A little humor to start the week…

Posted on by June 17, 2023

All Puns Intended

1. Two antennas met on a roof … fell in love and got married. The ceremony wasn’t much … but the reception was excellent.

2. A jumper cable walks into a bar. The bartender says … “I’ll serve you … but don’t start anything.”

3. Two peanuts walk into a bar … and one was a salted.

4. A dyslexic man walked into a bra.

5. A man walks into a bar with a slab of asphalt under his arm … and says: “A beer please … and one for the road.”

6. Two cannibals are eating a clown. One says to the other: “Does this taste funny to you?”

7. “Doc … I can’t stop singing The Green, Green Grass of Home.”
“That sounds like Tom Jones Syndrome.”
“Is it common?”
“Well … It’s Not Unusual.”

8. Two cows are standing next to each other in a field. Daisy says to Dolly … “I was artificially inseminated this morning.”
“I don’t believe you,” says Dolly. “It’s true; no bull!” exclaims Daisy.

9. An invisible man marries an invisible woman. The kids were nothing to look at either.

10. Deja Moo: The feeling that you’ve heard this bull before.

11. I went to buy some camouflage trousers the other day … but I couldn’t find any.

12. A man woke up in a hospital after a serious accident. He shouted … “Doctor, doctor, I can’t feel my legs! “The doctor replied, “I know … I amputated your arms!”

13. I went to a seafood disco last week… and pulled a mussel..

14. What do you call a fish with no eyes? A fsh.

15. Two fish swim into a concrete wall. The one turns to the other and says … “Dam!”

16. Two Eskimos sitting in a kayak were chilly … so they lit a fire in the craft. Not surprisingly it sank … proving once again that you can’t have your kayak and heat it too.

17. A group of chess enthusiasts checked into a hotel … and were standing in the lobby discussing their recent tournament victories. After about an hour … the manager came out of the office … and asked them to disperse. “But why,” they asked … as they moved off.
“Because,” he said. “I can’t stand chess-nuts boasting in an open foyer.”

18. A woman has twins … and gives them up for adoption. One of them goes to a family in Egypt … and is named ‘Ahmal.’ The other goes to a family in Spain … they name him ‘Juan.’ Years later …
Juan sends a picture of himself to his birth mother. Upon receiving the picture … she tells her husband that she wishes she also had a picture of Ahmal. Her husband responds … “They’re twins! If you’ve seen Juan … you’ve seen Ahmal.”

19. Mahatma Gandhi … as you know … walked barefoot most of the time … which produced an impressive set of calluses on his feet. He also ate very little … which made him rather frail and with his odd diet … he suffered from bad breath. This made him (oh … man … this is so bad … it’s good) … a super-calloused fragile mystic hexed by halitosis.

20. A dwarf … who was a mystic … escaped from jail. The call went out that there was a small medium at large.

A win!!!

Posted on by June 17, 2023

For the little guys!!!

The U.S. Court of Appeals for the D.C. Circuit ruled Friday that the National Marine Fisheries Service (NMFS) had no legal basis to rely on pessimistic statistical models to justify imposing costly federal regulations onto fisheries and lobstermen.

The court held in its decision that the NMFS “was egregiously wrong” in its interpretation of the Endangered Species Act (ESA) which would have enabled the agency to impose costly regulations on lobstermen in order to protect endangered whales.

Full article, HERE, from Daily Caller.

This is a serious loss for the econazis, as they’ve been trying for years to put the lobstermen out of business, and this would have done it. Now, that’s gone. What has been ‘alleged’ is that Right Whales were getting ‘trapped’ in lobster trap lines, but there hasn’t been an actual proven occurrence of a whale dying due to being ‘trapped’ in lobster gear.

The one incident being bandied about by the left is Argo, a Right Whale that made it to Florida with a couple of lobster traps from off Nova Scotia around its tail. He was freed, and swam off.

The Maine Lobster Association has been working for years to make their gear safer, allowing whales to safely pass through their fisheries. HERE is a link to WHOI’s design of a new retrieval system currently being used.

Of note- Strict federal and state laws prohibit lobster fishing in Atlantic waters when a right whale is sighted in the vicinity, normally knocking three months off the fishing season every year.

