The Bird Feeder

I wish I could take credit, but I didn’t write it…

The Bird Feeder

A man bought a bird feeder. He hung it on his back porch and filled it with seed. Within a week he had hundreds of birds taking advantage of the continuous flow of free and easily accessible food.

But then the birds started building nests in the boards of his patio,
above the table, and next to the barbecue.

Then came the poop. It was everywhere: on the patio tile, the chairs, the table… everywhere.

Then some of the birds turned mean:

They would dive bomb the man and try to peck him even though he had fed them out of my own pocket.

And others birds were boisterous and loud:

They sat on the feeder and squawked and screamed at all hours of the day and night and demanded that he fill it when it got low on food.

After a while, the man couldn’t even sit on his own back porch anymore.

Well, the man took down the bird feeder and in three days the birds were gone.

He cleaned up their mess and took down the many nests they had built all over the patio.

Soon, the back yard was like it used to be … quiet, serene and no one demanding their rights to a free meal.

Now let’s see …

Our government gives out free food, subsidized housing, free medical care, free education and allows anyone born here to be an automatic citizen.

Then the illegal’s came by the tens of thousands. Suddenly…
Our taxes went up to pay for free services;

Small apartments are housing 5 families:

You have to wait 6 hours to be seen by an emergency room doctor:

Your child’s 2nd grade class is behind other schools because over half the class doesn’t speak English:

Corn Flakes now come in a bilingual box;

I have to press “one” to hear my bank talk to me in English,
and people waving flags other than “Old Glory” are squawking and
screaming in the streets, demanding more rights and free liberties.

Maybe it’s time for our government to take down the bird feeder …

Sea and Air Power at it’s best

The Navy and Air Force just finished a big exercise in the Western Pacific- Here is the graduation picture 🙂
And yes, that really is a B-52 in the center of the flight formation and this year marks the B-52’s FIFTY-SECOND anniversery of service!
Folks, you really should be proud of the officers, men and women who crew these ships, aircraft and submarines. They work their butts off an average of 12 hours a day underway, in a hostile environment, for low pay AND have to put up with the crap from the likes of Reid/Kennedy/Pelosi…
These assets are getting old and tired (like the B-52) and maintaining them is a stone bitch! Also the Optempo/Perstempo is pretty high due to the cutbacks before 2000 in all the services. Many of these folks have also done tours in the Gulf and ashore in the Sandbox supporting a variety of organizations; yet they do so proudly! I know, I’ve worked with more than a few of these folks over the last few years.
A caveat here- You must remember…
A Happy Sailor is a bitching sailor; when they get quiet is when you have to worry! (Trust me- Been there, done that)
On another note- We have been having some sidebars about losing military folks. I would like to ask you, if you know a WWII, Korea, Vietnam or Gulf War veteran to try to get them to support the Veterans History Project being run by the Library of Congress.
Also, if you have military items from a family member you no longer want, or don’t plan to pass to others, rather than throw them out, please contact one of the service museums- They are always looking for donations for exhibits and historic artifacts. Here are links for the services museums

ERnursey – A very interesting Blog

ERnursey – An emergency room nurse blog: Strange things found in various places.

I was rolling on the floor at this one! This is another keeper of a blog.

Fair Winds and Following Seas for a shipmate

I just found out a few minutes ago that my “Sea Daddy” from my early P-3 Orion days died almost two years ago.

This reminds me of Matt’s post a couple of days ago over on Better and Better, how we lose touch with our Friends. I really feel badly about this, as Charlie was really one of the good guys…

Leonard Charles “Charlie” “Navy Charlie” Six, 63, died Nov. 20, 2005, at his home in Quakertown, Pa. He is survived by his loving wife of 20 years, Mrs. Six.
He retired in 1988 after 29 years of active duty in the U.S. Navy, which included three tours of duty in Vietnam.

