An odd request…

I’m going to try something…

I want to do a German and a Polish translation of the first Grey Man novels and see if they will sell over there.

Soooo, what I need is someone(s) that- A. Are native speakers and readers. B. Have time. C. Willing to do it for a small fee.

I have used a ‘supposedly’ very good translation program, but I really want some people who are native speakers/readers to look the translations over and edit any mistakes, (grumble… past experience with translating Spanish- Thanks to Miggy saving my butt more than once!) I can pay a bit, and will give them signed copies for their time/effort.

I’ll provide both the English and translated versions to those folks.

Thanks in advance!

 

Drug deal tamales…

First, let me refer you to LawDog’s post from last year- HERE.

Being an old fart, I will tell you this is NOT a new thing…

My father was in the oil business starting back in the 1920s, and he moved over to the pipeline side sometime later. He was the district manager for the state of Louisiana when I was little, and we always had tamales available, due to his contacts with the crews and family up around Many and Zwolle, LA. He had worked there in the early 20s when a field was brought in down there, and the Hispanics on the crew were always bringing tamales for lunch.

As far as DDTs, I know it’s been going on at least since the 70s. Those who know about tamales and grew up being able to get them, WILL go on the hunt around the holidays wherever they may be. I’ve found them in California, Florida (although one round of those were ‘sweet’ tamales wrapped in banana leaves), and of course Texas. NEVER found any in NOVA, either due to conspiracy in the community to keep them away from us, or my being in the wrong places at the wrong time(s). Oh,  and none in Hawaii either… Portagee sausage and Spam musubi everywhere, tamales not so much.

Probably the ‘strangest’ place I ever found tamales (GOOD ones!), was in Pataya Beach, Thailand! A lady there ran a mexican restaurant (her hubby was USAID in ‘Nam) and she had stuff shipped in from Mexico and Arizona.

As LawDog said, it’s always the old car or pickup, driven in most cases by an older Hispanic man or an Abuela. They usually are in the corner of a parking lot, or an old shut down gas station, or a country crossroads, especially around the holidays. OR, you find a Hispanic co-worker and beg them for tamales (that ‘sometimes’ works)…

It used to be $5/dozen, and you always got at least two dozen, one pork (usually spicy) and one chicken (usually milder). Now days, it’s up to $20/dozen, but I still consider that a bargain!

In this year’s search, LawDog was actually able to get some ‘white boy mild’ tamales! They were ‘good’, but over the years, I’ve kinda gotten attached to the ‘spicy’ versions. 🙂

And yes, they are all gone! Sigh…

Although there are apparently now tamale shops in various cities, where you can get tamales year round. Strange, that…

‘Orphan’s supper’…

Continuing a long tradition, we did an ‘orphan’s supper’ Christmas, with leftovers last night.

This goes back to my being a young enlisted in the military and being invited over to eat holiday meals with various families over the years. In the early 80s, it kinda morphed into those who weren’t going home for holidays/standing the watches, etc. that didn’t have any plans pooling assets and feeding the crowd.

It has made for some ‘interesting’ combinations of foods over the years, but being back in Texas, we reverted to type… Drug Deal Tamales are always on the table!

Or as Saturday night proved, tables!!!

Ham, turkey, two versions of DDTs, one white boy mild, one ‘spicy’, the usual complement of side dishes…

One aside, I did cornbread dressing, patted down flat and cooked in the oven, then cut/served kinda like a brownie. We never called it ‘stuffing’ growing up, because I don’t ever remember my family actually putting it IN the turkey (worry about it actually getting cooked). Many years later, talking to a retired Navy CS (cook), who had cooked for CNO, she told me that the Navy specified the dressing be separate for the same reason, so those old country folk did know a thing or three…

And this huge platter of mac and cheese! SO GOOD!!! And turkey gravy and mashed taters!

