From Tamara, who got it here:
1. Pick up the nearest book of 123 pages or more. No cheating!
2. Find page 123.
3. Find the first five sentences.
4. Post the next three sentences.
5. Tag five people.
Here’s my three sentences from Dan Jenkins “You call it sports, but I say it’s a jungle out there”:
Page 123 is actually a set of tables, so I jumped to the next text-
Think about it. There are 14 clubs, all of them diffeent. There are 18 holes, all of them different.
No tags, play along if you want to…
A bit of explanation here- The LAST thing a warfighter wants to drive is a desk, especially when there is a war on… That is one reason most staff tours are 18-24 months, to roll people out before they go off the deep end…
Having said that, there is another breed who want nothing more than staff duty to keep from having to make decisions, have their petty little empires, and stay off the front lines (back in the day, they were called REMFs).
The collection below comes from a warfighter at CENTCOM who has to attend a LOT of meetings in various places as part of his current staff tour. He is at the 19 month point and teetering on the edge of the diving board…
This is pretty long, but funny as hell, and having done a tour as a staff weenie, they are definitely believeable…
“Please don’t laugh. This is my job.” Maj (EUCOM) from Protocol, explaining in great detail the approved procedures for dropping off VIPs
“If we wait until the last minute to do it, it’ll only take a minute.” MAJ (EUCOM)
“The only reason that anything ever gets done is because there are pockets of competence in every command. The key is to find them…and then exploit the hell out of ’em.” CDR (CENTCOM)
“We are condemned men who are chained and will row in place until we rot.” LtCol (CENTCOM) on life at his Command
“Right now we’re pretty much the ham in a bad ham sandwich…” GO/FO (EUCOM)
“Let’s face it: Africa sucks…” DOS representative (Bureau of African Affairs) at a conference on Africa
“I’ll be right back. I have to go pound my nuts flat…” Lt Col (EUCOM) after being assigned a difficult tasker
“OK, this is too stupid for words.” LTC (JS)
“When you get right up to the line that you’re not supposed to cross, the only person in front of you will be me!” CDR (CENTCOM) on his view of the value of being politically correct in today’s military
“There’s nothing wrong with crossing that line a little bit, it’s jumping over it buck naked that will probably get you in trouble…” Lt Col (EUCOM) responding to the above
“I may be slow, but I do poor work…” MAJ (USAREUR)
“Don’t ever be the first…don’t ever be the last…and don’t ever volunteer to do anything….” CDR (EUCOM) relating an ancient Navy truism
“Hey, somebody should really do that…” CDR (CENTCOM) on the CENTCOM tasking process
“Cynicism is the smoke that rises from the ashes of burned out dreams.” Maj (CENTCOM) on the daily thrashings delivered to AOs at his Command
“WE are the reason that Rumsfeld hates us…” LTC (EUCOM) doing some standard, Army self-flagellation
“South of the Alps and East of the Adriatic, paranoia is considered mental equilibrium…” and “The chance of success in these talks is the same as the number of “R’s” in “fat chance…”” GS-15 (SHAPE)
“His knowledge on that topic is only power point deep…” MAJ (JS)
“We have no position on that issue. In fact, your position IS our position. Could you tell us what our position is?” CDR (TRANSCOM) at a policy SVTC
“Ya know, in this Command, if the world were supposed to end tomorrow, it would still happen behind schedule.” CWO4 (ret) (EUCOM)
“Never pet a burning dog.” LTC (Tennessee National Guard)
“I need intelligence, not information.” Maj (EUCOM)
“We are now past the good idea cutoff point…” MAJ (JS) on the fact that somebody always tries to “fine tune” a COA with more “good ideas”
“Nobody ever said you had to be smart to make 0-6.” Col (EUCOM)
“Accuracy and attention to detail take a certain amount of time.”
“No need to tip our hand as to how responsive we can be.” CDR (EUCOM) in a passdown to his replacement
“I seem to be rapidly approaching the apex of my mediocre career.” MAJ (JS)
“I just realized that this War on Terror might take a little longer than we thought, so I am developing a new system of hanging charts on walls to solve our problem and win the war.” LTC (EUCOM) after a review of long range Counter Terrorism (CT) plans
“Much work remains to be done before we can announce our total failure to make any progress.”
“None of us is as dumb as all of us.” Excerpted from a brief (EUCOM)
“It’s not a lot of work unless you have to do it.” LTC (EUCOM)
“Creating smoking holes gives our lives meaning and enhances our manliness.” LTC (EUCOM) at a CT conference
“Everyone should have an equal chance, but not everyone is equal.”
“I am so far down the food chain that I’ve got plankton bites on my butt.”