Sigh…

Posted on by June 16, 2023

Don’t pet the fluffy yeet cows!!!

Actual handouts by the NPS and the idjits STILL try it…

Oh well, Darwin needs more ‘contestants’…

Y’all have a good weekend!!!

YGTBSM!!!

Posted on by June 15, 2023

Welp, the ‘View’ is at it again…

This writer regrets to inform you that the co-hosts of ABC’s “The View” are back to their armchair governing, this time proposing a new amendment to the United States Constitution to remedy what they see as a threat to the country.

“What really is starting to freak me out is the idea that we’re not even discussing changing the Constitution to make it say you cannot be in jail and be the president,” Whoopi Goldberg said, referring to the federal indictment of former President Donald Trump who continues to lead the field of 2024 Republican presidential candidates, ignoring the presumption of innocence and assuming both that Trump will be convicted and sentenced to serve time and win the 2024 election.

Full article, HERE from PJ Media.

I have to wonder if they have ANY understand of anything outside their cloistered little world…

They obviously don’t live outside the hard left enclave that slavishly supports the hard left/Dem/woke world view. And they sure as hell don’t ever travel to flyover country. The problem is, they have a platform and megaphone to espouse exactly what their handlers want them to say.

I just hope the folks are actually stopping and thinking about what is going on, and the split that is getting worse and worse every day.

I REALLY don’t want to do interesting times again.

Sigh…

Oopsie…

Posted on by June 14, 2023

Seems that Starbucks pandering to the masses bit them in the ass…

A white Starbucks manager who was fired after two black men were refused access to a Philadelphia store bathroom — triggering nationwide racial protests — has been awarded $25 million by a federal jury after she argued she was axed because of her race.

Full article HERE from the NY Post.

I find it interesting that she had nothing to do with the cops being called, and was a higher level manager, and the ONLY one to suffer any ‘punishment’.

$600,000 compensatory and $25,000,000 in punitive damages is going to leave a mark.  And since this was a federal suit, Starbucks will probably lose on appeal, and drag it out as long as possible, but I’m betting this one falls off the news with a quickness!

Ramirez…

Posted on by June 13, 2023

For the win!

The dictomony being pushed down our throats right now… And I would add, can’t own a gun either…

Just like with Big Pharma, follow the money, that will tell you ‘who’ is really driving this agenda, and what the real agenda is, is putting money in their pockets.

Interesting…

Posted on by June 12, 2023

Truth, maybe???

Scientists in Wuhan working alongside the Chinese military were combining the world’s most deadly coronaviruses to create a new mutant virus just as the pandemic began.

Investigators who scrutinised top-secret intercepted communications and scientific research believe Chinese scientists were running a covert project of dangerous experiments, which caused a leak from the Wuhan Institute of Virology and started the Covid-19 outbreak.

The US investigators say one of the reasons there is no published information on the work is because it was done in collaboration with researchers from the Chinese military, which was funding it and which, they say, was pursuing bioweapons.

Full article, HERE from the Times, London. And another copy HERE from the Hindustan Times.

I find it curious that NONE of this is getting any coverage by the MSM here. Strange that… Somebody driving the ‘agenda’ again?

Points to ponder…

Posted on by June 11, 2023

In the line at the store, the cashier told the older woman that plastic bags weren’t good for the environment. The woman apologized to her and explained, “We didn’t have the green thing back in my day.”

That’s right, they didn’t have the green thing in her day. Back then, they returned their milk bottles, Coke bottles and beer bottles to the store. The store sent them back to the plant to be washed and sterilized and refilled, using the same bottles over and over. So they really were  recycled.

But they didn’t have the green thing back her day.

In her day, they walked up stairs, because they didn’t have an escalator in every store and office building. They walked to the grocery store and didn’t climb into a 300-horsepower machine every time they had to go two blocks.

But she’s right. They didn’t have the green thing in her day.

Back then, they washed the baby’s diapers because they didn’t have the throw-away kind. They dried clothes on a line, not in an energy gobbling machine burning up 220 volts – wind and solar power really did dry the clothes. Kids got hand-me-down clothes from their brothers or sisters, not always brand-new clothing.

But that old lady is right, they didn’t have the green thing back in her day.

