A little humor…

To start your week…

One to think about…

Young King Arthur was ambushed and imprisoned by the monarch of a neighboring kingdom. The monarch could have killed him but was moved by Arthur’s youth and ideals. So, the monarch offered him his freedom, as long as he could answer a very difficult question. Arthur would have a year to figure out the answer and, if, after a year, he still had no answer, he would be put to death.

The question?…What do women really want? Such a question would perplex even the most knowledgeable man, and to young Arthur, it seemed an impossible query. But, since it was better than death, he accepted the monarch’s proposition to have an answer by year’s end.

He returned to his kingdom and began to poll everyone: the princess, the priests, the wise men and even the court jester. He spoke with everyone, but no one could give him a satisfactory answer.

Many people advised him to consult the old ugly woman, for only she would have the answer.

But the price would be high; as the woman was famous throughout the kingdom for the exorbitant prices she charged.

The last day of the year arrived and Arthur had no choice but to talk to the old woman. She agreed to answer the question, but he would have
to agree to her price first.

The old ugly woman wanted to marry Sir Lancelot, the most noble of the Knights of the Round Table and Arthur’s closest friend!

Young Arthur was horrified. She was hunchbacked and hideous, had only one tooth, smelled like sewage, made obscene noises, etc. He had never encountered such a repugnant creature in all his life.

He refused to force his friend to marry her and endure such a terrible burden; but Lancelot, learning of the proposal, spoke with Arthur.

He said nothing was too big of a sacrifice compared to Arthur’s life and the preservation of the Round Table.

Hence, a wedding was proclaimed and the woman answered Arthur’s question thus:

What a woman really wants, she answered….is to be in charge of her own life.

Everyone in the kingdom instantly knew that the woman had uttered a great truth and that Arthur’s life would be spared.

And so it was, the neighboring monarch granted Arthur his freedom and Lancelot and the ugly woman had a wonderful wedding.

The honeymoon hour approached and Lancelot, steeling himself for a horrific experience, entered the bedroom. But, what a sight awaited him. The most beautiful woman he had ever seen lay before him on the bed. The astounded Lancelot asked what had happened.

The young beauty replied that since he had been so kind to her when she appeared ugly, she would henceforth, be her horrible deformed self only half the time and the beautiful maiden the other half.

Which would he prefer? Beautiful during the day….or night?

Lancelot pondered the predicament. During the day, a beautiful woman to show off to his friends, but at night, in the privacy of his castle, an old ugly woman? Or, would he prefer having a hideous woman during the day, but by night, a beautiful woman for him to enjoy wondrous intimate moments?

What would YOU do?

What Lancelot chose is below.

BUT….make YOUR choice before you scroll down below.

OKAY?

Noble Lancelot said that he would allow HER to make the choice herself.

Upon hearing this, she announced that she would be beautiful all the time because he had respected her enough to let her be in charge of her own life.

Now….what is the moral to this story?

The moral is- If you don’t let a woman have her own way… Things are going to get ugly…

Y’all have a good week!

Book promo…

First up is Cedar Sanderson with a prequel short to her Tanager series- The Luminous Citadel of New Atlantis 

As always, click on the cover for the Amazon link!

The blurb-

A Hollow World Defies Known Science…
Wilt Frobisher seizes the chance to join an expedition to the Luminous Citadel—an enigmatic moon orbiting a shattered planet—leaving behind everything he’s ever known. What he finds inside the hollow impossible world staggers the imagination: a lush, gravity-defying biosphere teeming with ancient trees, mysterious inhabitants, and ugly secrets hiding in the shadows.

Guided by the fearless Dione—a red-haired native with a knack for flight and a language all her own—Wilt plunges into a realm where survival depends on mastering the strange currents of an alien ecology. Questions arise the more he bonds with Dione and her people. Who built this refuge? Why was it abandoned? And what does his mentor, the eccentric Dr. Sooma, know that he’s not telling?

