YGTBSM!!!

This one just boggles the mind… On SO many levels…

PRINCE GEORGE, Va. — Prince George County authorities are offering community service to more than 160 people accused of trespassing in a park to play a late-night game.

Police charged 19 young adults and teens and identified another 149 who participated in the game, called Manhunt, at Temple park on the night of Aug. 5. The game is similar to hide-and-seek.

Full article HERE.

One would ‘think’ they have better things to do…

Car stuff…

I didn’t do what I preach yesterday, which is never let the gas tank get below 1/3 of a tank…

I damn near got caught on the Woodrow Wilson Bridge because of it.  Why???

Because I was trying to beat the rush hour coming back from an offsite 2 hours away… Stupid, right?

Yeah… So there I am, sitting in traffic when the low fuel light comes on, and it’s sitting dead on empty.  Truly an Aw S!!t moment!!!

Managed to get off the bridge and up the hill to the first gas station on the VA side of the river, pulled in and got hit with ‘this’ little bill…

gas receipt

Yeah, that is a $100 dollar charge… I had 1.7 gallons left, which is good for, oh 23ish miles… And $4.27 a gallon SUCKS!!!

Don’t be stupid this time of year, just stop and fill your damn car up, you never know what traffic is going to do, especially with the last minute vacationers!!!

In other car news, my driver rant has proven to be TRUE!!!

Men who drive blue BMWs are more likely to be aggressive than motorists in any other car, a study claims.

And the peak time for drivers to get angry is 5.45pm on a Friday as they fight the rush-hour – followed by the dismal Monday morning commute.

The likeliest road rage culprits are men aged 35-50 with blue BMW cars, the study of 2,837 motorists found. Drivers also reported run-ins with owners of Land Rovers, Audis, Subarus and Vauxhalls.

Now granted this was in Britain, and they also nailed a color with it, but when you equate the cars listed to the US models, they pretty much match!!!

Full article HERE.   And doesn’t that guy kinda look like Jay without the ‘stash and goatee??? 🙂

Tank Show…

I’ve had about six responses about the Tank Show this weekend, and Saturday seems to be the preferred day.  I’ve let the coordinator know probably 10 people (hoping a few more decide to jump in).  I’ve also thrown $100 in the registration kitty, so if you decide to come, just pay me back when you get there ($10 a head is the requested donation).

Show website is HERE.

These are the directions from 66 and from 95

Directions- 13946 Aden Road Nokesville VA 20181 540-226-4516

From I-95
1) Take I-95 South to Exit 152 B
2) Follow the signs toward Manassas (Route 234)
3) Take a left onto Bristow Rd ( This will be the first left after Minnieville Rd and you will see Prince William County Landfill on your right)
4) Just after you pass “Crosby’s Crabs” Take a left onto Aden Rd.
5) Proceed straight through the 4 way stop sign
6) The driveway is on the left approximately 1 mile past Cedar Run Creek – new stop light at the bridge at Cedar Creek)

Red brick walls at the entrance on the left, proceed to the marked parking area.

From I-66
1. Take I-66 West to exit 44 – 234/ Prince William Parkway
2. Stay on Parkway until you see signs for 28 South and then exit
3. Go to the 6th Stop light and take a left onto Fitzwater Drive ( You will pass the Target Shopping Center and the Harris Teeter Shopping Center. The Harris Teeter Shopping Center has a large water fountain in front of it)
4. Go to the end of Fitzwater and take a Right onto Aden Road
5. Proceed through the 4 way stop sign (There will be a country store “Aden Grocery” on your left
6. Our Driveway is on the right approximately 200 feet pass the “Speed Limit 45” sign.

Red brick walls at the entrance on the right, proceed to the marked parking area.

If anybody’s coming from the South, I’ll be at the Cracker Barrel Restaurant at the 234 exit at 0830 if anybody wants to join me for breakfast. I plan on leaving there by 0930.

Thanks again to those that responded!!!

Hope to see y’all there!

The Grey Man, Part 7…

I’m going to try to put a part up once a week… TRY being the key word…

Part 7

After a breakfast at Waffle House, they rolled out to the back gate at Quantico and onto the FBI’s portion of the base. Pulling into the parking lot in front of the complex, Antonio commented, “I still have nightmares about this place, and it is no wonder I couldn’t sleep last night!”

Sergi just grunted and the old man laughed, “Hey we’re back as the pros from Dover now, so we don’t have to play their games. And the reason you had nightmares was all that damn food!”

Getting out of the car, they stopped momentarily to look at those faded brick buildings, each dealing with their own memories of the place.  Automatically, they all slipped on and straighten their suit coats, and the old man put on his cowboy hat.  As they walked up the walkway to the entry, a familiar figure stepped out. 