People were grabbing plates and eating before the food was even all on the table!!! I ‘managed’ to restrain myself at least until all the food was out…LOL

It was, as always a team effort, and I’d like to thank those that contributed to the evening!

Last night, the herd of locusts once again descended on the tables, and pretty much decimated the remainder!!! At least this time, they had room for the desserts! About the only ‘baking’ I can do fairly well is pecan pie… sigh

I’ll eat that for breakfast with a cup of coffee!

Twas the day after…

Christmas…

I feel for the parents out today hunting more batteries for the kid’s toys…

The Day After Christmas

Twas the day after Christmas, and all through the house,
Every creature was hurtin’ even the mouse.

The toys were all broken, their batteries dead;
Santa passed out, with some ice on his head.

Wrapping and ribbons just covered the floor,
While upstairs the family continued to snore.

And I in my T-shirt, new Reeboks and jeans,
I went into the kitchen and started to clean.

When out on the lawn there arose such a clatter,
I sprang from the sink to see what was the matter.

Away to the window I flew like a flash,
Tore open the curtains, and threw up the sash.

When what to my wondering eyes should appear,
But a little white truck, with an oversized mirror.

The driver was smiling, so lively and grand;
The patch on his jacket said “U.S. POSTMAN.”

With a handful of bills, he grinned like a fox.
Then quickly he stuffed them into our mailbox.

Bill after bill, after bill, they still came.
Whistling and shouting he called them by name:

“Now Dillard’s, now Broadway’s, now Penny’s and Sears
Here’s Robinson’s, Levitz’s and Target’s and Mervyn’s.

To the tip or your limit, every store, every mall,
Now chargeaway–chargeaway–chargeaway all!”

He whooped and he whistled as he finished his work.
He filled up the box, and then turned with a jerk.

He sprang to his truck and he drove down the road,
Driving much faster with just half a load.

Then I heard him exclaim with great holiday cheer,
“ENJOY WHAT YOU BOUGHT…….
YOU’LL BE PAYING ALL YEAR!”

Merry Christmas!!!

To all my readers, I wish you and yours a very Merry Christmas!

merry-christmas

TSO brings the goodness…

I hope this day finds you safe in home and hearth with family. Say a prayer for those in the military on duty world-wide who protect our freedoms, and the police, fire/EMS pulling the duty at home…

Christmas Eve…

Jeff MacNelly was a friend of the military, and especially of the Navy.  He did a number of ‘special’ cartoons over the years for those of us who served…

shoexmas

Author unknown, but a damn good one…

This one goes out to Brigid, Frito, Flake, Juvat, JP, JimJim, Wing, Joe and all the other aviators out there…

‘Twas the night before Christmas, and out on the ramp,
Not an airplane was stirring, not even a Champ.
The aircraft were fastened to tiedowns with care,
In hopes that come morning, they all would be there.

The fuel trucks were nestled, all snug in their spots,
With gusts from two-forty at 39 knots.
I slumped at the fuel desk, now finally caught up,
And settled down comfortably, resting my butt.

When the radio lit up with noise and with chatter,
I turned up the scanner to see what was the matter.
A voice clearly heard over static and snow,
Called for clearance to land at the airport below.

He barked his transmission so lively and quick,
I’d have sworn that the call sign he used was “St. Nick”;
I ran to the panel to turn up the lights,
The better to welcome this magical flight.

He called his position, no room for denial,
“St. Nicholas One, turnin’ left onto final.”
And what to my wondering eyes should appear,
But a Rutan-built sleigh, with eight Rotax Reindeer!

With vectors to final, down the glideslope he came,
As he passed all fixes, he called them by name:
“Now Ringo! Now Tolga! Now Trini and Bacun!
On Comet! On Cupid!” What pills was he takin’?

While controllers were sittin’, and scratchin’ their head,
They phoned to my office, and I heard it with dread,
The message they left was both urgent and dour:
“When Santa pulls in, have him please call the tower.”

