Why Pilots Prefer Airplanes Over Women…

* Airplanes usually kill you quickly; a woman takes her time.

* Airplanes can be turned on by a flick of a switch.

* Airplanes don’t get mad if you do a “touch and go.”

* Airplanes don’t object to a pre-flight inspection.

* Airplanes come with a manual to explain their operation.

* Airplanes have strict weight and balance limitations.

* Airplanes can be flown at any time of the month.

* Airplanes don’t come with in-laws.

* Airplanes don’t care about how many other airplanes you’ve flown before.

* Airplanes and pilots both arrive at the same time.

* Airplanes don’t mind if you look at other airplanes.

* Airplanes don’t mind if you buy airplane magazines.

* Airplanes expect to be tied down.

* Airplanes don’t comment on your piloting skills.

* Airplanes don’t whine unless something is really wrong.

* However, when airplanes go quiet, just like women, it’s usually not good.

And a tribute to a great old airplane!!!  Ode to a DHC-2!

Blame JP for these… 🙂

And a bonus one-  Starting any radial is ‘interesting’… Not anywhere near as simple as a Jet…  Just sayin…  This one is for Brigid! 🙂

Note- We used to count blades, 3-4 turns equates to 9-12 blades which is the same thing we used starting the 1820’s and 3350’s… And it usually takes about 5-15 minutes for the engine to actually get up to operating temps…

We’re ALL getting there, some of us faster than others…

A distraught senior citizen phoned her doctor’s office.
“Is it true,” she wanted to know, “that the medication you prescribed has to be taken for the rest of my life?”

“‘Yes, I’m afraid so,”‘ the doctor told her.

There was a moment of silence before the senior lady replied, “I’m wondering, then, just how serious is my condition because this prescription is marked
‘NO REFILLS’..”
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An older gentleman was on the operating table awaiting surgery and he insisted that his son, a renowned surgeon, perform the operation.

As he was about to get the anesthesia, he asked to speak to his son.
“Yes, Dad , what is it?”

“Don’t be nervous, son; do your best, and just remember, if it doesn’t go well, if something happens to me, your mother is going to come and live with you and your wife….”
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Aging:
Eventually you will reach a point when you stop lying about your age and start bragging about it.

This is so true. I love to hear them say “you don’t look that old.”
———————————
The older we get, the fewer things
seem worth waiting in line for.
———————————
Some people try to turn back their odometers.  Not me!
I want people to know why I look this way.
I’ve traveled a long way and some of the roads weren’t paved.
********************
When you are dissatisfied and would like to go back to youth,
think of Algebra.
——————————-
One of the many things no one tells you about aging
is that it is such a nice change from being young.
~~~~~~~~~~~
Ah, being young is beautiful,
but being old is comfortable.
*********
First you forget names, then you forget faces.
Then you forget to pull up your zipper…
it’s worse when you forget to pull it down.
““““““““
Two guys, one old, one young, are pushing their carts around Wal-Mart when they collide.  The old guy says to the young guy, “Sorry about that. I’m looking for my wife, and I guess I wasn’t paying attention to where I was going.”

The young guy says, “That’s OK, it’s a coincidence. I’m looking for my wife, too…
I can’t find her and I’m getting a little desperate.”

The old guy says, “Well, maybe I can help you find her… what does she look like?”

The young guy says, “Well, she is 27 yrs. old,tall, with red hair, blue eyes, is buxom…wearing no bra, long legs, and is wearing short shorts.

What does your wife look like?’

To which the old guy says,”Doesn’t matter, — let’s look for yours.”