“John, you old bastard, I wondered if that was really you! I see that it is, and you’re as ugly as ever, Deputy John Cronin,” SAC Miller said with a smile and extending his hand. The old man, stuck out his hand and proceeded to fold the SAC into a bear hug and pounded him on the back, “Milty, who the hell let you up here? Goddamn, it’s been what 20 years? These are my co-authors, Sergi and Tony!”

Handshakes and introductions followed and the SAC said, “Hell John, I’m so old they put my tired ass out to pasture and this is the pasture. I’m the lead instructor and for my sins, the damn coordinator for this cluster fuck we’ve got this week. Com’on well get some coffee and I brought donuts for all you cops!”

Leading them into the building and the theater, they caught up with each other and discussed the plan for the seminars and their panel, since they weren’t on until eleven, they could either attend the first panels or come back. They decided since they’d already come out, and there was really nothing to do at the hotel, they would sit in on the earlier portion of the seminar. 

Sergi and Tony wandered off, talking with a few of the early arrivals as the SAC pulled the old man to the side saying, “John, just to give you a heads up, Klopstein is going to be here, and he’s been writing a lot of memos on how flawed your paper is, so be prepared.  Also, I’m pulling you guys out after lunch, we’ve got another meeting y’all have to attend. Don’t say anything to anybody else about that; I’ll come get you when we need to leave.”

The old man replied, “Klopstein? I thought that bastard got fired! How the hell did he get his nose back under the tent?”

Shaking his head, the SAC said, “Oh he wangled a position at Columbia in their Criminal Justice program and BS’ed his way into a department chair in Forensics and Analysis. You know about his whole model and simulation spiel, right? Well, he’s managed to keep pushing that shit down here and the head shed keeps giving him money to expand it into a real study.”

“Can I just shoot the bastard and be done with it Milty? I never could stand that sumbitch when he was trying to BS us in the forensics classes down here back in the day. Hey, any chance we can sneak over to the range? I still owe you a chance to get your money back from our last little competition,” the old man said with a grin.

Tony came back over and borrowed the keys to the car, saying he’d be back in a couple of minutes.  As Tony came back with a laundry bag in his hand, Sergi wandered up from the front of the theater. When he saw Tony with the laundry bag he started laughing, “Mr. SAC we have a little challenge for you, if you please. We would like to know if your great lab here can get fingerprints for us.”

The old man shook his head saying, “Milty, we had a bit of a set to last night, and they left a bit of evidence behind; ahhh, not sure how you want to handle this if you even do.”

The SAC held out his hand and Tony passed him the laundry bag, opening it and seeing the basketball he looked at the three of them with a quizzical expression, “Evidence? Are there bodies to go with this, or is this it?”

After a humorous retelling of the events of the previous night, the SAC was chuckling with them and said he’d see what he could do, and knew just the person at Metro DC to pass the info to if they came up with anything. 

Looking at his watch he said, “Well, time to get this show on the road, if you guys want to go or hide in the back feel free, I doubt you’ll need to be back before ten thirty.”

Shaking hands all around they broke up; the old man decided to stay and see what the other presenters were going to say, and Tony and Sergi decided to go visit the museum and stretch their legs.   

After the first presenter and panel, the old man snuck out the back and wandered around the buildings letting the memories wash over him. It was hard to believe it had been almost 30 years since he’d last been here and that was for 10 long weeks.  Homesick, damn near ready to leave after the second week, but determined to stick it out after Amy chewed his ass…  But the folks he’d met had opened his eyes to the world-wide fraternity of good cops; Sergi, Tony, Amir but he’d been killed in the 80’s in a riot in Bombay, that ol’ boy from over by Shreveport…

And the classes got him interested and back in the books, especially the forensics classes and how to correctly collect evidence and pursue investigations. That had opened up a whole new world for the young deputy back then, and taken him down the road that had now brought him back here.  As the Chief Investigator for the Sheriff’s Office he’d worked with so many different departments over the years and managed to put some truly bad guys behind bars, and a couple in the ground too. But his fascination with smuggling started right here, well that and the two years with the DEA in South America and the raids on labs and smuggling operations.

He realized he was standing in front of the old forensics classroom and there were still exhibits outside the door, but he didn’t recognize a single one of them. He wondered what had happened to the old ones, and figured they were in some storage unit somewhere on the compound.  Hell, they’d had stuff from Dillinger here when he’d gone through. Looking at his watch, he decided to head back and make sure he was ready for the panel discussion that was to come.

At 1045 the seminar broke for a 15 minute break and the SAC came out the back; seeing the old man, Sergi and Tony he motioned them over and told them, “Okay you guys are up, and I’ll introduce you then we’ll give you about fifteen minutes to give your open and then open the floor for questions, y’all got that?”

The nodded and followed the SAC back down to the stage, and he showed them the computer controls and gave them each their mikes and had them each do sound checks. 