He landed like silk, with the sled runners sparking,
Then I heard “Left at Charlie,” and “Taxi to parking.”
He slowed to a taxi, turned off of three-oh
And stopped on the ramp with a “Ho, ho-ho- ho…”

He stepped out of the sleigh, but before he could talk,
I ran out to meet him with my best set of chocks.
His red helmet and goggles were covered with frost
And his beard was all blackened from Reindeer exhaust.

His breath smelled like peppermint, gone slightly stale,
And he puffed on a pipe, but he didn’t inhale.
His cheeks were all rosy and jiggled like jelly,
His boots were as black as a cropduster’s belly.

He was chubby and plump, in his suit of bright red,
And he asked me to “fill it, with hundred low-lead.”
He came dashing in from the snow-covered pump,
I knew he was anxious for drainin’ the sump.

I spoke not a word, but went straight to my work,
And I filled up the sleigh, but I spilled like a jerk.
He came out of the restroom, and sighed in relief,
Then he picked up a phone for a Flight Service brief.

And I thought as he silently scribed in his log,
These reindeer could land in an eighth-mile fog.
He completed his pre-flight, from the front to the rear,
Then he put on his headset, and I heard him yell, “Clear!”

And laying a finger on his push-to-talk,
He called up the tower for clearance and squawk.
“Take taxiway Charlie, the southbound direction,
Turn right three-two-zero at pilot’s discretion.”

He sped down the runway, the best of the best,
“Your traffic’s a Grumman, inbound from the west.”
Then I heard him proclaim, as he climbed through the night,
“Merry Christmas to all! I have traffic in sight.”

And from Jeff Bacon, a retired Naval Officer

Christmas party…

THE CHRISTMAS PARTY

December 1st

TO: ALL EMPLOYEES

I’m happy to inform you that the company Christmas Party will take place on December 23rd at Luigi’s Open Pit Barbecue. There will be lots of spiked eggnog and a small band playing traditional carols … feel free to sing along. And don’t be surprised if our CEO shows up dressed as Santa Claus to light the Christmas tree! Exchange of gifts among employees can be done at that time; however, no gift should be over $10.

Merry Christmas to you and your family.

Patty Lewis

Human Resources Director

————————————————————————

December 2nd

TO: ALL EMPLOYEES

In no way was yesterday’s memo intended to exclude our Jewish employees. We recognize that Hanukkah is an important holiday that often coincides with Christmas (though unfortunately not this year). However, from now on we’re calling it our “Holiday Party.” The same policy applies to employees who are celebrating Kwanzaa at this time. There will be no Christmas tree and no Christmas carols sung.

Happy Holidays to you and your family.

Patty Lewis

Human Resources Director

———————————————————————-

December 3rd

TO: ALL EMPLOYEES

Regarding the anonymous note I received from a member of Alcoholics Anonymous requesting a non-drinking table, I’m happy to accommodate this request, but, don’t forget, if I put a sign on the table that reads, “AA Only,” you won’t be anonymous anymore. In addition, forget about the gifts exchange — no gifts will be allowed since the union members feel that $10 is too much money.

Patty Lewis

Human Researchers Director

———————————————————————-

December 7th

TO: ALL EMPLOYEES

I’ve arranged for members of Overeaters Anonymous to sit farthest from the dessert buffet and pregnant women closest to the restrooms. Gays are allowed to sit with each other. Lesbians do not have to sit with the gay men; each will have their table. Yes, there will be a flower arrangement for the gay men’s table. Happy now?

Patty Lewis

Human Racehorses Director

———————————————————————-

December 9th

TO: ALL EMPLOYEES

People, people — nothing sinister was intended by wanting our CEO to play Santa Claus! Even if the anagram of “Santa” does happen to be “Satan,” there is no evil connotation to our own “little man in a red suit.”

