If the ‘shoe’ fits!!!

Posted on by March 6, 2013
Got this from one of my old high school classmates…

To all my senior friends (you know who you are… I think…)

I very quietly confided to a neighbor that I was having an affair.

She turned to me and asked, ‘Are you having it catered’?


And that, my friend, is the definition of ‘OLD’!


Just before the funeral services, the undertaker came up to the very elderly widow and asked, ‘How old was your husband?’

‘98,’ she replied: ‘Two years older than me’


‘So you’re 96,’ the undertaker commented.


She responded, ‘Hardly worth going home, is it?’


Reporters interviewing a 104-year-old woman:

‘And what do you think is the best thing about being 104?’ the reporter asked.


She simply replied, ‘No peer pressure.’


I’ve sure gotten old!

I’ve had two bypass surgeries, a hip replacement, new knees, fought prostate cancer and diabetes I’m half blind, can’t hear anything quieter than a jet engine, take 40 different medications that


make me dizzy, winded, and subject to blackouts. Have bouts with dementia. Have poor circulation; hardly feel my hands and feet anymore. Can’t remember if I’m 85 or 92. Have lost all my friends. But, thank God, I still have my driver’s license!


I feel like my body has gotten totally out of shape, so I got my doctor’s permission to join a fitness club and start exercising. I decided to take an aerobics class for seniors. I bent, twisted, gyrated, jumped up and down, and perspired for an hour… But, by the time I got my leotards on, the class was over.

An elderly woman decided to prepare her will and told her preacher she had two final requests. First, she wanted to be cremated, and second, she wanted her ashes scattered over Wal-Mart.
‘Wal-Mart?’ the preacher exclaimed. ‘Why Wal-Mart?’

‘Then I’ll be sure my daughters visit me twice a week’


My memory’s not as sharp as it used to be. Also, my memory’s not as sharp as it used to be.

Know how to prevent sagging? Just eat till the wrinkles fill out.

It’s scary when you start making the same noises as your coffee maker.

These days about half the stuff in my shopping cart says, ‘For fast relief.’

THE SENILITY PRAYER :

Grant me the senility to forget the people I never liked anyway, the good fortune to run into the ones I do, and the eyesight to tell the difference.

Send it to a bunch of your friends…  if you can remember who they are!

If you ain’t old yet, you’re headed in that direction…

And a female thought for the day:

I don’t want to brag or make anyone jealous or anything, but I can still fit into the earrings I wore in high school.

What If (again)…

Posted on by March 6, 2013

Rather than the economy and the current BS going on, the election is decided by Iran, Israel, Egypt, China, and Mexico???

What am I talking about?

Well, we got into this over lunch today.  The consensus is that China, Iran and Mexico are all waiting until AFTER the elections to make their respective moves…  Egypt is moving NOW…

Iran wants to take out Israel (and they want a nuke capability NOW), Egypt is moving weapons, etc. to the border (in contravention of the peace treaty), China has ‘taken’ part of the Spratleys and vowed to push ‘foreigners’ beyond the second island chain; e.g. beyond Guam) and China and Japan are currently at a ‘near war’ footing over occupations of various islands.   And Mexico’s ‘new’ (this time around) administration is basically saying it’s going to go back to the old way of dealing with the cartels (e.g. take payoffs and let er rip)… 

Romney has already made his position clear, supports Israel, America’s closest ally, and understands they consider their backs to be against the wall.  AND  he’s indicated he will stand up to the Chinese also. Mexico? Who knows…

Obama doesn’t want to intervene (by releasing the bunker busters), fearing to alienate his muslim allies in the region and the new Egyptian power structure.  He agrees with  some of the retired Generals that  “we” can deal with an Iranian bomb.  And he’s already letting China do what they want in SEA.  We also know what he’s ‘tried’ through Holder with Fast and Furious.

This article HERE, by Arnaud De Borchgrave (UPI) has more in-depth discussion of the ‘Israel’ situation…  And Peter has a great post up HERE. Of note, Israel IS pushing Obama to take a stand and visit Israel, but that just ain’t happening…

Now when you move West,  in addition to the Spratleys occupation (with military AND civilians who now say they are the government), and the whole Senkaku situation blowing up yet again, HERE and HERE.

And what are we doing?  Nothing, the Fleet has been told to back off…

And Mexico? LL has a great post up HERE detailing what is going on and our response?  Nothing, unless you count the Dream Act and free welfare for illegals…

What happens if ANY of these situations blows up prior to the election?  Then THAT will become the lead item, and IF the USA (e.g. the current administration) don’t step up and stand up, we think Obama will lose in a landslide.  

If Obama gets re-elected, then we think that will be open season for Iran, Egypt, China and Mexico to pretty much do what they want…

Bottom line, this IS the most important election in my lifetime, and probably yours too!  Don’t trust the media to give you the straight story, take the time to research the issues and KNOW what the candidates stand for.  

Your vote DOES count, and you need to exercise your RIGHTS and vote!!!  

