The Week AFTER Christmas…

‘Twas the week after Christmas, and all through the house
Nothing would fit me, not even a blouse.
The cookies I’d nibbled, the eggnog I’d taste
At the holiday parties had gone to my waist.

When I got on the scales there arose such a number!
When I walked to the store (less a walk than a lumber).

I’d remember the marvelous meals I’d prepared;
The gravies and sauces and beef nicely rared,

The wine and the rum balls, the bread and the cheese
And the way I’d never said, “No thank you, please.”

As I dressed myself in my husband’s old shirt
And prepared once again to do battle with dirt—

I said to myself, as I only can
“You can’t spend a winter disguised as a man!”

So–away with the last of the sour cream dip,
Get rid of the fruit cake, every cracker and chip

Every last bit of food that I like must be banished
“Till all the additional ounces have vanished.

I won’t have a cookie–not even a lick.
I’ll want only to chew on a long celery stick.

I won’t have hot biscuits, or corn bread, or pie,
I’ll munch on a carrot and quietly cry.

I’m hungry, I’m lonesome, and life is a bore—
But isn’t that what January is for?

Unable to giggle, no longer a riot.
Happy New Year to all and to all a good diet!


Author unknown (at least to me)

But based on the amount of food consumed, AND the amount left over, this is pretty much true!!!

Merry Christmas…

Where ever you may be, I wish each and every one a Merry Christmas, or the greeting of your faith…

And best wishes for 2010!

Twas the night before Christmas…

Please take a moment to remember our service men and women serving far from home this year…

A SOLDIER’S CHRISTMAS
Michael Marks

The embers glowed softly, and in their dim light,
I gazed round the room and I cherished the sight.
My wife was asleep, her head on my chest,
My daughter beside me, angelic in rest.

Outside the snow fell, a blanket of white,
Transforming the yard to a winter delight;
The sparkling lights in the tree, I believe,
Completed the magic that was Christmas Eve.

My eyelids were heavy, my breathing was deep,
Secure and surrounded by love I would sleep
In perfect contentment, or so it would seem.
So I slumbered, perhaps I started to dream.

The sound wasn’t loud, and it wasn’t too near,
But I opened my eye when it tickled my ear.
Perhaps just a cough, I didn’t quite know,
Then the sure sound of footsteps outside in the snow.

My soul gave a tremble, I struggled to hear,
And I crept to the door just to see who was near.
Standing out in the cold and the dark of the night,
A lone figure stood; his face weary and tight.

A soldier, I puzzled, some twenty years old
Perhaps a Marine, huddled here in the cold.
Alone in the dark, he looked up and smiled,
Standing watch over me, and my wife and my child.

“What are you doing?” I asked without fear
“Come in this moment, it’s freezing out here!
Put down your pack, brush the snow from your sleeve,
You should be at home on a cold Christmas Eve!”

For barely a moment I saw his eyes shift,
Away from the cold and the snow blown in drifts,
To the window that danced with a warm fire’s light
Then he sighed and he said, “It’s really all right,
I’m out here by choice. I’m here every night”

“It’s my duty to stand at the front of the line
That separates you from the darkest of times.
No one had to ask or beg or implore me,
I’m proud to stand here like my fathers before me.

My Gramps died at ‘Pearl on a day in December,”
Then he sighed, “That’s a Christmas ‘Gram always remembers.”
My dad stood his watch in the jungles of ‘Nam
And now it is my turn and so, here I am.

I’ve not seen my own son in more than a while,
But my wife sends me pictures, he’s sure got her smile.
Then he bent and he carefully pulled from his bag,
The red white and blue… an American flag.

“I can live through the cold and the being alone,
Away from my family, my house and my home,
I can stand at my post through the rain and the sleet,
I can sleep in a foxhole with little to eat,
I can carry the weight of killing another
Or lay down my life with my sisters and brothers
Who stand at the front against any and all,
To insure for all time that this flag will not fall.”

“So go back inside,” he said, “harbor no fright
Your family is waiting and I’ll be all right.”
“But isn’t there something I can do, at the least,
“Give you money,” I asked, “or prepare you a feast?
It seems all too little for all that you’ve done,
For being away from your wife and your son.”

