When insults had class…

These are simply too good to keep to myself…

When Insults Had Class

These glorious insults are from an era before a great portion of the English language got boiled down to 4-letter words, not to mention waving middle fingers.

The exchange between Churchill & Lady Astor: She said, ‘If you were my Husband I’d give you poison,’ and he said, ‘If you were my wife, I’d drink it.’

A member of Parliament to Disraeli: ‘Sir, you will either die on the Gallows or of some unspeakable disease.’ ‘That depends, Sir,’ said Disraeli, ‘on whether I embrace your policies or your mistress.’

‘He had delusions of adequacy.’ – Walter Kerr

‘He has all the virtues I dislike and none of the vices I admire.’ – Winston Churchill

‘A modest little person, with much to be modest about.’ – Winston Churchill

‘I have never killed a man, but I have read many obituaries with great pleasure.’ – Clarence Darrow

‘He has never been known to use a word that might send a reader to the Dictionary.’ – William Faulkner (about Ernest Hemingway). ‘Poor Faulkner. Does he really think big emotions come from big words?’ – Ernest Hemingway (about William Faulkner)

‘Thank you for sending me a copy of your book; I’ll waste no time Reading it.’- Moses Hadas

‘He can compress the most words into the smallest idea of any man I know.’ – Abraham Lincoln

‘I didn’t attend the funeral, but I sent a nice letter saying I approved of it.’ – Mark Twain

‘He has no enemies, but is intensely disliked by his friends.’ – Oscar Wilde

‘I am enclosing two tickets to the first night of my new play; bring a friend…. If you have one.’ – George Bernard Shaw to Winston Churchill
‘Cannot possibly attend first night, will attend second… If there is one.’ – Winston Churchill, in response.

‘I feel so miserable without you; it’s almost like having you here.’ – Stephen Bishop

‘He is a self-made man and worships his creator.’ – John Bright

‘I’ve just learned about his illness. Let’s hope it’s nothing trivial.’ – – Irvin S. Cobb

‘He is not only dull himself, he is the cause of dullness in others.’ – Samuel Johnson

‘He is simply a shiver looking for a spine to run up.’ – Paul Keating

‘There’s nothing wrong with you that reincarnation won’t cure.’ – Jack E. Leonard

‘He has the attention span of a lightning bolt.’ – Robert Redford

‘They never open their mouths without subtracting from the sum of human knowledge.’ – Thomas Brackett Reed

‘In order to avoid being called a flirt, she always yielded easily.’- Charles, Count Talleyrand

‘He loves nature in spite of what it did to him.’ – Forrest Tucker

‘Why do you sit there looking like an envelope without any address on it?’ – Mark Twain

‘His mother should have thrown him away and kept the stork.’ – Mae West

‘Some cause happiness wherever they go; others, whenever they go.’ – Oscar Wilde

‘He uses statistics as a drunken man uses lamp-posts.. . For support rather than illumination. ‘ – Andrew Lang (1844-1912)

‘He has Van Gogh’s ear for music.’ – Billy Wilder

‘I’ve had a perfectly wonderful evening but this wasn’t it.’ – Groucho Marx ‘

A patriot must always be ready to defend his country against his government.’ – Edward Abbey

10 more months of misery…

Gleeful pronuciation by one of the talking heads today, “It doesn’t look like the presidential nominees will be decided until the conventions.”

ARGHHHH!!!! NO….no…. whimper….

Reminder to self: Get Lexan screen for TV in case I decide to throw something at it…

Huh, just heard Hillbilly had to loan herself $5M a couple of months ago to continue her campaign. Wonder why it’s just now coming out? Is she getting a free pass on anything and everything? I thought you had to declare that stuff… Campaign finances and all that, ya know…

I really wonder what would happen if there was no bad news? Would the talking heads go silent???