As the last stragglers wandered back to their seats, he tapped the mike on the podium and started the introductions, “Okay ladies and gentlemen, the next panel is on smuggling of both drugs and personnel via both sea and land.  I’ll let the three presenters introduce themselves and give a quick overview of their paper and then we’ll open the floor for questions.”  With that he waved to the old man to start.    

Stepping to the center of the stage the old man started, “Morning folks, I’m Captain John Cronin, Pecos County Texas Sheriff’s Department chief investigator. The paper we co-wrote is based on a small sample of smuggling operations the three of us have directly participated in either individually or together in Europe so this will be a micro view of a much larger picture, but in our case we have complete documentation and photos and video in many cases. I’m a graduate of the NA back in 1983, and investigator since 1984. My co-hosts are Sergi and Antonio.” Waving at Sergi, he walked behind the table and sat down.

Sergi walked to the center of the stage and introduced himself, “Sergi Laine, Keskusrikospoliisi or NBI, our equivalent of your FBI. I am a graduate of this National Academy in 1986 and I am a field operations person specializing in smuggling into Finland. Approximately eight of the examples are from my borders.”

Tony got up and said, “Antonio Russo, Carabinieri, Direzione Anti Droga, our anti-drug task force. I too am a graduate, 1988 and I am specialist in drug smuggling with a minor specialty in slave smuggling out of Africa. Four of the events are ones that we performed as part of Interpol operations and two of the events are joint smuggling events that both the Cowboy,” smiling at the old man, “And the big Finn”, waving at Sergi, “And I ended up working as a team during 1996.  The first event was originally thought to be a simple cigarette smuggling from Corsica, but turned out to be a cartel operation from Columbia and Mexico via the Bahamas and the United States to smuggle both marijuana and cocaine into Europe disguised as a standard cigarette smuggling operation.”

“The second operation was from a lead from that led to a much larger organization smuggling slaves out of Ghana on coastal freighters to the Mediterranean and drugs and slaves being transshipped to other ships and to both Macedonia and the Baltic regions.  Sergi was brought in through Interpol and was instrumental in getting us assistance from the Baltic nations to allow a focal follow on the ship of interest to its final rendezvous with small boats off Hanku, Finland and the final end point of Helsinki; while the Cowboy and I picked up the trucks and small boats used to deliver the product and slaves into Albania, Yugoslavia, and finally ending in Skopje, Macedonia. Since then Sergi and I have cooperated through Interpol on six other cases.”

The old man got up and gave a précis of the article, delving into the similarities observed in the way the smugglers set up their vehicles and/or ships. He also talked to the apparent international spread of very similar plans for adding concealment and spaces which they believed were probably based on the cartel’s reach into international crime.  Sergi and Tony both spoke briefly on specific cases they had each worked on. Finally the floor was opened to questions, most of which revolved around key points for determining whether there were compartments and cues to look for.

Then Professor Klopstein strutted to the microphone…

Rattling papers and adjusting his glasses and ostentatiously clearing his throat he finally spoke, “I am Professor Klopstein from Columbia University, head of the Criminal Justice Forensics Department and based on my 20 years of research in this area, and my modeling which is used by a number of organizations world-wide; I find that your entire premise is flawed because your sample size is not statistically significant; I find no definition of the so called ‘slavery’ you claim to have observed, and I can help but notice that you killed nine, let me repeat NINE people in these two so called coordinated takedowns. My question to you Captain, or should I call you ‘Cowboy’ is what was your justification for all these people being killed without arrest or trial?” 

Rustling his papers again, he stood in the aisle awaiting a response.

The old man started to get up, but Tony put out his hand, “I will handle this if you don’t mind sir.”

Walking to the front of the stage, Tony went from happy go lucky to deadly serious, to the point that Klopstein took a step backward.  “Signor professore, if I may call you that; you have insulted all of us with your comment, and you are lucky we are not in Italy, because I would personally take you out in the street and whip you.  But I will deign to answer your pathetic little question.”

Putting his hands behind his back, Tony paced slowly from one side of the stage to the other.  “Remember this distance please; I will refer to it later. Now to your first point, we stated both here and in the paper this was a limited sample and we were very specific about that. There was no attempt to place this in any larger context than that of a limited look at drug smuggling specifically coming in from South America, and slave smuggling from Ghana.  As for the definition of slavery, you should really keep up with the INTERPOL definitions professore, you are sadly uninformed in reality. Secondly, for a so called world-wide presence, we looked at your pathetic little model and summarily recommended not adopting it because you had nothing in the model that actually supports any law enforcement agency other than a US federal agency.”

Walking back across the stage, he stopped at the edge, “Please dim the lights up here and down in front if you would please.” As the lights dimmed, he paced slowly to the center of the stage, stopped, put his hands behind his back and bowed his head for a minute.

Klopstein started back to his seat, but Tony yelled, “NO, YOU STAY RIGHT THERE.  You want answers I give you answers.”

