Nobody Asked Me…

Today I swung my front door wide open and placed my Remington 12-gauge semi-auto shotgun right in the doorway.  I left 9 shells beside it, then left it alone and went about my business.

While I was gone, the mailman delivered my mail; the boy across the street mowed the yard; a girl walked her dog down the street; and quite a few cars stopped at the stop sign near the front of my house.

After about an hour, I checked on the gun. It was still sitting there, right where I had left it.  Imagine that! It hadn’t moved itself. It certainly hadn’t killed anyone, even with the numerous opportunities it had been presented to do so. In fact, it hadn’t even loaded  itself. How weird!

Well you can imagine my surprise, with all the hype by the Left and the Media about how dangerous guns are and how they kill people.

Either the media is wrong, or I’m in possession of the laziest gun in the world.

The United States is third in murders throughout the World.  But if you take out just four cities, i.e., Chicago, Detroit, Washington DC  and New Orleans, the United States is fourth from the bottom, in the entire world, for murders!

Do you like facts? These four Cities have the toughest Gun Control Laws in the U.S.  All four of these cities are controlled by Democrats.  Just imagine if you were to subtract out St. Louis, Baltimore, New Orleans and Detroit, all politically Democrat enclaves!

The USA might otherwise be the safest place on earth!

It would be absurd to draw any conclusions from this factual data – right?

Well, I’m off to check on my spoons. I hear they’re making people fat.

In other news, there are some arguments about shot placement…

So you get humor…

Mary Poppins was traveling home, but due to worsening weather, she decided to stop at a hotel for the night. She approached the receptionist and asked for a room for the night.

“Certainly madam,” he replied courteously.

“Is the restaurant open still?” inquired Mary.

“Sorry, no,” came the reply, “but room service is available all night. Would you care to select something from this menu?”

Mary smiled and took the menu and perused it. “Hmm, I would like cauliflower cheese please,” said Mary.

“Certainly, madam,” he replied.

“And can I have breakfast in bed?” asked Mary politely.

The receptionist nodded and smiled.

“In that case, I would love a couple of poached eggs, please,” Mary mused.

After confirming the order, Mary signed in and went up to her room for the night.

The night passed uneventfully and the next morning Mary came down early to check out. The same guy was still on the desk.

“Morning, madam. Sleep well?”

“Yes, thank you,” Mary replied.

“Food to your liking?”

“Well, I have to say the cauliflower cheese was exceptional, I don’t think I have had better. Shame about the eggs, though….they really weren’t that nice at all,” replied Mary truthfully.

“Oh…well, perhaps you could contribute these thoughts to our Guest Comments Book. We are always looking to improve our service and would value your opinion,” said the receptionist.

“OK, I will…thanks!” replied Mary….who checked out, then scribbled a comment into the book. Waving, she left to continue her journey.

Curious, the receptionist picked up the book to see the comment Mary had written.

“Supercauliflowercheesebuteggswerequiteatrocious!”

And I’m not saying it’s been hot in Texas… But…