If nobody voted, would there be an election? There would probably be the one asshat that didn’t get the word, and of course he would vote democrap 4200 times…

Anyhoo… The stock market is tanking, down again today, so my retirement nest egg has probably shrunk to about the size of a sperm! sigh…

An interesting commentary though, some analyst think the market jitters are primarily because neither party can make up it’s tiny assed mind on a candidate, so the market doesn’t know which way to jump. If it’s McCain, defense up; if it Hillbilly, health up. Since they are mutually exclusive, nobody does anything…

On a sad note, two more women were raped in the Arlington/Fairfax County area last night and this morning. Last night one woman was walking down a sidewalk, talking on her cell phone when attacked. The other one was in a apparently unlocked apartment.

Ladies, PLEASE, PLEASE pay attention to your surroundings! Earbuds, cellphones, etc. ARE ASKING FOR TROUBLE!!!!

If you are out by yourselves, please pay attention to your surroundings, look at people approaching you, look around often, especially in areas where there are alerts. If you have a carry permit, use it! If you are out walking in jogging clothes, use a fanny pack; they are cheap and while they may not match your outfit, they will carry whatever size pistol you choose.

At home, please lock your doors! Trusting your neighbors is one thing, but the random asshole off the street is something else.

Ladies, as much as I admire your independence and desire for equality, please take adequate measures and use common sense to protect yourselves. The police cannot be everywhere and protect everyone all the time.

Step away from the Television

Well the feeding frenzy is over for another year…

You- step away from the television- All the replays in the world won’t help you…

Yes, the hated Giants beat the even more hated Patriots. Now we have to listen to Miami (again) with their undefeated season claims… sigh…

I haven’t even read the sports page, cause I ‘know’ it’s full of the apologists for the Patriots and why they didn’t win; along with the other columnists who pronounce with great aplomb how the “called this six months ago…. BS…

It appears the sports bookies are the only ones who made out- something like 150+ THINGS you could bet on surrounding the game, one of which was an over/under on how long the girl singing the National Anthem would take (1:41 was the break point).

Speaking of which, I’m kinda glad the Patriots lost, when the anthem was playing, half of them were scratching their asses, and the other half were looking around the stands. At least the Giants had enough courage to salute properly.

What ever the Patriots coaches name is, he showed absoutely no class by leaving the field early. I guess that is typical of his behaviour though.

Now if the Cowboys could just get their act together.,. 🙂 Ah well, there is always a next year.

Nascar is back in two weeks, so at least there will be SOMETHING on TV worth watching… Baseball, basketball, soccer, fighting…er hockey… who cares…

Step away from the television, go out and actually DO something- Take a walk, go play sports yourself, go to the shooting range, but GET OUT OF THE #%^& HOUSE for awhile…

You may now resume your regularly scheduled political crap for the next 10 months… sigh…

What the #$%* over????

Now THIS is just plain ridiculous!!!!!

You can read the rest of the BS article in the Oakland Tribune

BERKELEY — Hey-hey, ho-ho, the Marines in Berkeley have got to go.

That’s the message from the Berkeley City Council, which voted 6-3, with Gordon Wozniak, Betty Olds and Kriss Worthington dissenting, to tell the Marines that its Shattuck Avenue recruiting station “is not welcome in the city, and if recruiters choose to stay, they do so as uninvited and unwelcome intruders.”

It also voted 7-2, with Wozniak and Olds dissenting, to explore enforcing its law prohibiting discrimination on the basis of sexual orientation against the Marines and to encourage the women’s peace group Code Pink to protest in front of the station.

In a separate item, the council voted 8-1 to give Code Pink a designated parking space in front of the recruiting station once a week for six months and a free sound permit for protesting once a week from noon to 4 p.m.

I can pretty much imagine the Commandant’s reaction- Plenty of expletives, closely followed by direction to ignore these idiots and their resolution. As far as I know, this kind of BS is still trumped by Federal Law, which DOES permit recruiting stations to locate pretty much anywhere they want to and are willing to pay rent.

It’s probably a good thing I’m not in Congress, cause I’d be looking at every %^*& penny going to Berkley and figuring out a way to get that funding cancelled…


What are these idiots smoking??? And can I get some??? Obliviously they don’t live in the real world with the rest of us!

The consider themselves to be better than us, more progressive, more everything, better… etc.