Then his eye welled a tear that held no regret,
“Just tell us you love us, and never forget
To fight for our rights back at home while we’re gone;
To stand your own watch, no matter how long.

For when we come home, either standing or dead,
To know you remember we fought and we bled
Is payment enough, and with that we will trust.
That we mattered to you as you mattered to us.”

Written by Michael Marks- Thank you Sir, for a beautiful Poem…

If you go to this web site, http://www.letssaythanks.com/ you can pick out a thank you card and Xerox will print it and it will be sent to a soldier, sailor, airman, or marine that is currently serving overseas.

You can’t pick out who gets it, but it will go to a member of the armed services.

How wonderful it would be if everyone sent one!!!

It is FREE and it only takes a moment.

Wouldn’t it be sensational if the soldiers, sailors and airmen received a bunch of these? I will tell you, this time of the year, and ANYTIME cards are appreciated.

BTDT…

This takes just 30 seconds and it’s an easy way to say “thank you.”

Please take the time to send a card, we can never say enough “thank you’s.”

Thanks for taking to time to support our military!

Globull Warming My Ass…

THIS is as of 0900 this morning at my house…

Measured 12 inches since midnight, by 1300 it was 15 inches and it’s STILL snowing!

sigh…

I’m too old to be out shovelling snow, and of course NONE of the neighborhood kids want to earn any money…

All us old farts were out and jokingly, kinda sorta, decided we needed a 55 gal barrel fire in the middle of the street just to warm up to…

In other news, it appears the Dems bought Sen Nelson’s vote…

Hey Senator, what was the size of YOUR Bribe???

Bet it was higher than sleazebag Landrieu… $500 Mil, or higher???

Inquiring minds want to know!!!

The sad part of this snowfall, is the merchants are the ones that will suffer, as this is one of the biggest shopping weekends of the year, and at least here in the NOVA, DC area only fools are getting out today unless it is an emergency.

IF you’ve gotta shovel, remember- Good body position, take regular breaks, don’t try to do too much… Thankfully this is light fluffy snow, not the ‘heart attack’ snow…

Now back to your regularly scheduled shovelling…

Sometimes you just have to laugh…

Well, since Gun Toting Seagull ‘stole’ my post, I had to dig up something else…

Sent by a friend up in PA…


This is the pull off SR 61 and Adamsdale Rd. in Shuylkill Haven.
The deer was hit there.
The couch was dumped there previously.
Day two the deer was on the couch.
Day three the end table and lamp showed up.
Day four the TV and TV stand showed up.


And then everybody started taking pictures… Read the sign too!

The Trooper had to call PENN DOT and wait because of all the people stopping to take pictures. I LOVE SCHUYLKILL COUNTY!!!!

Hmmm, THIS is Interesting…

Y’all can draw your own conclusions…

United Airlines Flight 227 Passengers Removed, Deja Vu?


UAL Flight 227 DEN-LAX 12-10-09

h/t Rick

Questions that may never be answered…

I was going to post about the unreality of the political mess in DC, but then I figured I’d just be wasting my time and yours…

So a little humor to brighten you day (I Hope)!

