past and the wisdom of the ages. An adventurous spirit and a thirst for spiritual knowledge.
THE GEOGRAPHY OF A MAN
Between 1 and 80, a man is like Iran, ruled by the nuts.
THE END.
May you enjoy the day with family or friends as you can, eat plenty of turkey and then nap in front of the football game… 🙂
But take a moment to remember our Soldiers, Sailors, Airmen and Marines that are serving throughout the world.
Signs you ‘might’ be overdoing Thanksgiving…
* Paramedics bring in the Jaws of Life to pry you out of the EZ-Boy!
* The “Gravy Boat” your wife set out was a real 12′ boat!
* You receive a Sumo Wrestler application in your e-mail
* Friday you set off 3 earthquake seismographs on your morning jog.
* Pricking your finger for cholesterol screening only yielded gravy.
* A guest quotes a Biblical passage from “The Feeding of the 5000.”
* That rash on your stomach turns out to be steering wheel burn.
* Representatives from the Butterball Hall of Fame called twice.
* You consider gluttony your patriotic duty.
Y’all have a good one!
But take a moment to remember our Soldiers, Sailors, Airmen and Marines that are serving throughout the world.
Signs you ‘might’ be overdoing Thanksgiving…
* Paramedics bring in the Jaws of Life to pry you out of the EZ-Boy!
* The “Gravy Boat” your wife set out was a real 12′ boat!
* You receive a Sumo Wrestler application in your e-mail
* Friday you set off 3 earthquake seismographs on your morning jog.
* Pricking your finger for cholesterol screening only yielded gravy.
* A guest quotes a Biblical passage from “The Feeding of the 5000.”
* That rash on your stomach turns out to be steering wheel burn.
* Representatives from the Butterball Hall of Fame called twice.
* You consider gluttony your patriotic duty.
Y’all have a good one!
How to survive Thanksgiving at your liberal relatives…
by Joel B. Pollak
As a public service to our readers, and as a gesture towards civility in our national discourse, we offer the following how-to-guide for surviving Thanksgiving dinner at the home of your triumphant liberal relatives:
Arrival. “Your home looks lovely. Almost like it’s worth what you paid for it. Obama didn’t help with that yet, did he? Oh, well, maybe next term. May I use your bathroom?”
In the unlikely event that your host’s home has appreciated in value, use this introduction instead: “Love what you’ve done with it. Better dump it before the new year, though, or you might face that new Obamacare tax.” (Wait until after dinner to make a lowball offer.)
Greetings. “Oh, grandma, I’m so sorry about what Obama did to your Medicare. I tried to stop him.”
“Little Johnny, all grown up. Still looking for a job? Oh. There’s always grad school, you know. I hear Obama will pay your student loans.”
“Jane, you look amazing! I bet you’re the reason Obama promised free contraception.”
“Hey, kids, let’s watch some football. Whatever team Obama picked, that’s the one that’s going to lose. Ask Detroit.”
Grace. “I’m thankful that the war on women is finally over, and you accepted a racist like me back into your midst.”
“I’m thankful for Elizabeth Warren. Now that we have a Native American in the Senate, we can celebrate without feeling guilty anymore.”
“I’d like to take a moment to remember those four brave Americans who lost their lives because of an anti-Islamic video.”
“Blessed be Obama, from whom we enjoy this bountiful harvest.”
Meal. “No turkey for me, thanks. The poultry industry is a major contributor to global warming, and I can’t eat meat without thinking about how I caused Hurricane Sandy.”
“I’m not having cranberry sauce, either. So many of our cranberries today are imported from Poland, and they supported Mitt Romney, you know.”
“Have some more pumpkin pie, please. I promise not to tell Michelle Obama.”
“What, no more Twinkies this year?”
Departure. “I can’t believe it’s time to go already. Four hours and $600 million in national debt just flew by.”
“Gan en jie kuai le! That’s Happy Thanksgiving in Chinese. Might as well start learning.”
“Why don’t you come to our place next year. Seeing as how your taxes are going up in a few weeks, it’s only fair.”
“Sorry I parked you in. Oh, darn, I drove the Chevy Volt today. You wouldn’t have an extension cord, would you?”
Happy Thanksgiving to those of you who have to suffer through the holiday with liberal relatives ~ May I suggest a little Wild Turkey for the occasion?
Pretty good ones as far as I’m concerned… use as necessary! 🙂
Talked to Heath this morning, he is in fact putting his Combo into the mega raffle here…
Heath over at 18 wheels and a 1911 is added a sweet 20ga/.22 combo HERE. I’ve seen Heath’s guns and they are better cared for that mine, which is saying something!!!
The gun he is offering is a Savage 24 DL, .22 mag /20 GA. “The gun is flawless. It’s lived in a safe for as long as I’ve owned it, and as far as I can tell the previous owner never shot it. I’ve taken it out once, just because I don’t believe in owning guns I can’t shoot ( barring family wallhangers ).”
Dang, now I’m tempted to get in on my OWN raffle… 🙂
Heath over at 18 wheels and a 1911 is added a sweet 20ga/.22 combo HERE. I’ve seen Heath’s guns and they are better cared for that mine, which is saying something!!!
The gun he is offering is a Savage 24 DL, .22 mag /20 GA. “The gun is flawless. It’s lived in a safe for as long as I’ve owned it, and as far as I can tell the previous owner never shot it. I’ve taken it out once, just because I don’t believe in owning guns I can’t shoot ( barring family wallhangers ).”
Tickets are $25, same formula as the rest, just go put it in Tam’s tip jar, and send Jennifer the receipt
. It will now be item I.Dang, now I’m tempted to get in on my OWN raffle… 🙂