I’m beginning to wonder if there is a way to kick Kalifornia out of the US… Can we give it to Mexico? Yeah, yeah, that’s it, lets give it to Mexico! Then lets see how good they really are a dealing with the real world where free speech is NOT an option and government and law enforcement corruption is even more rampant than it already is in Kalifornia.

Cut off ALL Federal $$ going to the entire state, close all the bases, shut down the airports, close all the roads, set up border patrol stations at oh, maybe one or two locations- Say Truckee on the North and Needles on the South and tell those idiots to have a nice life…

I know, I know… If wishes were horses, beggars would be riding…

And my fifth Monday in a row was going SO well…

I’m about PC’ed out…

The quotes below just flat piss me off…

“Go back to Boston ! Go back to Plymouth Rock. Pilgrims! Get out! We are the future. You are old and tired. Go on. We have beaten you. Leave like beaten rats! You old white people…It is your duty to die. Through love of having children, we are going to take over. Augustin Cebada, Brown Berets.

“They’re afraid we’re going to take over the governmental institutions and other institutions. They’re right. We will take them over . . .we are here to stay!” Richard Alatorre, Los Angeles City Council.

“The American Southwest seems to be slowly returning to the jurisdiction of Mexico without firing a single shot.” Excelsior, the national newspaper of Mexico .”We have an aging white America . They are not making babies they are dying… The explosion is in our population. I love it. They are shitting in their pants with fear. I love it.” Professor Jose Angel Gutierrez, University of Texas .

“Remember 187–proposition to deny taxpayer funds for services to non-citizens–it was the last gasp of white America in California ” Art Torres, Chairman of the California Democratic Party.

“We are politicizing every single one of these new citizens that are becoming citizens of this country. I gotta tell you that a lot of people are saying, “I’m going to go out there and vote because I want to pay them back.” Gloria Molina, Los Angeles County Supervisor.

” California is going to be a Hispanic state. Anyone who doesn’t like it should leave.” Mario Obledo, California Coalition of Hispanic Organizations and California State Secretary of Health, Education and Welfare under Governor Jerry Brown, also awarded the Presidential Medal of Freedom by President Bill Clinton.

“We are practicing ‘La Reconquista’ in California ” Jose Pescador Osuna, Mexican Consul General. “We need to avoid a white backlash by using codes understood by Latinos.” Professor Fernando Guerra, Loyola Marymount University .

Try to pull the same crap in Mexico and see where you end up… If you’re LUCKY, you’ll only go to jail; if not, you’re dead!

Go look at Mexico’s Southern border- They have fences, guards, dogs, and they shoot first.

Why is it good enough for them, and not for us?

Political correctness is going to doom the US- The MSM and left wing loonies currently in positions of power in education in the US have forced us to kow tow to every minority, religious sect, cult, gay/bi/trans and what ever the hell else is out there. If you are white, Protestant, and from a good home, you are now the bad person to be railed against…

Of interest, it takes 2.3 children per family to maintain zero population growth- We are LOSING that battle…

One thing that needs to be changed immediately is that if at least ONE parent is not an American citizen, then any child born here is NOT automatically granted citizenship!!!

Can it be fixed? Yes… In 1954, Ike appointed retired Gen. Joseph “Jumpin’ Joe” Swing, a former West Point classmate and veteran of the 101st Airborne, as the new INS commissioner.

Influential politicians, including Sen. Lyndon B. Johnson (D) of Texas and Sen. Pat McCarran (D) of Nevada, favored open borders, and were dead set against strong border enforcement, Brownell said. But General Swing’s close connections to the president shielded him – and the Border Patrol – from meddling by powerful political and corporate interests.

One of Swing’s first decisive acts was to transfer certain entrenched immigration officials out of the border area to other regions of the country where their political connections with people such as Senator Johnson would have no effect.

Then on June 17, 1954, what was called “Operation Wetback” began. Because political resistance was lower in California and Arizona, the roundup of aliens began there. Some 750 agents swept northward through agricultural areas with a goal of 1,000 apprehensions a day. By the end of July, over 50,000 aliens were caught in the two states. Another 488,000, fearing arrest, had fled the country.