Patty Lewis

Human Ratraces

———————————————————————-

December 10th

TO: ALL EMPLOYEES

Vegetarians — I’ve had it with you people!! We’re going to hold this party at Luigi’s Open Pit whether you like it or not, you can just sit at the table farthest from the “grill of death,” as you put it, and you’ll get salad bar only, including hydroponic tomatoes. But, you know, tomatoes have feelings, too. They scream when you slice them. I’ve heard them scream. I’m hearing them right now… Ha! I hope you all have a rotten holiday!

Drive drunk and die, you hear me?

The Bitch from Hell

———————————————————————-

December 14th

TO: ALL EMPLOYEES

I’m sure I speak for all of us in wishing Patty Lewis a speedy recovery from her stress-related illness. I’ll continue to forward your cards to her at the sanitarium. In the meantime, management has decided to cancel our Holiday Party and give everyone the afternoon of the 23rd off with full pay.

Terri Bishop

Acting Human Resources Director

Hope you have a great day!

 

TBT…

Hard to believe this was thirty-eight years ago…

We were a damn good squadron, didn’t play the politics game, or get on TV, but we got the job done! 🙂

We were the ONLY Navy squadron ever to have a female on our squadron patch! Hehehe

Posted in TBT

Ummm… How…

Is this going to work?

Xiden, in his speech yesterday says there will be a thousand Guard doctors and nurses called up to ‘support’ hospitals in need.

My question is…

Who is going to backfill for them? You and I both know if they are being called up, they are having to LEAVE wherever they are working. And how long are they going to be called up for? The duration? Weeks? Remember when 30 days of Guard duty turned into 4 months during ‘occupy DC’ to protect it?

And an even more interesting question is, have these Guard folks gotten the jab? Seems a number of Guard are refusing or being told they don’t have to take it (Oklahoma and Texas).

In other news, in some of the military rooms I follow, it appears there have been at least 12,000 applications for religious exemptions for the jab and ZERO approvals. So much for the ‘due consideration will be given’ from Austin and Milley…

All I can say is Clippy was priescent…

State of the writer…

Ummm… Frazzled… 🙂

BUT, Rimworld- Diplomatic Immunity is out to the alpha readers and the cover is in work.

Five short stories written, three published (so far), one in Unmasked, from Kevin James Anderson and I don’t understand why this one only has EIGHT reviews total and only one with an actual comment… Weird… Another one in It Came From the Trailer Park, and the last in Can’t Go Home Again. Another is in the second Tales Around the Supper Table, which ‘should’ be out shortly…

And last, the fourth has been accepted by a major publisher for an anthology that will be out in 2022, but I can’t announce who or the title yet, but this is the second sale to a major publisher!

One novel- Showdown on the River published earlier in the year. The one star review has no comment, and the two star review says- Author is a good story teller! This would make a wild movie. I assume that another book will tell what his uncle left in the barn. 

Yes, there was a Magoffin in the story… FOR A REASON… geez… And this particular reviewer leaves mostly 1-2 star reviews. Sigh…

And one novella, A Rifle A Pistol and A Good Horse, published in September to fairly good reviews.

Over all of my stuff, I seem to be averaging between 4.6 and 4.8 on Amazon reviews and an average of half a point lower on Goodreads, and I’m perfectly happy with that. I KNOW you can’t/won’t please everyone with every short/novella/novel, so I do the best I can.

Most of the books have over a hundred reviews, and all of my stuff has at least fifty reviews, so I do get a little push from Amazon on the also read pages, which is greatly appreciated.

In answer to an emailed question, yes, I am strictly Amazon/Kindle for everything except The Grey Man- Vignettes. I did try to go wide with that one, and I think I sold 9 copies via B&N, which is why it isn’t in Kindle Unlimited and can never be.

I do appreciate the honest reviews, and those of you who have stuck by me for now seven years I’ve been publishing stuff. I’m now a Z list author, and can now afford a hamburger AND a coke in addition to a cup of coffee… 🙂