“Once you accept that a dog is a dog, you can’t get upset when it barks.” Lt Col (USSOCOM)
“That guy just won’t take ‘yes’ for an answer.” MAJ (EUCOM)
“When all else fails, simply revel in the absurdity of it all.” LCDR (CENTCOM)
“Never attribute to malice that which can be ascribed to sheer stupidity.” LTC (CENTCOM)
“I hear so much about Ft. Bragg. Where is it?” “It’s in the western part of southeastern North Carolina.” LCDR and CPT (EUCOM)
“I’ve become the master of nodding my head and acting like I give a sh!t, and then instantly forgetting what the hell a person was saying the moment they walk away.” Flag-level Executive A$$istant
“Mark my words, this internet thing is gonna catch on someday.” LTC (EUCOM)
“You’re not a loser. You’re just not my kind of winner…” GS-14 (OSD)
“He who strives for the minimum rarely attains it.” GS-12 (DOS)
“I’m tired of waiting on somebody who I know is just going to ignore me once they arrive.” Lt Col (EUCOM), while waiting to start a brief for a visiting Congressman
“If I’d had more time, I’da written a shorter brief…” Derived from the writings of Mark Twain
“You only know as much as you don’t know.” GO (EUCOM)
“Hello gentlemen. Are we in today or are you just ignoring my request?” GS-15 (DSCA) in an email to EUCOM staffers
“After seeing the way this place works, I bet that Mickey Mouse wears a EUCOM watch.” Maj (EUCOM)
“That’s FUBIJAR.” COL (CENTCOM), Fu–ed Up, But I’m Just a Reservist…
“As far as I’m concerned, I’m the only one that matters in here.” COL (CENTCOM)
“This is all happening because we had the sympathetic detonation of a stress grenade.” Maj (EUCOM) after an insignificant issue became a theater focus because somebody used the “Reply all” function
“Nothing is too good for you guys…and that’s exactly what you’re gonna get…” LTC (EUCOM) describing the way Army policy is formulated
“The only thing that sucks worse than being me is being you…” LTC (EUCOM)
“I have to know what I don’t know…” Col (CENTCOM) during a shift changeover briefing
“No. Now I’m simply confused at a higher level…” Foreign GO/FO when asked if he had any questions following a transformation brief at JFCOM
“‘Leaning forward’ is really just the first phase of ‘falling on your face.'” Col (MARFOREUR)
“We’ve got to start collaborating between the collaboration systems.”
“We’re from the nuke shop, sir. We’re the crazy aunt in the closet that nobody likes to talk about …” Lt Col to GO/FO (EUCOM) in briefings
“We the willing, led by the unknowing, are doing the impossible for the ungrateful. We have done so much for so long with so little, that we are now qualified to do anything with nothing.” Anonymous, but classic…
“The ‘L’ in CENTCOM stands for leadership…”
“At this Command, we have written in large, black letters: DNR (Do Not Resuscitate) on the back of our security badges.” Maj (CENTCOM)
“He cloaked himself in an impenetrable veneer of terminology.” Lt Col (JFCOM) describing the Jiffiecom alpha male
“Transformation has long been the buzzword for those that are dispossessed, dispirited and disillusioned…” Chaplain (EUCOM), allegedly talking about the Disciples…
I have been tagged by Fire Fox with a meme and against my better judgement I have said I would participate.
Here are the rules if you decide to play along:
1) Link to your tagger and post these rules on your blog.
2) Share 7 facts about yourself on your blog, some random, some weird.
3) Tag 7 people at the end of your post by leaving their names as well as links to their blogs.
4) Let them know they are tagged by leaving a comment on their blog.
a. I am an only child, but a third child (my parents raised my two cousins after their parents were killed in a car wreck).
b. I rebuilt my first car at age 10 (with my Grandfather’s help/direction)
c. I’m 10 pounds over weight… dammit…
d. I grew up with guns and love to shoot, but don’t hunt anymore because I got tired of getting shot at (wearing blaze orange, three of us crossing a fire road and a dumbass 300 yards away shot three times at us, not once but TWICE).
e. I’m on a first name basis with WAY too many pilots and flight attendants.
f. I do not believe government handouts work- I’m a strong proponent of individual responsibility and taking advantage of the opportunities available in the USA. I have lived/worked all over the world in the last 38 years, and am REALLY happy to be a US citizen.
g. I read over 200 books a year on multiple subjects.
One of CNN’s British hot shots gets nailed in Central Park; any bets this won’t get covered by CNN worldwide???
Here is the link to the full article… /snicker/
This is CNN?
CNN personality Richard Quest was busted in Central Park early yesterday with some drugs in his pocket, a rope around his neck that was tied to his genitals, and a sex toy in his boot, law-enforcement sources said.
Quest, 46, was arrested at around 3:40 a.m. after a cop spotted him and another man inside the park near 64th Street, a police source said.
The criminal complaint against Quest said the park was closed at the time – something Quest should have known because of all the signs saying “Park Closed 1 a.m. to 6 a.m.”
Quest was initially busted for loitering, the source said. Aside from the oddly configured rope, the search also turned up a sex toy inside of his boot, and a small bag of methamphetamine in his left jacket pocket.
It wasn’t immediately clear what the rope was for.