By mid-July, the crackdown extended northward into Utah, Nevada, and Idaho, and eastward to Texas.

By September, 80,000 had been taken into custody in Texas, and an estimated 500,000 to 700,000 illegals had left the Lone Star State voluntarily.
Unlike today, Mexicans caught in the roundup were not simply released at the border, where they could easily reenter the US. To discourage their return, Swing arranged for buses and trains to take many aliens deep within Mexico before being set free.

Tens of thousands more were put aboard two hired ships, the Emancipation and the Mercurio. The ships ferried the aliens from Port Isabel, Texas, to Vera Cruz, Mexico, more than 500 miles south.

The sea voyage was “a rough trip, and they did not like it,” says Don Coppock, who worked his way up from Border Patrolman in 1941 to eventually head the Border Patrol from 1960 to 1973.

Mr. Coppock says he “cannot understand why [President] Bush let [today’s] problem get away from him as it has. I guess it was his compassionate conservatism, and trying to please [Mexican President] Vincente Fox.”

There are now said to be 12 million to 20 million illegal aliens in the US. Of the Mexicans who live here, an estimated 85 percent are here illegally.

It was done once, it can be done again-

If Hillary or Obama get in, we might as well pack a bag and go live somewhere else, or learn Spanish… I fear that will be our only choice, because they will cater to all the fringes out there…

Self Defense

Folks, Lawdog has a GREAT post up on self defense. Take a couple of minutes to go read and reflect…

Having been the victim of two break-ins, one in Hawaii and one in California, I am here to tell you that perps DO NOT like being met by an armed and pissed off individual. Both times the perps were armed, once with a knife, once with a gun. In both cases I used a shotgun for defense (never had to fire Thank God); and both perps were yelling for me not to kill them…

I am a firm believer in armed self defense and practice that on a daily basis.

Don’t try this at home…

Have you ever done something that you just ‘knew’ wasn’t a good idea???

Well, this was one of those aw &*$% deals… No notice sightseeing in Italy!

My running mate decided at the last minute we needed to go see the Leaning Tower of Pisa, since we were driving back into Pisa to fly out to the states. It was about 1630, so we had maybe 30 minutes of light left. We had just found the hotel, so he runs in to get directions- My map of Northern Italy didn’t have anything but major and semi-major roads, so no joy there…

Out he comes, “Well, they said go left out of the hotel, go straight on Via Aurleia and we’ll see it in about 5 minutes on the left.”


Note to self- When it seems too easy, it usually is… especially in a foreign country…

Misgivings aside, off we go! 5 minutes nothing, 10 minutes nothing, 15 minutes a dome and what looks like the top of a tower! Meanwhile, I’ve made two left turns off main roads to try to keep going ‘straight’. Another couple of minutes, sure enough, there it is off to our left; now how to get there?

Now mind you, this is in rush hour traffic in Pisa, where they turn two lane streets into four or five lanes (if they use the sidewalk), I finally manage to turn left and left again, and we are heading back toward the plaza, but the street is getting narrower and narrower; not good…

Finally about a block from the plaza, I see a space on the sidewalk, so we park there are run down to the plaza; yep, this is it! Leaning Tower, Church, and a few other buildings. Take the obligitory pictures, walk around for a few minutes and explore the schlock shops that surround the place (you can get just about anything that is tied to the location in these places, just bring cash money)!

Now comes the fun part- Getting out of here back to the hotel- The map is absolutely NO help. Since the car is half way blocked in, it takes about 10 back and fills to get off the sidewalk, and back into the so called street…

A half block down we turn right into an even narrower street, pull in the mirrors, and hope to hell I don’t put any scratches on the car as I inch through the slolom of randomly parked cars. About a block and a half of that, and at least a two lane (more or less) street, but one way in the wrong direction. Oh well, at least I can move on this street. At this point, I know I need to go right, but for four or five blocks, all the streets and alleys seem to be one way coming onto the street we are on.