In a world of treetop villages, floating acorns, and lurking dangers, Wilt must uncover the truth of the Citadel—or risk becoming part of its forgotten history.

Next up is Pam Uphoff with a new short in her Chronicles of the Fall series- In Plain Sight

The blurb-

A short story taking place after the Fall

Bryanne Volkov is sixteen and moving from a small town to the capital of the Alliance, as her Grandfather is about to become the head of the entire Volkov Family. And her new home is not much like what she expected . . . the servants, odd, and an Executioner much too interested in the family.

Last but not least, Raconteur Press is up with the latest anthology- Plasma Pulp

The blurb-

Interplanetary evil. Ray guns. Swords. Good guys who are good; bad guys who are bad; and beautiful damsels.

Unfortunately—as things go—the interplanetary evil empire swords and rayguns kind of pulp fell out of favor, and it’s hard to find anyone writing it these days.. Until Now. These tales will delight, astound, and weird you out, which is what they’re supposed to do. Sit back and embrace the strange!

Highly recommend all of them!!!

Ummm…errr…

They Walk Among Us!

I was at the checkout at Walmart, minding my own business, when the cashier rang up my total: $46.64. I handed her a crisp $50 bill. She looked me dead in the eye, gave me back $46.64, and continued scanning items like a professional.

Me: “Uh… I think there’s a mistake.”

Her: huffing dramatically “Sir, I am educated. I know what I’m doing.”

She pushed the money back at me like I was trying to scam her.

So, I did what any reasonable person would do—I gave it back.

She, once again, pushed it right back at me with extra attitude.

I shrugged, picked up my bags, and walked out with $46.64 in my pocket. a

They Walk Among Us…

I walked into Starbucks with a “Buy-One-Get-One-Free” coupon for a Grande Latte. The barista studied it like it was the Declaration of Independence, then turned to a chalkboard that read “Buy One, Get One Free.”

Her eyes lit up. “Oh! So that means… they’re both free!”

She happily handed me two free lattes.

I didn’t argue. I just walked out, sipping my victory.

They Walk Among Us…

One day, I was strolling along the beach with some friends when one of them gasped dramatically, pointed ahead, and yelled:

“Look! A dead bird!”

Another friend immediately looked up at the sky and asked, “Where?”

I just… I had no words.

They Walk Among Us…

My brother was house hunting and asked the real estate agent which direction was north. He explained that he didn’t want the sun waking him up every morning.

The agent furrowed her brow. “Wait… does the sun rise in the north?”

My brother, thinking she was joking, laughed.

She was not joking.

He gently explained that the sun rises in the east… and, you know, has been doing that for quite a while now.

She shook her head and said, “Oh, I don’t keep up with all that stuff.”

I… I had to walk away.

They Walk Among Us…

Back when I worked in a 24/7 call center, a guy called and asked:

“What hours are you open?”

Me: “Sir, we’re open 24 hours a day, 7 days a week.”

Him: “Okay, but is that Eastern or Pacific time?”

I stared at my screen for a solid 10 seconds before replying:

“Uh… Pacific.”

He thanked me and hung up, probably feeling proud of himself.

They Walk Among Us…

My sister has one of those emergency seatbelt cutters in her car—designed to save her life if she ever gets trapped.

She keeps it in the trunk.

They Walk Among Us…

My friends and I went to buy beer for a party. The store had a 10% discount on cases. Since we were professionals, we grabbed two cases.

The cashier did some quick mental math.

“Oh, two cases? That’s 10% + 10%… so you get 20% off!”

We all nodded and quietly accepted our new financial advisor.

They Walk Among Us…

At the airport, I couldn’t find my luggage, so I went to the lost baggage counter.

Me: “My bags never showed up.”

The lady smiled reassuringly. “Don’t worry, sir! I’m a trained professional. Now… has your plane landed yet?”

I blinked.