Humorous sayings…

Posted on by March 6, 2013
Figured I’d put some humor up, maybe brighten up your Monday…

Or not… 🙂


Sometimes, when I look at my children, I say to myself, ‘Lillian, you should have remained a virgin…
– Lillian Carter (mother of Jimmy Carter)

I had a rose named after me and I was very flattered. But I was not pleased to read the description in the catalogue: – ‘No good in a bed, but fine against a wall.’
– Eleanor Roosevelt

Last week, I stated this woman was the ugliest woman I had ever seen. I have since been visited by her sister, and now wish to withdraw that statement..
– Mark Twain

The secret of a good sermon is to have a good beginning and a good ending; and to have the two as close together as possible
– George Burns

Santa Claus has the right idea. Visit people only once a year.
– Victor Borge

Be careful about reading health books. You may die of a misprint.
– Mark Twain

By all means, marry. If you get a good wife, you’ll become happy; if you get a bad one, you’ll become a philosopher.
– Socrates

I was married by a judge. I should have asked for a jury.
– Groucho Marx

My wife has a slight impediment in her speech. Every now and then she stops to breathe.
– Jimmy Durante

I have never hated a man enough to give his diamonds back.
– Zsa Zsa Gabor

Only Irish coffee provides in a single glass all four essential food groups: alcohol, caffeine, sugar and fat.
– Alex Levine

My luck is so bad that if I bought a cemetery, people would stop dying.
– Rodney Dangerfield

Money can’t buy you happiness …. But it does bring you a more pleasant form of misery.
– Spike Milligan

Until I was thirteen, I thought my name was SHUT UP .
– Joe Namath

I don’t feel old. I don’t feel anything until noon. Then it’s time for my nap.
– Bob Hope

I never drink water because of the disgusting things that fish do in it..
– W. C. Fields

We could certainly slow the aging process down if it had to work its way through Congress.
– Will Rogers

Don’t worry about avoiding temptation. As you grow older, it will avoid you.
– Winston Churchill

Maybe it’s true that life begins at fifty. But everything else starts to wear out, fall out, or spread out…
– Phyllis Diller

By the time a man is wise enough to watch his step, he’s too old to go anywhere.
– Billy Crystal

And the cardiologist’s diet: – If it tastes good spit it out.

Old Irish Blessing-
May your troubles be less, may your blessings be more, and
may nothing but happiness come through your door.


h/t JP

Another Comedy Legend has passed…

Posted on by March 6, 2013
For my older readers…

Phyllis Diller has gone to be reunited with Bob Hope, Milton Berle and all the other old time comedians…

Good article HERE!

She was funny as hell, always on purpose, and she made quite a few trips with Bob Hope to Vietnam and other places supporting our troops.

RIP Phyllis, and thanks for the ride!  You were literally one of a kind!

Range Time and Assumptions…

Posted on by March 6, 2013
Well, it was back to the range again today to try one more time to help my friend and his dad zero the AR with the EOTech on it. 

This time the batteries were new, and they ‘said’ they had bore sighted it…

So… Just in case I put a target out at 50 yards, hoping ‘not’ to need it…

First three rounds at 100 yards, nothing… again…

Moved to the 50 yard, and it looked like they were shooting high, as I could see dirt fly ‘above’ the target.  Told him to aim for the bottom of the target backer, and low and behold, three rounds about 3 inches from the top of the target!!! 🙂

So, about 32 clicks down…

And three hits at least around the bull…  WTF???

No grouping at all???

Rechecked tightness on everything, try that again, still no grouping…

Lemme try that thing!  Three round group one inch low, one inch right.  Okay, two and two clicks, and try it again, and all three are in the red center…

I hand the rifle back, and no grouping again!  Now I ‘know’ the rifle is on, so whatinhellisgoingon???

Ask the son to shoot it, and his group is about 4 inches wide and high right by 4 inches… Huh???

Put his dad back on the gun, and still no group!  Lemme try that again; and they all group in the center!

Now I’m totally confused…

So we talk through sight alignment, and how to use red dots… Low and behold,  his dad had misread the manual, and they were trying to put the red dot on top of the front post! 

Told them just use the red dot, and IGNORE the front post completely, and all of a sudden the groups were in the center and 2-3 inches…

Assumptions WILL screw up your whole day… Sigh…

At least his dad is now happy…

Went over to the trap range to get my normal humiliation, and miracle of miracles, I went 20/25 and 21/25!  I was accused of practicing, but I literally have NO idea why I’m suddenly so much better, as I haven’t shot a shotgun since the last time I got humiliated…

I’m just gonna chalk this one up to experience, and call it a day…

USS Constitution!!!

Posted on by March 6, 2013
Underway on sail power!!! 🙂

And of course I can’t find any damn pictures… sigh…  HERE is the only article I can find that shows it is from ENGLAND!!!

The U.S. Navy’s oldest commissioned warship sailed under its own power for just the second time in more than a century to commemorate the battle that won it the nickname “Old Ironsides.”
The USS Constitution, which was first launched in 1797, was tugged from its berth in Boston Harbor on Sunday to the main deepwater pathway into the harbor.

CDR Matt Bonner, CO #72, the crew, and 150 additional Navy personnel raised four sails,  and set out to open seas for a 17-minute cruise. They also fired a cannon in celebration of the win!