Questions That May Never Be Answered

If a parsley farmer is sued, can they garnish his wages?
Would a fly without wings be called a walk?
Can you be a closet claustrophobic?
If the funeral procession is at night, do folks drive with their lights off?
If a stealth bomber crashes in a forest, will it make a sound?
When it rains, why don’t sheep shrink?
If the cops arrest a mime, do they tell her she has the right to remain silent?
Why is the word abbreviation so long?
If a book about failures doesn’t sell, is it a success?
Do cemetery workers prefer the graveyard shift?
What do you do when you discover an endangered animal that eats only endangered plants?
Do hungry crows have ravenous appetites?
Is it possible to be totally partial?
What’s another word for thesaurus?
When companies ship Styrofoam, what do they pack it in?
If it’s tourist season, why can’t we shoot them?
Why do they sterilize the needles for lethal injections?
Why is there an expiration date on my sour cream?
Why do kamikaze pilots wear helmets?
How do you know when it’s time to tune your bagpipes?
Is it true that cannibals don’t eat clowns because they taste funny?
When you choke a smurf, what color does it turn?
Do they have reserved parking for non-handicap people at the Special Olympics?
Why do they call it a TV set when you only get one?
Do radioactive cats have 18 half-lives?
If you shoot a mime, should you use a silencer?
What was the best thing before sliced bread?
How can they tell that twin lobsters are really twins?
How does a thermos know when to keep something hot, hot…and something cold, cold?
What is the speed of dark?
Why are there Braille signs on drive-up ATM’s?
If women wear a pair of pants, a pair of glasses, and a pair of earrings ,why don’t they wear a pair of bras?
How come you never hear about gruntled employees?
What is a “free” gift? Aren’t all gifts free?
After eating, do amphibians have to wait one hour before getting out of the water?
If white wine goes with fish, do white grapes go with sushi?
What’s another word for synonym?
If someone with multiple personalities threatens to kill himself, is it considered a hostage situation?
When sign makers go on strike, what is written on their picket signs?
Where do forest rangers go to “get away from it all”?
Why isn’t there mouse-flavored cat food?
Why are builders afraid to have a 13th floor but book publishers aren’t afraid to have a Chapter 11?
How can there be self-help groups?
Why do you need a driver’s license to buy liquor when you can’t drink and drive?
Why are cigarettes sold in gas stations when smoking is prohibited there?
If a cow laughed, would milk come out her nose?
Why is it that when you transport something by car, its called a shipment, but when you transport something by ship, its called cargo?
Why do we play in recitals and recite in plays?
Why isn’t phonetic spelled the way it sounds?
Where are Preparations A through G?
Are there seeing eye humans for blind dogs?
If knees were backwards, what would chairs look like?
When your pet bird sees you reading the newspaper, does she wonder why you’re just sitting there, staring at carpeting?
What happened to the first 6 “ups”?
If an orange is orange, why isn’t a lime called a green or a lemon called a yellow?
Why does your nose run, and your feet smell?
If olive oil comes from olives, where does baby oil come from?

The Right to Keep and Bear Arms…


Mule Dung has an outstanding post, with citations up on his blog Mule Dung and Ash. It is well worth your time to drop by and take a few minutes…

And in a follow-up, since I got an email asking how the REST of the week went…

Not only was the hotel on the opposite side of Austin from where we needed to be, it was LOUSY… No coffee, no breakfast (it gets pretty bad when I VOLUNTARILY go to McDonalds), and lukewarm water. And we had to get up O.M.G early to beat traffic…

Sooooo… We finally get where we are supposed to be, only to find out the boss is NOT on the visit list (trust me, this ain’t good)…

Once that ‘little’ issue was fixed, we have our meeting, only to find out we have effectively sunk to a new low in levels of success; .00052% success rate for the particular thing we were working on…

As they say, and THEN the fight started; and went on for the rest of the day. So we finally leave lovely Austin in the middle of rush hour, heading back to Dallas…

Four and a half hours later, we make it; after being run in the ditch by a woman texting while trying (obviously not well) to drive…

Better hotel, late Mexican dinner (La Fenix is GOOD!) and back to the airport Friday am.

As usual this time of year, flights are running late, so we are now three hours early, sit, wait, run the computer battery down; finally get on, end up with a window seat and 400lb asshole sitting next to me… sigh…

At least it was only for 2+00 enroute (good tailwinds), so I spent most of the flight in the back with the flight attendants.

We actually landed more or less on time, only problem was, a late departure was in our gate, so off to the A-gates we went…

And pulled in at the same time two RJs did, so they got parked first, then we got parked, but since we’re an E170, now we get to wait on a ladder, and wait… and wait… 30 minutes later a ladder FINALLY shows up.

And it’s off to baggage claim… another 25 minutes (they unloaded the two RJs first).

And off I go, until I get to 495; it takes me an hour and 20 minutes to go a total of 12 miles! I just ‘love’ DC rush hour traffic… NOT!!!

So I finally get home, throw a TV dinner in the microwave, and the @$&* microwave died!

I quit and went to bed…