Me: “Nope, we’re still circling the airport. The pilot told us we’re third in line to land.”

Her: “Oh! Okay, well, come back after you land.”

…Sure thing, genius.

They Walk Among Us…

While working at a pizza place, I watched a man order a small pizza to-go.

Cook: “Would you like that cut into four or six slices?”

The man thought long and hard before replying:

“Better make it four. I don’t think I’m hungry enough to eat six.”

Bless their hearts. They Walk Among Us…

Y’all have a good weekend!

Sigh…

When I served in the Navy in the 70s, 80s, and early 90s, my life was in the hands of black, brown, red, yellow and white men and women. We were friends, we were loyal to each other, we were Shipmates and we had each other’s back when the hammer slammed the anvil. We trained, we sweated, and we bled together. We came together from all parts of the country; we came together from all religions. We were a society unto ourselves.

We worked as a team, a well-oiled machine. We fought for our brothers and sisters through thick and thin. We didn’t have ‘quotas’ or anything else, all we had was people who were willing and qualified to do our jobs. We protected each other, that was what we did. The only color we saw was Navy Blue.

Today, sadly, that isn’t happening… Hopefully, things will start swinging back to that ethos and away from the games that have gone on the last fifteen years.

Idiots…

I’m sad to say I’m embarrassed by the conduct of the Dems at last night’s State of the Union speech.

Multiple Democrats caused disruptions before and during President Trump’s speech to a joint session of Congress on Tuesday despite calls from many in the party not to do so. 

Shortly into Trump’s speech, Dem. Rep. Al Green stood up and began shouting at the president and waving his cane at him. 

Members are engaging in willful and continuing breach of decorum, and the chair is prepared to direct the sergeant at arms to restore order to the joint session,” House Speaker Mike Johnson said in response to the jeers from the crowd. 

Full article, HERE from Fox News. and more from PJ Media, HERE.

And there is this… sigh…

I know TDS is strong, but these people have literally gone off the deep end.

I just hope people do not get any stupider. We need to be pulling together right now, for the betterment of the USA, not playing stupid partisan games.

Kicking the soapbox back in the corner and going to find my BP meds…

Strange…

To put it mildly…

At least one person is dead after a car was driven into a crowd of people in Mannheim, Germany. At least two dozen people were injured in the attack, as well. 

“So far, we can give no more information about the number and severity of the injuries,” the local police force said, per The Times. “During the manhunt, which was initiated immediately, we were able to identify and detain a suspect.”

According to The Times, the driver is believed to be a German citizen and was taken to a hospital for treatment. There’s no information available yet about his motive. 

Full article, HERE from Town Hall.

Two weeks ago it was Munich. And it’s strange that all of a sudden the Germans ‘don’t know who is doing it’. Brings to mind a lot of papers here who refuse to ‘note’ ethnicity in ‘certain’ cases.

Have they suddenly changed their tune, or are they on the way to Jackboots???

I don’t know.

In other news, finally got my MRI late yesterday, so went to bed early…

A little humor…

Since it’s ‘almost’ spring and golf season…

  1. Eighteen holes of match play will teach you more about your foe than 18 years of dealing with him across a desk.
    ~ Grantland Rice

    2. Golf appeals to the idiot in us and the child. Just how childlike golf players become is proven by their frequent inability to count past five.
    ~ John Updike

    3. It is almost impossible to remember how tragic a place the world is when one is playing golf.
    ~ Robert Lynd

    4. If profanity had any influence on the flight of the ball, the game of golf would be played far better than it is.
    ~ Horace G. Hutchinson

    5. They say golf is like life, but don’t believe them. Golf is more complicated than that.
    ~ Gardner Dickinson

    6. If a lot of people gripped a knife and fork as poorly as they do a golf club, they’d starve to death.
    ~ Sam Snead

    7. Golf is a day spent in a round of strenuous idleness.
    ~ William Wordsworth

    8. If you drink, don’t drive. Don’t even putt.
    ~ Dean Martin

    9. If you are going to throw a club, it is important to throw it ahead of you, down the fairway, so you don’t have to waste energy going back to pick it up.
    ~ Tommy Bolt