Yes, that stands for Just Another $%^*& Monday… sigh…
A blog worth reading is William the Coroner, an interesting perspective on life.
Go check it out!
Meetings from 0830-1730, then an ass chewing for not getting my ‘work’ done… Well, gee- I mean it’s not like I didn’t have things to do, people to see, places to go- No, I was trapped in meetings with various entities DOING my job… ARGHHHHH!!!
A little truth in advertizing for B. Hussein…
I find it really interesting that he NEVER talks about being raised by his white Grandparents after his father abandoned his mother, she remarried and moved to Hawaii and basically dumped him on his Grandparents…
Also, if he were to get elected, he would NOT be the first black President, he would be the first Mulatto President…
Mulatto (Spanish mulato, small mule, person of mixed race, mulatto, from mulo, mule, from Old Spanish, from Latin mūlus.) is a person of mixed black and white ancestry or the offspring of one white parent and one black parent or someone 50% black and 50% white.
Although this word is acceptable to some people in certain cultural contexts, other people in other cultural contexts may find it to be offensive and unacceptable.
On a lighter note- THIS is a man cave 🙂 1600 sq foot walk in vault in the basement just ‘filled’ with toys…
And this one just falls into the oh, damn… category! Should have checked the kid’s drawing BEFORE letting him take it to school…
Is this #$%^^ election cycle over YET????
Billary and B. Hussein are locked in a lying match, er… contest in PA that is just getting more and more outlandish as the days go on, so to deflect media, Howie (hear me scream) Dean is now saying that McCain can’t be a good president because he has a TEMPER???
And of course that is front page for the MSM… sigh…
Although, this should keep Billary in the race, since she has a 3 point lead (with a margin of error of 4 points) so more split votes.
Which will make this year’s democrap convention worth watching for the comedy hi-lights (even better than Comedy Central, since it’s real); and will probably be an even greater draw than the 68 demolition, er… democrap convention in Chicago 🙂
I wish I could afford to take a full page add out in the paper- If I could, it would say this:
What ever happened to role models who said what the believed and then stood by their beliefs????
Kicking the soapbox back in the corner now, and going to look for the aspirin…
Nice little ways to relieve stress- After two weeks of being the statue, I needed a break…
1 * Accept that some days you’re the pigeon, and some days you’re the statue
2 * Always keep your words soft and sweet, just in case you have to eat them.
3 * Always read stuff that will make you look good if you die in the middle of it.
4 * Drive carefully. It’s not only cars that can be recalled by their Maker.
5 * If you can’t be kind, at least have the decency to be vague.
6 * If you lend someone $20 and never see that person again, it was probably worth it.
7 * It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others.
8 * Never buy a car you can’t push.
9 * Never put both feet in your mouth at the same time, because then you won’t have a leg to stand on.
10 * Nobody cares if you can’t dance well. Just get up and dance.
11 * Since it’s the early worm that gets eaten by the bird, sleep late.
12 * The second mouse gets the cheese.
13 * When everything’s coming your way, you’re in the wrong lane.
14 * Birthdays are good for you. The more you have, the longer you live.
15 * You may be only one person in the world, but you may also be the world to one person.
16 * Some mistakes are too much fun to only make once.
17 * We could learn a lot from crayons. Some are sharp, some are pretty and some are dull. Some have weird names and all are different colors, but they all have to live in the same box .
18 * A truly happy person is one who can enjoy the scenery on a detour.
CITATION: For extraordinary heroism and outstanding performance of duty in action against enemy forces in the Republic of Vietnam from 15 November 1967 to 2 July 1968. Throughout this period, Observation Squadron SIXTY-SEVEN (VO-67), operating in the Republic of South Vietnam, successfully executed its primary mission of providing quick reaction, close air support, and combat logistics support for United States and Vietnamese military forces. In the face of extremely harsh climatic conditions at a remote operating base, while sustaining extensive operating damage and losses, the flight crews and ground support personnel of VO-67 carried out their highly important and extremely sensitive missions with outstanding skill and dedication. The Squadron flew countless missions implanting newly developed sensors to detect enemy movement. The support provided by VO-67 was instrumental in supplying real-time intelligence regarding the movement of North Vietnamese troops and supplies, which enabled U.S. Forces to prevent the total invasion of the U.S. Marine Combat Base at Khe Sanh during the Tet Offensive and contributed to saving countless lives. The squadron’s operations were consistently characterized by prudent tactics while maintaining meticulous adherence to the rules of engagement, ensuring maximum deterrence of the enemy with minimum risk to friendly troops and civilians. VO-67′ s successful initiation of this new mission provided a significant and vital contribution to the art of warfare. By their outstanding courage, resourcefulness, and aggressive fighting spirit in combat against a frequently well-equipped, well-trained, and often numerically superior enemy, the officers and enlisted personnel of Observation Squadron SIXTY-SEVEN reflected great credit upon themselves and upheld the highest traditions of the United States Naval Service.
Go check out Marko’s blog for the gun is civilization– Outstanding read!!!!