Back then, they had one TV, or radio, in the house – not a TV in every room. And the TV had a small screen the size of a pizza dish, not a screen the size of the state of Montana. In the kitchen, they blended and stirred by hand because they didn’t have electric machines to do everything for you. When they packaged a fragile item to send in the mail, they used wadded up newspaper to cushion it, not Styrofoam or plastic bubble wrap.

Back then, they didn’t fire up an engine and burn gasoline just to cut the lawn. They used a push mower that ran on human power. They exercised by working so they didn’t need to go to a health club to run on treadmills that operate on electricity.

But she’s right, they didn’t have the green thing back then.

They drank from a fountain when they were thirsty, instead of using a cup or a plastic bottle every time they had a drink of water. They refilled pens with ink, instead of buying a new pen, and they replaced the razor blades in a razor instead of throwing away the whole razor just because the blade got dull.

But they didn’t have the green thing back then.

Back then, people took the streetcar and kids rode their bikes to school or rode the school bus, instead of turning their moms into a 24-hour taxi service. They had one electrical outlet in a room, not an entire bank of sockets to power a dozen appliances. And they didn’t need a computerized gadget to receive a signal beamed from satellites 2,000 miles out in space in order to find the nearest pizza joint.

But they didn’t have the green thing back then!

Issues with Amazon…

Posted on by June 10, 2023

If you’re an Indie publisher through Amazon, the price of Print on Demand (POD) is going up next week.

It behooves you to go in and check your pricing to make sure you’re not losing money, especially if you use expanded distribution that allows bookstores to get copies.

FWIW, I did the ‘automated’ update of all pricing and noted some rather ‘interesting’ things…

All of my The Grey Man series lost their categories, along with All territories (worldwide rights) being deselected on most of them and being reset to US only.

The next ‘issue’ was that with the POD price increase coming, I was literally going to lose money on the books in expanded distribution! As I said, I did the auto update and even with the automatic price increase, IF the expanded distribution was still selected, the books were making anywhere from $.03 to $.14!!!

So, I ended up raising the prices by an average of about $.60 per book, just so I get a few pennies more on the expanded distribution!

The other books weren’t quite as bad, but both Rimworld and the Bell Chronicles had issues with territories being deselected, pricing issues, and deselection from expanded distribution.

Talked with John Van Stry at supper last night, and he’s been dealing with the category issues also.

So what I’m saying is… GO CHECK YOUR BOOKS!

Sigh…

Words…

Posted on by June 9, 2023

UP   
 
This two-letter word in English has more meanings than any other two-letter word, and that word is ‘UP.’  It is listed in the dictionary as an [adv.], [prep.], [adj.], [n] or [v].

It’s easy to understand UP, meaning toward the sky or at the top of the list, but when we awaken in the morning, why do we wake UP?

At a meeting, why does a topic come UP?  Why do we speak UP, and why are the officers UP for election and why is it UP to the secretary to write UP a report?  We call UP our friends, brighten UP a room, polish UP the silver, warm UP the leftovers and clean UP the kitchen.  We lock UP the house and fix UP the old car.

At other times, this little word has a real special meaning.   People stir UP trouble, line UP for tickets, work UP an appetite, and think UP excuses.

To be dressed is one thing but to be dressed UP is special.

And this UP is confusing:  A drain must be opened UP because it is stopped UP.

We open UP a store in the morning, but we close it UP at night.  We seem to be pretty mixed UP about UP!

To be knowledgeable about the proper uses of UP, look UP the word UP in the dictionary.   In a desk-sized dictionary, it takes UP almost 1/4 of the page and can add UP to about thirty definitions.

If you are UP to it, you might try building UP a list of the many ways UP is used.  It will take UP a lot of your time, but if you don’t give UP, you may wind UP with a hundred or more.

When it threatens to rain, we say it is clouding UP.  When the sun comes out, we say it is clearing UP.  When it rains, the earth soaks it UP.  When it does not rain for a while, things dry UP.  One could go on and on, but I’ll wrap it up, for now . . . my time is UP!

Oh . . . one more thing:  What is the first thing you do in the morning and the last thing you do at night?

U       P!

Did that one crack you UP?

Don’t screw UP.  Send this on to everyone you look UP in your address book. . . or not . . . it’s UP to you.