    10. Man blames fate for all other accidents, but feels personally responsible when he makes a hole-in-one.
    ~ Bishop Sheen

    11. I don’t say my golf game is bad, but if I grew tomatoes, they’d come up sliced.
    ~ Arnold Palmer

    12. My handicap? Woods and irons.
    ~ Chris Codiroli

    13. The ardent golfer would play Mount Everest if somebody would put a flag stick on top.
    ~ Pete Dye

    14. I’m hitting the woods just great, but having a terrible time getting out of them!
    ~ Buddy Hackett

    15. The only time my prayers are never answered is playing golf.
    ~ Billy Graham

    16. If you think it’s hard to meet new people, try picking up the wrong golf ball.
    ~ Jack Lemmon

    17. It’s good sportsmanship to not pick up lost golf balls while they are still rolling.
    ~ Mark Twain

    18. Don’t play too much golf. Two rounds a day are plenty.
    ~ Harry Vardon

    19. Golf and sex are the only things you can enjoy without being good at either of them.
    ~ Jimmy DeMaret

    20. May thy ball lie in green pastures, and not in still waters.
    ~ Ben Hogan

    21. If I hit it right, it’s a slice. If I hit it left, it’s a hook. If I hit it straight, it’s a miracle.
    ~ All Us Hackers

    22. The difference in golf and government is that in golf you can’t improve your lie.
    ~ George Deukmejian

    AND FINALLY……………

  2. Golf is a game invented by the same people who think music comes out of a bagpipe.
    ~ Lee Trevino

+++++++++

Ten Best Caddy Comebacks. . .

Number :10

Golfer: “I think I’m going to drown myself in the lake.”

Caddy: “Think you can keep your head down that long?”

Number : 9

Golfer: “I’d move heaven and earth to break 100 on this course.”

Caddy: “Try heaven, you’ve already moved most of the earth.”

Number : 8

Golfer: “Do you think my game is improving?”

Caddy: “Yes . . . . You miss the ball much closer now.”

Number : 7

Golfer: “Do you think I can get there with a 5 iron?”

Caddy: “Eventually.”

Number : 6

Golfer: “You’ve got to be the worst caddy in the world.”

Caddy: “I don’t think so . . . .That would be too much of a coincidence.”

Number : 5

Golfer: “Please stop checking your watch all the time. It’s too much of a distraction.”

Caddy: “it’s a compass.”

Number : 4

Golfer: “How do you like my game?”

Caddy: “It’s very good – but personally, I prefer golf.”

Number : 3

Golfer: “Do you think it’s a sin to play on Sunday?

Caddy: “The way you play, it’s a sin on any day.”

Number : 2

Golfer: “This is the worst course I’ve ever played on.”

Caddy: “This isn’t the golf course . . . . We left that an hour ago.”

And the Number : 1 . . . . Best Caddy Comeback:

Golfer: “That can’t be my ball, it’s too old.”

Caddy: “It’s been a long time since we teed off, sir.”

Y’all have a good week!

They have…

Lost their tiny ass minds…

Lawmakers in Maryland have put forward a bill that would make condoms available throughout elementary schools in the state. 

The controversial bill was introduced by Democrat Del. Nicole Williams of Prince George’s County. The legislation, Bill 380 would repeal a ban on condoms and other forms of contraception being available within vending machines at kindergarten, nursery, elementary or secondary public schools.

Maryland’s House of Delegates advanced the bill on Friday, 89-41. It now is headed to the Democrat-controlled Senate.

Full article, HERE from Town Hall.

What’s next? Birth control for the girls (equal opportunity and all that)

Tampons in the boy’s bathrooms? Sex ed? Kama Sutra required reading? Teacher demonstrations???