I flew with and learned a TON from Charlie during ’73 to ’76 timframe, including some things that I passed on when I instructed that hopefully kept a few folks alive.

Keep it on centerline Charlie!

Ah… The joys of travel reimbursement…

Better known as why I hate beancounters…

As y’all know, I do a bit of travel for the government, which means I get to routinely submit paperwork, receipts, etc. to try to get the money back I spend doing my job…

This last one, however, has become so ridiculous it is approaching laughable!

To recap, I went to San Diego, CA; Sydney, AUS; Dallas, TX; two places in Japan; and Newport, RI with one night at home before Rhode Island. Today, I get THIS!!!!

From: them
To: me
Subject: Travel Claim of 9 Aug
Date: Mon, 20 Aug 2007 11:47:51

Your travel claim of 9 Aug has been rejected for the following errors which require correction:

Error in exchange rate for Australia. You claimed .94 per $1 AUS, according to (website) the correct amount is .853 per $1 AUS.

Your hotel rate exceeded the allowable rate of $185A by more than 10% without justification. Correct travel claim to show a maximum of $202A.

Laundry is not an expensible item when on foreign travel, it is considered M&IE. $121.00 disallowed.

Your travel claim indicated you departed Australia on 23 July at 1400 and arrived in Dallas, TX at 1300 on 23 July. This needs to be corrected to reflect actual travel time.

Your train receipt for Japan did not include a detailed cost breakdown or copies of ticket stubs. Please provide same.

Your hotel rate in Yokosuka was within per diem, however you did not include non-availability statement from CBQ, you will be reimbursed at the CBQ rate of $28/day.

Your travel claim indicated you departed Japan on 4 Aug at 1700 and arrived in Dulles at 1600 on 4 Aug. This needs to be corrected to reflect actual travel time.

Expect a minimum 2 week payment delay after refilling due to your claim being rejected.

Sincerely,

beancounter

From: Me

To: Beancounter

CC: VP

CC: CEO

Subj: Travel Claim of 9 Aug

Date: Mon, 20 Aug 2007 13:12:03

Hey #%&*

Listen you SUMBITCH

Dear ASSHOLE

Sirs,

In response to your email above- Somebody needs to learn how to read and also take a course in Geography… I have been over all of these issues with you at least once each in the last three months.

First, I submitted the exchange rate I ACTUALLY RECEIVED (See page 4 of claim that was ignored). That was the published exchange rate at the Sydney XXXXXX Bank on 18 July.

Yes the hotel was over per diem- That was the lowest rate and was approved by both the VP XXXX and the Government COTAR. You have to reimburse me the actual rate. (approval emails page 5 of claim).

The laundry IS reimbursable- It was done in Texas, not Australia OR Japan. How hard is this???

Have you ever heard of the International dateline????? Go look it up, that is why I landed in the states before I took off from Australia and Japan. Lose a day plus 12 or 15 hours depending…

Japanese railways do not give any itinerary other than the physical tickets, WHICH THE MACHINE KEEPS- There is NO #$%*( way to give you a ticket stub if the machine eats it).

Again, you did not read the accompanying paperwork. Email of 5 Jul provided non-avail from CBQ Yoko page 7 of claim.

See above about IDL!!!!

Fine, you want to delay my travel claim, I will delay my upcoming travel until this claim for $6423 is processed… OBTW, I am supposed to be in San Diego 4 Sept, guess I won’t be making that…

R,

Me

Now I’m just waiting for the blowback on this one…


Sigh…

I’m probably getting a complaint filed against me for my language, but what the hell… Idjits are idjits… Guess I’m stoopid, because I keep putting up with this (maybe for not much longer).

This is just living proof the bureaucracy has won- I’m glad this is nothing ‘important’ like bullets or bombs, or food or fuel…

Kicking my soap box back in the corner for now…

I’m a little lemming….