Klopstein froze in place, as Tony walked back to the side of the stage, “Signor John, or Cowboy as you so derisively called him killed four people in the first operation for two reasons. You see, I was the lead boarder when we did a covert boarding of the first ship. It was a little darker than you see here. We used two Zodiacs with five people in each, one driver and four boarders.  I was first up the rope to the starboard stern of the vessel, it was about seven feet up that boarding rope.  As soon as I got on deck, I crouched until I was sure Cowboy was almost on deck and I started moving forward,” Tony walked quickly to the center of the stage. “I was shot by at least three smugglers at this point, actually shot multiple times in the vest, but one shot hit me in the side of the head and I dropped immediately.”

Pacing to the far side of the stage, “Cowboy was barely aboard when they shot me.  He took out his pistol and shot all three of the smugglers with head shots from this distance, in less light than we have now. He took five rounds to the vest, and one shot in the left bicep. He then rushed forward and charged the bridge.  As he was coming up the ladder, a fourth smuggler tried to shoot him off the ladder. Cowboy put him down also with a head shot.”

Stalking back to center stage, Tony again put his hands behind is back, “Cowboy then captured the Captain and the bridge, forcing them to kill all power on the ship and putting it adrift in the Adriatic while the rest of the team boarded.  These smugglers did not go easily, and in fact we killed eight just in this boarding alone.  I was medically evacuated by a helicopter, so you might ask how I know this.  I know this from my team, who followed Cowboy and completed the takedown. And I have no doubt, nor do any of the  men there that night that Cowboy saved my life. Lights please.”

As the lights came back up, Tony walked back to the table and leaned on it rubbing his hands, “Sergi and the Cowboy finished my job in Skopje, and only two smugglers were shot there when they first shot at us.”

Walking back to the front of the stage, Tony looked down at Klopstein and asked softly, “Have you ever been in the field ‘professore’?”

Klopstein blustered, “No, my work does not require me to go in the field. I rely on the ‘proper’ documentation from field agents for my work.”

“You don’t remember me do you?”

“No, why should I?”

“Professore, or should I say Analyst Klopstein, does the name SNC Technologies bring anything to mind? 1988 in Hogan’s Alley?”

Klopstein visible recoiled at that, turned pale and sat in the first seat he could find.

Tony looked out at the audience and said, “In 1988 as a student here, I among others was invited to participate in a new training technology called Simunitions today.  Analyst Klopstein here, who used to be employed by the FBI as an analyst here, decided that he needed to participate in the exercise to quote, get a feel unquote for how operations are handled.  He was placed on the hostage guard side of the exercise to get an understanding of how fast a takedown had to take place to save the hostages.  When he was hit for the first and ONLY time with a Simunition, he dropped his weapon and ran screaming to the corner and collapsed; yelling for us to not shoot him anymore.”

In the dead silence that followed, Tony asked, “Are there anymore questions? Thank you.”

The SAC stepped to the podium and thanked them for the presentation and called a lunch break for all. 

As the old man, Sergi and Tony walked off the stage, the SAC met them at the bottom of the steps.  At the same time a young Thai policeman approached them diffidently, then gave the traditional bow and hands together gesture to the old man, “Sawasdee krup.”

The old man returned the gesture and greeting, and the young Thai continued, “Sir, Pan Wattanapanit asked to be remembered to you and hopes that you and your family are well.”

The old man stood there for a second or two, then looked sharply at the young Thai policeman, “Do you mean Joe? What IS that bastard up to these days?”  

A bit taken aback by the response and not sure how to answer, he said, “Sir, Pan Wattanapanit is the director of the Central Investigation Bureau now, and my superior.”

The old man started laughing, to all the others surprise. He shook his head and replied, “Joe or I guess ‘Cho’ as you say it was my roommate here, and talk about a homesick sumbitch, and lousy card player, but smart as a whip and all whang leather tough and damn that little shit could drink! And he loved Kentucky sour mash!  That Joe?”

Smiling the young Thai said, “Yes sir, he still loves it and requested that I bring him some Blanton’s home. He said he will never forget that gift.”

Turning to the others, the old man said, “On the tenth and twentieth anniversaries of our graduations, I’ve sent him bottles of Blanton’s; and all I get back is that damn Sang Thip.’ Turning back to the young Thai he smiled, “Please see me tomorrow and I will make sure you have another bottle or two to deliver to that old souse…”

Bowing the young Thai nodded and left.  The SAC just shook his head, and said, “Okay guys, we need to make a little road trip here, so if y’all will join me, we’re outta here.”

Sergi and Tony just looked at each other, but the old man nodded and said, “Let’s go, I need to eat something though, Milty.”

Laughing, he just led them out to his car.  Once they were on the way, he told them,

“Y’all are going over to the Marine side, and give another brief and Q and A with a few military folks.  This one is going to be NATO Secret, and you’re all cleared to that level.”

After crossing through the gate, the SAC turned again, “McDonalds?”

