Minnesota became the 32nd state on May 11, 1858 and was originally settled by a lost tribe of Norwegians seeking refuge from the searing
heat of Wisconsin ‘s winters.
The state flag of Minnesota consists of a blue background upon which sits a design best described as “how a 7-year-old city girl would draw a picture titled ‘life on the farm'”.
Minnesota gets its name from the Sioux Indian word “mah-nee-soo-tah”, meaning, “No, really… they eat fish soaked in lye”. The state song of Minnesota is “Someday the Vikings will… Aw, never mind”. The Mall of America in Bloomington , Minnesota covers 9.5 million square feet and has enough space to hold 185,000 idiot teenagers yapping away on cell phones. Madison, Minnesota is known as “the lutefisk capital of the world”. Avoid this city at all costs. “The Mary Tyler Moore Show” was set in Minneapolis, Minnesota , and was Mary’s first real acting job since leaving the “Dick Van Dyke Show”. The show is about a single woman’s struggle to find happiness in the big city. The state motto of Minnesota at one time was “Where even a man who wears a feather boa can be governor.” Now it’s “Where even Stuart
Smalley can be Senator.” Downtown Minneapolis has an enclosed skyway system covering 52 blocks, allowing people to live, work, eat, and sleep without ever going outside. The only downside to this is that a Norwegian occasionally turns up missing. Cartoonist Charles M. Schulz was born in Minneapolis, Minnesota and grew up in St. Paul . He was the only artist to accurately depict the perfectly circular heads of Minnesota natives. The Hormel Company of Austin Minnesota produces 6 million cans of Spam a year, even though no one actually eats it. Spam is a prized food in Japan .
Water skis were invented in 1922 in Lake City ,Minnesota by Ralph Samuelson. Sadly, he drowned shortly afterwards, as the motorboat hadn’t been invented yet.
St. Paul , Minnesota was originally named “Pig’s Eye”, after French Canadian whiskey trader Pierre “pig’s eye” Parrant. Its “twin city”, Minneapolis , was known as “Pig’s Colon “
Pelican Rapids is home to a 16-foot-tall concrete pelican which subsists on a diet of 4-foot-long concrete fish. In 1973, Olivia , Minnesota , erected a 25-foot tall fiberglass corn cob to celebrate its rich, agricultural heritage. Then in 1974, it was eaten by a 50-foot statue of Babe the blue ox. Yes, Minnesota has a lot of problems with statue cannibalism. Minnesota license plates are blue & white and contain the phrase “Blizzards on Independence Day – you get used to it.” Frank C. Mars, founder of the Mars Candy Co. was born in Hancock, Minnesota. His 3 Musketeers candy bar originally contained three bars in one wrapper, each filled with a different flavor of nougat – chocolate, spam, and lutefisk. The first fully automatic pop-up toaster was invented in Minneapolis, Minnesota in 1926. Minnesota ‘s stringent bread-control laws currently only allow residents to own semi-automatic toasters. Tonka trucks continue to be manufactured in Minnetonka, Minnesota, despite the thousands of GI Joe dolls killed by them annually in rollover accidents. No airbags, no seat belts. These things are deathtraps, I tell ya! Author Laura Ingalls Wilder was raised at Walnut Grove, Minnesota , and was famous for writing the “Little House” series of books, as well as inventing the “spam diet” which consists of looking at a plate of spam until you lose your appetite. Much like the “lutefisk diet”. The snowmobile was invented in Roseau , Minnesota so as to allow families a means of attending Independence Day picnics. Minnesotans are almost indistinguishable from Wisconsinites. The only way to tell them apart is to ask if they voted for Mondale in ’84.
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Once upon a time the government had a vast scrap yard in the middle of a desert. Congress said, “Someone may steal from it at night.” So they created a night watchman position and hired a person for the job.
Then Congress said, “How does the watchman do his job without instruction?” So they created a planning department and hired two people, one person to write the instructions and one person to do time studies.
Then Congress said, “How will we know the night watchman is doing the tasks correctly?” So they created a Quality Control department and hired two people, one to do the studies and one to write the reports.
Then Congress said, “How are these people going to get paid?” So they created two positions, a time keeper and a payroll officer, then hired two people.
Then Congress said, “Who will be accountable for all of these people?”
So they created an administrative section and hired three people, an Administrative Officer, an Assistant Administrative Officer, and a Legal Secretary.
Then Congress said, “We have had this command in operation for one year, and we are $918,000 over budget. We must cut back.” So they laid off the night watchman.
NOW slowly, let that sink in.
Quietly, we go like sheep to slaughter.
Does anybody remember the reason given for the establishment of the DEPARTMENT OF ENERGY….. during the Carter Administration?
Anybody?
Beuler?
/crickets…
Didn’t think so!
Bottom line: We’ve spent several hundred billion dollars in support of an agency…the reason for which not one person who reads this can remember!
Ready?? It was very simple . . . and, at the time, everybody thought it very appropriate.
The Department of Energy was instituted on 8/04/1977 TO LESSEN OUR DEPENDENCE ON FOREIGN OIL.
Hey, pretty efficient, huh???
AND, NOW, IT’S 2011 — 34 YEARS LATER — AND THE BUDGET FOR THIS “NECESSARY” DEPARTMENT IS AT $24.2 BILLION A YEAR. IT HAS 16,000 FEDERAL EMPLOYEES AND APPROXIMATELY 100,000 CONTRACT EMPLOYEES, AND LOOK AT THE JOB IT HAS DONE! THIS IS WHERE YOU SLAP YOUR FOREHEAD AND SAY, “WHAT WERE THEY THINKING?”