Okay, since everyone ELSE is jumping on this bandwagon…

This Is My Life, Rated
Life: 6.7
Mind: 7.1
Body: 6.1
Spirit: 7.1
Friends/Family: 4.7
Love: 0
Finance: 8.8
Take the Rate My Life Quiz

Yep, pretty much good, other than having no life due to my travel….

HUD View from the COCKPIT during a Space Shuttle Landing

Sigh… This is as close as most of us will ever get…

The thing to keep in mind is there is NO GO AROUND! It’s one shot and one shot only.

Enjoy!

Go check this Blog!

Go check out Skywritings This lady has her act together!!! Between her, Female Firefighter/Paramedic and BabsRN I’m learning a LOT of stuff I wish I had known 30+ years ago when I could have applied some of it…
sigh…
Day late and a dollar short as usual…
Seriously, go check them out- Professionals in their fields, provacative at times, but always grounded in reality; e.g. they don’t sugar coat it…

My semi-blind date from hell…

Last night was one of those periodic get togethers with a friend and his wife. We decided to go to the local Italian place for an early (quiet) dinner. Bob and I were meeting his wife and one of her co-workers there; so Bob and I went in one car, and the women came from work. Now a little backstory here- Bob is a retired Marine Col., Debbie is a lawyer with a DC firm (name withheld to protect the guilty); Debbie is an determined fixer-upper of unmarried male and female friends. SO….

Bob and I are enjoying our adult beverage of choice when the ladies appear- I’m thinking, hey.. Nice looking lady, lawyer, so probably interesting conversation, etc… you know, the standard stuff…

Now Bob has never met her either, so we are both in the dark; so we do the introductions around, and ‘Amanda’ immediately is on a roll…

She proceeds to announce she is anti-2A, an avowed feminist, all men are useless, she hates hunters, all professional sports hould be banned and the money should go to help the porr and downtrodden in America rather than feeding male egos, she is an environmental lawyer fighting the good fight against the evil White House and their dark minions (yes she really said that), and all this before the order is taken.

At this point Bob and I are looking for a way out, Debbie is clutching Bob’s drink with both hands and a stunned expression…

Amanda proceeds to order one item from the menu, then ask about three other things not on the menu, and whether they can prepare them for her. The poor waiter is fresh off the boat from Italy, so his English is not the best, but he tries to cope, which only pisses her off more, but she finally gets what she wants. The rest of us order off the menu as always, and away Amanda goes again…

She is the best lawyer there, New Yawker, by way of Wellesley, Harvard, etc.- Made Partner in less years, has a senior staff (all women), did she mention she hates all men that travel for business, she hates guns, believes all SUV’s and pickup trucks should be banned from the road and crushed, along with all Semi’s and everyone should be force to drive Quote- Environmental Conscious- Unquote small vehicles, because the big vehicles cause too many accidents (now I’m sure there was supposed to be some logic in there somewhere, but I sure as hell missed it). She drives a Prius and shuns fur too!

She works 80 hours a week and bills 120 hours a week an has for the last three years, she is a volunteer for Hillary, and is sure when Hillary is elected she will be offered a job in the administration, and they will fix the environment, and gun control and get out of the war for oil in Iraq…

At this point, Debbie kicked me under the table- I ‘think’ she was aiming for Bob though. Now at this point neither Bob nor I have even gotten a word in edge wise… But Bob IS turning an interesting shade of Purple…

Thankfully dinner was served at that point, so we at least had something to distract us. Of course, the salad was too hot, the meal was too cold, the pasta too limp, the veggies not limp enough, so Amanda sent EVERYTHING back!