They all laughed and agreed, so they did the drive through and proceeded over to the Marine Corps Combat Developments building.  After clearing the front desk, the SAC told them he would be back to get them in an hour.  They were escorted to a secure conference room by a young Captain, and offered coffee.  Shortly thereafter, the room began to fill with various very fit young men in civilian clothes, and one older Coast Guard Captain.  The old Captain did a double take, then walked over to them.  Sticking out his hand he introduced himself, saying to the old man, “Captain Jeff Carson, you don’t remember me do you?”

Shaking his hand, he said, “No Captain, I can’t say that I do, John Cronin by the way. Should I remember you?”

The Captain laughed, “Probably not, the last time I saw you, you were playing at being a second class petty officer; that was in 1979, remember that? And heloing on and off a Cutter down off Columbia in the middle of the night?”

Slapping his head, the old man grinned, “LTJG Carson, how you’ve changed!  My god that was YEARS ago!  I see you’ve stuck it out, and done pretty well since I know they don’t make a lot of Coastie Captains!”  Looking over at Tony and Sergi, he quickly related the tale of his dropping in on the Coasties in the middle of the night as a DEA agent to do a takedown on a particular mother ship off Columbia. 

Shortly, a Marine Colonel entered and the room came to attention. Motioning the three to the front, he introduced them in a very truncated fashion and said, “Gentlemen, these folks have been there and done it, you’ve all received copies of the paper they wrote and now is your chance to ask any questions and get any details you think are pertinent.  Captains, these young men are from a variety of military organizations and are here for special operations joint training using new technology in a program called Visit, Boarding, Search and Seizure or as we know it VBSS.  This is not your generation’s version of it, and we are doing our best to standardize this across services and countries so that we can operate effectively not only with each other, but from a variety of platforms.  Gentlemen you have one hour.”

An hour and a half later, John, Sergi and Tony though they had been through the wringer…

The questions had come hot and fast, everything from intel, timeliness, radio coordination, covert and overt boarding options, smugglers and guards and their normalized placements on the smuggling ships, where and how to look for hidden compartments, hidden scuttle valves to allow compartments to be sunken in the bilges, smells that might cue them, heated or cooled areas and their indicators, deceptive lighting, and many more questions.

And they’d figured out there were at least six or seven different organizations represented, but no one other than the Captain, who merely observed, ever identified themselves.

The SAC picked them up and took them back to the theater, and pulled the old man off to the side, handing him a flyer, “John, I know you’re still a shooter, and this is right up your alley if you’re not too old. It’s a little competition over in West Virginia in about six months. If you want to take a break, this would be a good one to go do, and you’ll be against the best around. Trust me.”

The old man looked at the flyer and folded it neatly and put it in his pocket, “Thanks Milty, maybe this will be my last one. Speaking of which, are we gonna go shoot or not?”

“Not this trip John, but Becky wanted to invite y’all to come to dinner tonight at six thirty if that works for y’all.”

Shaking hands with him, the old man replied, “We’ll be there with bells on.”

To be continued…

Gotta love those Army Pilots…

I think that SWA Captain could have taken a lesson or two from this guy…

That “Bou” pilot had his act together!!!

h/t JP

Sea Stories…

This one courtesy of JP, and too good not to share…

Here’s a personal story of an F-18 Hornet’s set up for an o’dark thirty barricade recovery .  .  on an aircraft carrier in the Pacific’s middle.

[ Note : the barricade is a 20 foot high net that stretches across the carrier’s deck to ‘catch’ bad airplanes during extreme emergencies.]

“Oyster, here.

This note is to share the exciting night I had not that long ago.  It has nothing to do with me wanting to talk about me.  But it has everything to do with sharing what will no doubt become a better story .  .  as the years zoom by.
  
So .  .
There I was, as they say .  .  ‘ manned up’ a hot seat for the 2030 night launch about 500 miles north of Hawaii.  I was taxied off toward the carrier’s island where I did a 180 to get spotted and be the first off #1 Catapult.
  
They lowered my launch bar and started the launch cycle.  All systems were ‘ go’ on the run up.  And after waiting the requisite 5 seconds to make sure my flight controls were good to go, I turned on my outside lights.
  
As is my habit, I shifted my eyes to the catwalk and watched the deck edge dude and as he started his routine of looking left .  .  then to the right.
I put my head back against the head rest.
  
The Hornet cat shot is pretty impressive.  The cat fires, I stage the afterburners and I am along for the ride.
But just prior to the end of the stroke .  .  there’s a huge flash .  ..  and simultaneous .  .  B-O-O-M !
And my night world is now .  .  turmoil!
  
My little pink body is now doing 145 knots .  .  100 feet above the black Pacific.
And there the airplane stays — except for its airspeed .  .  decaying below 140 knots.
I raised my gear.  But the throttles aren’t going any farther forward despite my Schwarzze-negerian effort to force them further ahead.
From out of the ether I hear a voice speak one word : “JETTISON!”  I rogered that!  And a nano-second later my two drops and single MER [ about 4,500 pounds in all ] are bound to black Pacific .  .  close below.
The airplane leapt up.
  