The sail honors the day two centuries ago when the USS Constitution bested the British frigate HMS Guerriere in the War of 1812; and is the first time the Constitution has been to sea on its own since its 200th birthday in 1997.

WTFO???

Posted on by March 6, 2013
A couple of different folks sent me this one in email…

I really don’t even know what to say on this one…  Just not a clue…

Milwaukee gun range voluntarily reporting customers to the local police

Story by Daivd LaPell.

Recently it came to my attention that there is a gun shop and gun range that has been reporting its users to the local police. These are not criminals, but law-abiding citizens. At first I could not imagine why someone would do this, but after doing some digging it became a little clearer.

First let’s get a little background on the gun range itself, Brew City Shooters Supply, which was previously known as Badger Guns and before that Badger Outdoors. Last year, these guys were considered top sellers of guns used in crimes by the West Milwaukee Police according to an article in the Milwaukee Journal Sentinel. The original owner of the store, Adam Allan had his FFL revoked by the BATFE and the store closed on Dec. 31, 2011.

…

Since 2009 under the last owner there have been roughly 25,000 names submitted to the West Milwaukee Police Department from Brew City Shooters Supply and previously Badger Guns. These names were submitted voluntarily by Brew City and as far as I can tell, without the knowledge of the users of the range. This year alone more than 8,000 names have been run and 47 of those have been flagged as requiring further investigation according to West Milwaukee Police Chief Dennis Nasci.



You can read the whole article HERE.

Would you ever darken their doorstep again???  I know I sure as hell wouldn’t…

Your thoughts?

h/t JP and Joe and Mikey

Dazed and Confused in Kalifornia…

Posted on by March 6, 2013
Have you ever wondered why folks in California appear so confused?  Consider this: 

Chief Heather Fong (left) is the first SFPD female lesbian Chief of Police.
Theresa Sparks (center), a former male, is president of the San Francisco Police Commission, CEO of a multimillion-dollar sex toy retailer and a transgender woman.
Sgt. Stephan Thorne (right), a former female, is the first transgender male SFPD police officer.
Their Representative in Congress is Nancy Pelosi and Obama is their go-to man.
ANY QUESTIONS?  Didn’t think so…

And the whole birth control thing???  I think this one pretty much says it all…

Breaking News…

Posted on by March 6, 2013
The Pity Train has just derailed at the intersection of Suck It Up and Move On, and crashed into We All Have Problems, before coming to a complete stop at Get the Hell Over It! 

Any complaints about how we operate can be forwarded to 1 800 Waa-waah. 

This live report courtesy of Quitchur Bitchin’ WQRB!

I’m truly getting sick and tired of the BS I’m hearing day in and day out…

You ARE responsible for your actions, regardless of what you’ve been told; and excuses DO NOT get it done!!!

I really don’t give a shit if your ‘feelings’ get hurt either… 

News to me…

Posted on by March 6, 2013
Another one from the Mil-email list…


HERE ARE LISTED, IN ALPHABETICAL ORDER, ALL THE DEVELOPED NATIONS OF THE WORLD THAT OFFER BIRTHRIGHT CITIZENSHIP TO THE BABIES OF TOURISTS AND ILLEGAL ALIENS:

1. United States of America

That’s right, every other modern developed nation in the world has gotten rid of birthright citizenship policies! Yet, during the last few months most of the U.S. news media and many politicians have ridiculed comments by other politicians that it is time for the U.S. to put an end to birthright citizenship for tourists and illegal aliens.

Folks, the U.S. stands alone.
There used to be all kinds of developed countries that gave away their citizenship as freely as we do in the U.S. But one by one, they all have recognized the folly of that policy.
SOME MODERN COUNTRIES THAT RECENTLY ENDED THEIR BIRTHRIGHT CITIZENSHIP POLICY:

* Canada was the last non-U.S …. holdout. Illegal aliens stopped getting citizenship for their babies in 2009

* Australia’s birthright citizenship requirements are much more stringent than those of H.R. 1868 and took effect in 2007

* New Zealand repealed in 2006

* Ireland repealed in 2005

* France repealed in 1993

* India repealed in 1987

* United Kingdom repealed in 1983

* Portugal repealed in 1981

The United States is now the laughing stock of the modern world.


Parkland Memorial Hospital in Dallas is a good example, 70% yes SEVEN ZERO percent of the babies born there in 2006 were to illegals… And WE paid for it! Link HERE!

Only the U.S. values its citizenship so lowly as to distribute it promiscuously to the off-spring of foreign citizens visiting Disney World on tourist visas and to foreign citizens who have violated their promises on their visitor, work and student visas to stay illegally in the country, as well as to those who just plain sneak across our borders.

It’s not just Mexico and South America who are sending illegals across our borders. Currently, the CBP reports that of those apprehended illegally crossing the border, China is number one.

We are giving away our culture, and economic and fiscal strength because our borders are not secure and we bestow citizenship irresponsibly. And the latest is the “Dream Act”, another vote buying scheme, and don’t forget about the ads in Spanish being aired in Mexico promising EBTs and welfare to illegals who come to the US…