I cannot understand what they think they are accomplishing with this. I guess I’m not twisted enough…

Having been a parent of two daughters, I know the pressures they get as soon as they start ‘developing’ and become ‘prey’ for a segment of the male population. My oldest daughter was caught up in that mess, and it affects her to this day.

I also remember my neighbor who had two daughters who went through puberty ‘early’, at 11 and 12, and by the time the oldest was 13, she looked 18, was fighting off adult males, and ended up with both of them homeschooled to protect them from the predators out there. They literally didn’t get to be little girls and enjoy the toys, dolls, and things like that due to their development and looks.

And all four of us that lived in that condo building became surrogate parents to those girls as necessary, including running men off who kept driving by.

One hopes the parents in MD pull their kids from these schools and/or move out of state. The children’s lives are more precious than staying in that environment, especially when the government is pushing it…

Kicking the soap box back in the corner now… Grrrr…

Grrrr…

All I can say is ‘he’ better hope the parents never get hold of his ass…

Fairfax County Commonwealth’s Attorney Steve Descano allegedly declined to prosecute a registered sex offender because the man’s transgender identity and a county policy shielded him from any wrongdoing.

Richard Cox was arrested in December of 2024 in Arlington County after several parents claimed a man had exposed himself to young girls in the Arlington Aquatic Center women’s locker room, which shares facilities with Washington Liberty-High School. The man, who claims to be a transgender woman, was also allegedly caught exposing himself in several other locations throughout Arlington and Fairfax counties over the course of several months but was not charged by Descano due to the county’s policy allowing facility use based on gender identity, according to police records obtained by ABC  7 News.

Full article, HERE.

This guy is a registered sex offender, now claiming to be ‘trans’… And this leftie DA is letting him get away with it. This issue just ‘might’ get solved by an SSS event, but I doubt it.

And frankly, I’m NOT surprised that this is going on in Fairfax County. After all, it is Northern Virginia, a hotbed for the leftists and has been for years. A lot of hardcore Dems up there hate anything that threatens ‘their’ agenda, including concealed carry, the sex offender registry, and illegal aliens being arrested (don’t want to lose that ‘cheep’ help).

At the same time, they will call for a cab and ‘specify’ that the driver must be an American (told to me by one of the drivers that took me out to Dulles once).

They are the epitome of rules for thee, none for me…

Frankly, I am SO glad I’m no longer working up there for many reasons!!!

 

Interesting…

It appears the WAPO is getting ‘new’ directions…

Amazon founder and owner of The Washington Post Jeff Bezos announced a new direction for the paper Wednesday morning as a reckoning among the media in a new Trump era continues. 

“I’m writing to let you know about a change coming to our opinion pages. We are going to be writing every day in support and defense of two pillars: personal liberties and free markets. We’ll cover other topics too of course, but viewpoints opposing those pillars will be left to be published by others,” Bezos wrote in a letter to Washington Post employees and posted on X. “There was a time when a newspaper, especially one that was a local monopoly, might have seen it as a service to bring to the reader’s doorstep every morning a broad-based opinion section that sought to cover all views. Today, the internet does that job.”

“I am of America and for America, and proud to be so. Our country did not get here by being typical. And a big part of America’s success has been freedom in the economic realm and everywhere else.

Full article, HERE from Town Hall.

The WAPO, like most of the ‘major’ papers has been bleeding subscribers and advertising dollars for years.

And the WAPO was fully ‘invested’ in the leftist agenda, parroting the words/phrases/talking points of the left since at least 2008. Apparently, Bezos doesn’t like losing money and has made a decision that will be, to put it mildly, VERY unpopular with not only the staff but also with the Washington, DC insiders…

Is this going to be too little, too late?

I don’t know, but the results, if we see any, will be interesting to put it mildly…

The other question that comes to mind is what is Bezos really trying to do???

I don’t have a clue. how about y’all???