A bit.
But not enough.
I’m now about a mile in front of the boat at 160 feet with airspeed fluctuating from 135 to 140 knots.
Next comment out of the night ether is .  .  another one-worder :
“EJECT!”
I’m still flying .  .  so I said back : “Not yet .  .  I’ve still got it.”
  
Finally, at 4 miles ahead of the boat, I take a peek at my engine instruments and notice my left engine .  .  doesn’t match the right.  [ Funny, how quick glimpses at instruments get burned into your brain.] The left RPM is only at 48% even though I’m still doing the Ah-Nold thing on its push lever.
I bring everything out of afterburner, but allowed both throttle levers to remain against extreme forward detent .
And I get another call from the boat:
“EJECT!”
“Nope!  It’s still flying,” I told them.
At 5 1/2 miles I asked Tower to please get the helo headed my way as I truly believed .  .  I was going to be ‘shelling out.’ At some point, I thought it would probably be a good idea to dump some gas.
  
But as my hand reached down to the dump switch, I actually remembered that we had a NATOPS operation prohibition against dumping fuel now because the after burners .  .  WOULD IMMEDIATELY TORCH THE POURING FUEL!
  
BUT .  .  after a second or two [contemplating the threat of landing an unnecessarily heavy fighter on the night deck] I turned the fuel dump switches ON .  .  any-way.
Immediately [I was told later] .
  .
A SIXTY FOOT ROMAN CANDLE OF S-O-L-I-D FIRE!  TRAILED BEHIND.
At 7 miles I began slow climb to get a little breathing room.  CATCC control chimes in giving me a downwind landing pattern heading.  And I’m like: “Ooh .  .  what a good idea” .  .  and throw down my tail hook.
  
Eventually I get things headed downwind at 900 feet and ask for a Tech Rep [Manufacturer’s Technical Representative].  While waiting, I shut down the flaky and threatening port [left] engine.
  
In short order, I hear ‘ Fuzz ‘ McClure’s voice.  I tell him the following: ‘Okay Fuzz, landing gear’s up .  .  left motor’s off .  .  and I’m only able to stay level if I use some afterburner.
And every time I click off the ‘blower’ and reduce to 100 % military power on the starboard [right] engine .  .  the airplane wants to ‘start down’ at about a 100 feet a minute.”
I continued trucking downwind .  .  trying to keep it level .  .  kept dumping off fuel.  .  and dumping off fuel.
  
I think I must have been in and out of afterburner for about a quarter hour.
  
I’m ten miles out and down to 5000 pounds of gas.  Start to turn back.  My intention was not to land the thing.  I just didn’t want to get too far away from the boat.
  
Of course, as soon I as I stuck in a little 20 degree bank .  .  the crippled F-18 began falling like a stone.  So I ended up doing a shallow bank to stay within a 5 mile radius.
Fuzz is reading me the single engine rate of climb numbers from the ‘book’ based on temperature, etc.  And it doesn’t take us long to figure out that things aren’t adding up.  One of the things I’d learned about the F-18 Hornet is that it is a perfectly good single engine aircraft.  And it usually flies great on one motor.
SO .  .  WHY do I need ‘blower’ [afterburner] to hold me up in the air right now?
  
By this time, I’m talking to Deputy CAG on the flight deck.  And boss CAG who’s on the bridge with the Captain.
And we decide that the thing to do .  .  is for me climb to 3,000 feet and ‘dirty up’ with wheels and flaps down .  .  then check to see if this messed up bird has enough power to do a night approach and landing without slamming into the barricade.
  
I go full burner on my remaining motor.  And eventually make it up to 2,000 feet before going level below a scattered puffy clouds.
The ‘puffies’ are silhouetted against a half a moon.  And part of my busy mind thought was .  .  really, really cool.
  
I start a turn back toward the ship .  .  threw the gear down and ‘clicked off the ‘blower.’ Remember that flash/boom .  .  that started this little tale?
[Repeat it here] B-O-O-M!
  
I jam it back into afterburner.  And after three or four huge compressor stalls [and accompanying deceleration] the right motor ‘comes back.’ I’m thinking my blood pressure was probably ‘up there’ about now .  .  my mouth had no saliva.
  
This next part is great.
You know those stories about guys who deadstick crippled airplanes away from the orphanages and puppy stores and stuff and get all this great media attention?
Well, at this point I’m looking at the running lights of a picket ship in front of me, at about two miles.  And I transmit to no one in particular:  
“You need to have the picket ship hang a left right now.  I think I’m gonna be outta here in a second.”
  