We finally find a bigger street, turn right and actually have two way traffic! We’re moving up in the world!!! Oops, now we’re crossing a bridge- I don’t remember a bridge; do you remember a bridge? Noooo….

Okayyyyy Now it is dark, so I can’t even use the sun to navigate by… I figure I have to get back across that bridge or another one to get back to Via Aureila so we start trying to get turned around, and manage to do so literally!!!

Finally stop at a bar and ask directions; no English, mutiple hand waves, a conference and a hand drawn map on a napkin yields a best guess for Via Aurelia. An expresso later (just to calm the nerves), and off we go again…

This is NOT looking any better, oh wait, a sign for A12 (the major highway), u-turn in the middle of the street, take the side streets and finally pop back out at the A12. Yeah!!! Now, where the hell are we???

Follow the signs for Pisa, and we find out we have gone from 10 klicks North of Pisa completly around to about 20 klicks SOUTH of Pisa.

For reference, the A12 is a toll road, two lanes, 110klick speed limit; we are doing about 130k, in the slow lane, passing the multiple trucks and little Fiats and trying not to get run over by the BMWs, Audis, and big Mercedes that are running 220k plus!

At one point, I am trying to pass a bus, which starts passing a truck, which is passing a little Fiat, when an Audi comes blowing up behind me and tries to pass me between the guard rail (maybe 4 feet wide) while flashing his brights and honking his horn…

At this point my running mate is whimpering in terror, vowing never to get back in the car with me, and saying he just wants to live to get home…

Finally we get past everybody and get off the A12 and back to the hotel- It only took 2 1/2 hours to make the trip…

Don’t try this at home, and sure as hell don’t try it overseas; unless you have LOTS of time to kill 🙂

Dazed and Confused…

Some days it just doesn’t pay to stumble out of bed after not nearly enough sleep… I go to get dressed and no %^&* socks! After paying $34US for a lousy breakfast buffet, my running mate informs me not only is his computer down for the count, now his Crackberry has rolled over and died… Just lovely, now I’m the sole point of contact!

We go off to try to find the place where we are having the meeting tomorrow, promptly get lost, end up riding around the port area for 30 minutes hitting dead end streets, fences etc. that stuff definitely wasn’t here in 1991. For a former Submarine commander, he can’t navigate worth a damn…

We finally find the location, get through security, get in the front door, only to find our POC is off today… Oh well…

Trip planning 101- use checklist to pack bag, pick time when it is NOT a religious holiday in the country one is visiting…

My running mate wants to go to the mall and see if he can get a battery for his Crackberry, so he decides to navigate- BAD choice AGAIN! He’s running me down streets that are getting smaller and smaller, into worse and worse neighborhoods till we hit an intersection with cops who are stopping every car. They get real nervous when they see us, and tell us to turn around immediately and leave; they even block traffic for us!!! Oh crap…

Finally get out of that section of town, actually find the Oil Museum; it’s closed again, so for the second time I don’t get to go in and see if there are any pictures of my Dad in there- He worked over here when they first discovered oil in this part of the world. We decide to drive out and see the Tree of Life, it’s an old mesquite tree that is the only thing alive in this one particular area of the island. Where or how it gets water to survive is unknown, as this area is basically a desert. Now MY camera is on the fritz… What is going on with the electronics today?

A couple more wrong turns, we finally find the mall, only to find it’s closed! Religious holiday (and serious security at the parking lot entrance (can we say guards with guns?), guards say it’s a national holiday. Back to the hotel…

Okay lunch- Hmmm, only place to eat is the hotel- Ah, no thanks I’ll pass on the Camel burger (yes there really IS a camel burger on the menu for 7 Dinars), can I have a Coke and the Arabic appetizer?

It really wasn’t bad, I just have no clue other than the Grape leaves and Nan, what the heck I just ate… Kinda looked like Guacamole wrapped in something and fried, I think…

It’s now 1500 local time, I can barely keep my eyes open, and I just realized our flight out of here really IS at 0225 in the morning Monday… That’s gonna hurt!

