My back had finally had enough last night and decided to spasm on me…
It was bad enough that even after taking the cheep stuff I had at home, I decided to go to the ER, because I was hurting that badly.
Drug my ass out to the truck, and away I went. Got there, stood (well, stooped) patiently in line, finally got up to the admissions window and the lady behind the window asked what was wrong.
I told her back pain, and handed her my ID and insurance card (company one, not O-care). About that time a nurse came walking by, looked at me and asked what was wrong. I told her BACK pain, she asked if there was an radiating pain, and I made the mistake of saying yes…
Two minutes later, I’m in a cube with a gown on the wrong way, ass hanging out and getting hooked up to a 12 lead and being told to ‘relax’…
Yeah, right… Back is killing me, I’m trying to twist and get some relief, and the cute little nurse is asking me something…
High pitched voice, which I can’t hear real well, and apparently every time I twist, I’m partially pulling the connection to the leads loose which is making the monitor go bat nuts…
Another administrator comes in and wants to verify all my info, so everything stopped until I’d made him happy. And he was happy I had ‘real’ insurance…
The cute nurse leaves and a couple of minutes later this older male nurse comes in, does a blood draw, sets up an IV and comments, “Retired Navy huh?”
I tell him yeah, tell him my back is the problem, not anything else, and he just looks at me. I twist again and popped the whole connection loose, and he fixes it, suddenly is nice and quiet in the cube, and he just looks at me…
Doc comes in about ten minutes later, asks what’s going on; I tell him my BACK is killing me, I’ve got herniated discs and am in therapy, which I haven’t had in two weeks; and yes I do get radiating pain from the herniated disc in the neck. He nods and asks if I’ve been flying anywhere lately…
After I get through laughing, he looks at me and I say well, THIS week or the last two weeks. He says humor him, last two weeks. I tell him and he just shakes his head…
Next thing I know, I’m in Xray, and DAMN that plate was COLD!!!
The male nurse comes back in, says he’s a retired Corpsman, working on his PA and doing this for extra money on the weekend. Says he’s going to give me some morphine for my back to see if it will knock the pain down. Morphine? WTF???
He says it normally works, and I don’t look like a druggie…
Doc comes back in about fifteen minutes later, says no blood clots (reason I went to Xray apparently), and yep, back is screwed up. And blood work looks good, and do you normally throw PVCs? I told him I did occasionally, and he said that and the partial connection on the 12 lead had the first nurse scared…
BUT, that at ‘my’ age, they weren’t going to take a chance, hence the full monte and all the checks.
He gives me some Motrin, and says I can go, and somebody can pick me up outside the entrance…
I didn’t tell him I drove myself… So I go sit in the truck for a bit, and eased on home.
Of course tried to go to bed, and that wasn’t working, so I end up flat on my back in the living room with my feet up on the couch. Woke up this morning in the same position, stiff as a board, but at least the back feels better…
And I think an elephant took a dump in my mouth… Turns out it’s a side effect of the Morphine…
So apparently if you’re an old fart, regardless of what you go in for, if it’s ANYTHING in the thoracic region and you indicate pain, stand by…