I said it very calmly but with meaning.
The picket immediately pitched out of the fight.  Ha!  I scored major points with the heavies afterwards for this.  Anyway, it’s funny how your mind works in these situations.
OK, so I’m dirty and I get it back level and pass a couple miles up the starboard side of the ship.  I’m still in minimum blower and my fuel state is now about 2500 pounds.  Hmmm.  I hadn’t really thought about running out of gas.
  
I muster up the gonads to pull it out of blower again and sure enough…  flash, BOOM!  I’m thinking that I’m gonna end up punching out and tell Fuzz at this point: “Dude, I really don’t want to try that again.”
  
Don’t think everyone else got it .  .  but ‘Fuzz’ chuckled.
  
Eventually I discover that even the tiniest throttle movements cause the ‘flash boom thing’ to happen so I’m trying to be as smooth as I can.  
I’m downwind a couple miles when CAG comes up and says, “Oyster, we’re going to rig the barricade.”
  
Remember, CAG’s up on the bridge watching me fly around doing fiery blower donuts in the sky.  And he’s also thinking I’m gonna run outta JP-5 fuel.
By now I’ve told everyone who’s listening that there a better than average chance that I’m going to be ejecting.  So the helicopter ‘bubbas’ – God bless ’em – have been on an invisible leash .  .  following me around.
  
“Paddles, you up [listening]?”
“Go ahead” replies “Max” Stout, one of our LSO’s.  “Max, I probably know most of it, but do you want to shoot me the barricade briefing?”  
So, in about a minute .  .  Max went from expecting me to ‘punch out ‘ .  .  to my asking for the barricade brief [so he was hyperventilating].  But he was awesome to hear on the command radio though .  .  just the kind of voice you’d want to hear in this situation.
  
He gave it to me.  Then at nine miles I say: “If I turn now will the barricade be up when I get there?  I don’t want to have to go around again.”
“It’s going up right now, Oyster.  Go ahead and turn.  And turning in, say the final bearing.”  “Zero six three,” adds the voice in CATCC.”
“OK, I’m on a four degree glide slope and I’m at 800 feet.  I will intercept the final glide slope at about a mile and three quarters.  Then reduce power and hold it there.”
When I reduced power: Flash/boom!  [Add power out of fear].  Going high!  Pull power.  Flash/boom!  [Add power out of fear.] Going higher!
[Flashback to LSO school…  “All right class, today’s lecture will be on the single engine barricade approach.  Remember, the one place you really, really don’t want to be is high.  O.K.?  You can go play golf now.”] I start to set up a higher than desired sink rate the LSO hits the “Eat At Joe’s” wave-off night lights.”
  
Very timely too.
I stroke the AB and cross the flight deck with my right hand on the stick and my left thinking about the little yellow and black ejection handle between my knees.
No worries.  I cleared ‘it’ by maybe .  .  ten feet.
My fuel state at the ‘ball call” was showing low at 1.1.  As I slowly climb out I punched the radio button saying .  .  again to no one in particular:
“I can do this.”
  
I’m in blower still and CAG says: “Turn downwind.”  After I get turned around he says: “Oyster, this is gonna be your last look at the boat [in the dark below] so you can turn in again as soon as you’re [feeling] comfortable.”
  
I flew the DAY pattern and I lost about 200 feet in the turn and like I’m a total dumb ass, I look out of the cockpit as I get on centerline. And that ‘NIGHT THING’ about feeling that I’m too high “GRABBED ME!” 

So in error I pushed further down further to 400 feet [above the invisible water now close below.] I got kinda irked at myself, then as I realized I would now be intercepting the four degree glide slope in the middle .  .  with a flash/boom every several seconds all the way down.
  
Last look at my gas was 600-and-some pounds [100 gallons] at a mile and a half astern.  “Where am I on the glide slope, Max?”, I ask.  And I and hear his calm reply: “Roger Ball.” I know I’m low because the ILS [needle] is waaay up there.
  
By now the “Ball’s” shooting up from its depths.  I start flying it.  But before I get a chance to spot the deck I hear: “Cut, cut, CUT!”
I’m really glad I was a ‘Paddles’ for so long because my mind said to me “Do what he says Oyster!”  So I pulled it back to idle.  My hook hit the deck .  .  11 paces beyond the potato locker ceiling’s upper edge.  I hit the deck .  .  skipped the one, the two and snagged the three wire and rolled into the barricade about a foot right of centerline.
Once stopped, my vocal cords involuntarily shouted: “VICTORY!”  The deck lights came on bright.  And just off to my right there must have been a .  .  ga-zillion cranials and eyes watching.
  
You could hear a huge cheer across the flight deck.  After I open the canopy and the first guy I see is our huge Flight Deck Chief named Richards.  And he gives me the coolest personal look .  .  and then two thumbs up.
I will remember all of that forever.
  