Just to add to the weirdness factor, I’m flipping through the TV channels, and find Discovery Science, however, it’s in German with English sub-titles, but the commercials are in English! Now the next segment is in English, with Arabic sub-titles. Now I’m totally confused…

An acquaintance came over from Saudi for dinner, so we did a little driving around with him. Went out to the Ritz for a drink (can we say EXPENSIVE!!!) and ended up at a Thai restaurant for dinner, which I know I’m going to pay for in the morning.

These folks are just getting wound up to start the night and all I can think about is that bed calling my name…

I think I’m gonna answer it…

Friends- a funny comparison

CIVILIAN FRIENDS: Get upset if you’re too busy to talk to them for a week.
MILITARY FRIENDS: Are glad to see you after years, and will happily carry on the same conversation you were having then last time you met.

CIVILIAN FRIENDS: Never ask for food.
MILITARY FRIENDS: Are the reason you have no food.

CIVILIAN FRIENDS: Call your parents Mr. And Mrs.
MILITARY FRIENDS: Call your parents mom and dad.

CIVILIAN FRIENDS: Bail you out of jail and tell you what you did was wrong.
MILITARY FRIENDS: Would be sitting next to you saying,”Damn…we screwed up…but man that was fun!”

CIVILIAN FRIENDS: Have never seen you cry.

CIVILIAN FRIENDS: Borrow your stuff for a few days then give it back.
MILI TARY FRIENDS: Keep your stuff so long they forget it’s yours.

CIVILIAN FRIENDS: Know a few things about you.
MILITARY FRIENDS: Could write a book with direct quotes from you.

CIVILIAN FRIENDS: Will leave you behind if that’s what the crowd is doing.
MILITARY FRIENDS: Will kick the whole crowd’s ass that left you behind.

CIVILIAN FRIENDS: Would knock on your door.
MILITARY FRIENDS: Walk right in and say, “I’m home!”

CIVILIAN FRIENDS: Are for a while.

CIVILIAN FRIENDS: Have shared a few experiences…
MILITARY FRIENDS: Have shared a lifetime of experiences no Civilian could ever dream of…

CIVILIAN FRIENDS: Will take your drink away when they think you’ve had enough. MILITARY FRIENDS: Will look at you stumbling all overthe place and say, “You better drink the rest of that, you know we don’t waste…that’s alcohol abuse!!” Then carry you home safely and put you to bed…

CIVILIAN FRIENDS: Will talk crap to the person who talks crap about you.
MILITARY FRIENDS: Will knock them the hell out for using your callsign in vain.

CIVILIAN FRIENDS: Will ignore this.
MILITARY FRIENDS: Will forward this.

And ya know, with a few notable exceptions in my life, this is pretty much true… sigh…

My retirement job

This is what I want to do when I retire to Hawaii…

I want to be the guy that grooms the beach! Great working hours- 0200-0700, no pressure, no bosses!

Just ride around on my little tractor and groom the beach on Wakiki…

Be done by 0700 and on the golf course by 0800; yeah, yeah, that’ll work 🙂

Hmmm, now I just have to marry someone rich enough to actually afford to LIVE in Hawaii…

Since we are six days into this trip, I was asked how my body clock was holding up. I think it’s on permanent snooze at this point; I don’t know which end is up! Of course the Friday night fireworks (real fireworks on the beach at Wakiki) outside the window last night just after I got to sleep didn’t help. Talk about a RUDE awakening!

It’s now 1900 and I’m craving breakfast, this morning I was wanting a steak… Since we are having our one good meal of the trip night, I guess I’ll get a steak tonight and hope I want eggs in the morning.

A little bit of history- Anybody want to take a guess at what this is???
It is being refurbished to be part of a museum-
It’s the original WWII control tower at Ford Island, Hawaii. It is going to be refurbished as part of the new museum at Ford Island. They promised NOT to patch the bullet holes.
Seriously folks, if you get out this way, take time to see Pearl Harbor, the USS Arizona, The new Olkahoma Memorial and the USS Missouri and WWII museum at Ford Island. This is an eye opening set of places and history that is very important in our country. Sadly, soon we will not have any WWII Veterans left who were actually there.