By now, she’s into the fourth or fifth glass of wine, with no food, so off she goes again… She considers herself a conservative Democrat, wants to ban all guns, all men that travel are whoremongers (yep she said that too), she is positive Hillary will win, why there is just NO other choice for the well informed…

Debbie kicks me again… and I get the ‘look’… then she kicks Bob and gives him the look…

At this point Amanda finally gets her food and finally shuts up for a few minutes. Debbie is just staring at the ceiling shaking her head, and Bob and I are just looking at each other with a you have GOT to be s**ting me expression on both our faces…

We finish eating and Bob gets the waiter’s attention and calls for the bill- Amanda finally finishes her meal, pronounces it not satisfactory, and FINALLY looks at me and asked what I do for a living… I felt the table leg move and heard Debbie mumble under her breath, but I went ahead and answered Amanda.

Well, I hid my leg behind the table leg, and I told her, “Well, pretty much EVERYTHING you don’t like; well, that pretty much describes me. I carry a gun, I drive a hot rod car, I travel 130 days a year for a living, and I think it will be a cold day in Hell before Billary gets elected again, Fred Thompson will mop up the floor with her and Obama both!”

Bob was coughing his head off because he had snorted part of a sip of wine trying to keep from laughing, Debbie was trying her best to keep a straight face, pinching the bridge of her nose and either laughing or crying, I couldn’t tell which…

Sigh…

Amanda’s expression was the proverbial deer in the headlights look- I don’t think she had ever had anyone answer her like that before. She looked over a Bob and asked him, he replied, “Well, I’m a former Battalion Commander in the Marine Corps, and it’ll be a LONG time before I ever vote for anything named Clinton, and this dinner is over.”

Amanda just stared back and forth at Bob and I for a minute and didn’t say another word… Debbie got up and Amanda followed her out and they left. Bob and I paid the bill and retired to my garage, where we continued to sip our adult beverage of choice…

About 45 minutes later, Debbie drove by so Bob started walking back up to their place. Shortly after, Debbie and Bob came back into the garage, she was apologizing up one side and down the other… She told me she had NEVER realized Amanda was that type of person, had she known, she would have never invited her, and she was sorry she kicked me. Bob and I both started laughing, which just pissed Debbie off more. She asked what we were laughing at, and I told her that was positively the WORST blind data I had ever had… She glared at me for a couple of seconds, looked over at Bob, and finally, sheepishly, agreed that yeah, maybe she had made a ‘small’ mistake on that one….

So ended my semi-blind date from hell….

We are… (insert acronym here)


It’s really interesting to read various Web Logs (blogs) and see the assumptions the writers make that everyone knows exactly what the author means…

Also, the creation of words and acronyms to make things easier… yeah, right…

Just a random sample, but I wonder why the medical community worries about Unix Editors (ED) or Erectile Dysfunction (ED) (now who the hell made up dysfunction???)…

Or Cockpit Control displays and Charged Coupled Devices (CCD)…

Or El Monte Airport (EMT)…

And police websites that worry about Low Earth Orbit satellites (LEOs)…

And accountants that worry about Closest Point of Approach (CPA)…

Sigh…

Now granted we in the Military have one or two acronyms of our own… mostly due to having to communicate with Morse Code and/or signal flags, but it is sometimes funny what happens…

One of the best stories is LBJ’s (Lyndon Baines Johnson’s) introduction of the Blackbird when it was made public, it was originally known as the RS-71 (Reconnaissance (R) Fixed Wing (S) -71) within the Air Force. However, LBJ mis-pronounced the designator as the SR-71. The Air Farce, rather than correct the President, changed the designator and re-published all the documents.

Anyhoo…

Sometimes I’ll read a post, get a brain hiccup when the acronym doesn’t compute, and then have to go digging to figure out what the poster really meant. Oh yeah, the definitions above are:

Medical- ED- Emergency Department (used to be ER for Emergency Room)
CCD- Critical Care Doctor
EMT- Emergency Medical Tech

Law Enforcement- LEO- Law Enforcement Officer

Accountants- CPA- Certified Public Accountant

I’m gonna go back to my corner with my USNA and figure out what happens when a DD and FFG can’t work with the MC on the MPA to get their act together on UNITAS…