P.S.  You’re probably wondering what gave motors problems.
When they taxied that last Hornet over the working catapult .  .  they’d forgotten to remove a section or two of the rubber cat seal.  When the catapult shuttle came back to hook me up, it removed the cat rubber seal, dragged and dropped it front of the intakes.  During my catapult stroke .  .
the rubber seal was inhaled by both motors.
  
Basically, the left engine quit.  And about thirty feet of black rubber was hanging down from its air intake. The right motor .  .  the one that kept running .  .  had also swallowed rubber and had 340 major hits to every one of its engine stages.  The compressor section is trashed.  And two pieces of the cat seal [one 2 feet and the other about 4 feet long] were poking out of the first stage and forward into the air intake.
God Bless General Electric!  By the way, maintenance data showed I had a little over sixty [61] gallons of gas when shutting down after catching the wire and coasting into the barricade.
  
Again, remember this particular number .  .  because after ten more years of telling this story .  .  it will surely be .  .  ‘FUMES MAN .  .  FUMES ..  .  I TELL YOU’!
“Oyster, out.”
[abridged from private source]

Short and sweet, he earned his flight pay that night… 🙂

I don’t know about anybody else…

But “I” didn’t see any of this in the MSM, when BO visited Arizona on 6 August…

And that’s Hank singing “We don’t apologize for America”.

Thoughts???

Okay, I’ll Play…

Alan over at SnarkyBytes brought back some old memories with the D&D Character evaluation… 🙂

It takes a couple of minutes to wade through the form, but this is what I got back…

Neutral Good Dwarf Ranger (8th Level)

Ability Scores:
Strength- 13
Dexterity- 16
Constitution- 13
Intelligence- 16
Wisdom- 16
Charisma- 16

Alignment:
Neutral Good- A neutral good character does the best that a good person can do. He is devoted to helping others. He works with kings and magistrates but does not feel beholden to them. Neutral good is the best alignment you can be because it means doing what is good without bias for or against order. However, neutral good can be a dangerous alignment when it advances mediocrity by limiting the actions of the truly capable.

Race:
Dwarves are known for their skill in warfare, their ability to withstand physical and magical punishment, their hard work, and their capacity for drinking ale. Dwarves are slow to jest and suspicious of strangers, but they are generous to those who earn their trust. They stand just 4 to 4.5 feet tall, but are broad and compactly built, almost as wide as they are tall. Dwarven men value their beards highly.

Class:
Rangers- Rangers are skilled stalkers and hunters who make their home in the woods. Their martial skill is nearly the equal of the fighter, but they lack the latter’s dedication to the craft of fighting. Instead, the ranger focuses his skills and training on a specific enemy a type of creature he bears a vengeful grudge against and hunts above all others. Rangers often accept the role of protector, aiding those who live in or travel through the woods. His skills allow him to move quietly and stick to the shadows, especially in natural settings, and he also has special knowledge of certain types of creatures. Finally, an experienced ranger has such a tie to nature that he can actually draw on natural power to cast divine spells, much as a druid does, and like a druid he is often accompanied by animal companions. A ranger’s Wisdom score should be high, as this determines the maximum spell level that he can cast.

Find out What Kind of Dungeons and Dragons Character Would You Be?, courtesy of Easydamus (e-mail)

Cops doing good…

Yes, it does happen, but these are the stories that never seem to make the media…

Police give young mom a helping hand after shoplifting accusation

by Ashley B. Craig

Charleston Daily Mail staff

Charleston Patrolman Ryan Williard and Detective Duane Fields helped a struggling mother accused of shoplifting at the Patrick Street K-Mart.

What started as an ordinary shoplifting call turned in to something more for two Charleston police officers.

Patrolmen Ryan Willard and Duane Fields were dispatched July 30 to K-Mart at the PatrickStreetPlaza to look into a shoplifting. They spoke to the loss prevention officer when they arrived and then were led to a room inside the store.

There they found a young woman and her two young daughters – a 7- or 8-year-old and a 2-year-old who was still in diapers.

When they learned what the woman had tried to take from the store, their hearts went out to her.

“She didn’t take anything to benefit herself,” Willard said. “She had only taken baby diapers, rash cream and some clothes for her children, ’cause she said she was going through kind of a rough divorce and her husband wasn’t really helping out.”

Willard, 24, and Fields, 34, talked about the situation with each other and then with the loss prevention officer.

“I just felt bad for her,” Fields said. “I’ve got kids at home.”

Fields, a father of two who just made detective, offered to buy diapers and rash cream for the baby and Willard took her and the children into the store to pick out a couple of outfits, shoes and socks.

“You could tell she was just down on her luck, and it’s good for the police to be able to show people that we’re just normal just like them and that we can step out of our boundaries and help in their time of need as well.

Read the rest of the story HERE.

Kudos to them!

Squeaky Update…

Sadly not so good news…

Squeaky’s post is HERE.  and Erin’s post is HERE.

If you can spare a few bucks, it would be appreciated…