Since I’m still on meds from the surgery, got these from the mil e-mail string…
HOW TO BE POLITICALLY CORRECT WITH WOMEN IN THE MODERN WORLD
She is not a BLEACHED BLONDE she is PEROXIDE DEPENDENT
She is not a BAD COOK she is MICROWAVE COMPATIBLE
She does not wear TOO MUCH JEWELRY she is METALLICALLY OVERBURDENED
She is not CONCEITED she is INTIMATELY AWARE OF HER BEST QUALITIES
She does not GAIN WEIGHT she is a METABOLIC UNDERACHIEVER
She does not TEASE or FLIRT she engages in ARTIFICIAL STIMULATION
She is not DUMB she is a DETOUR OFF THE INFORMATION SUPERHIGHWAY
She is not TOO SKINNY she is SKELETALLY PROMINENT
She does not HAVE A MUSTACHE she is IN TOUCH WITH HER MASCULINE SIDE
She does not HATE TELEVISED SPORTS she is ATHLETICALLY IGNORANT
She has not BEEN AROUND she is a PREVIOUSLY ENJOYED COMPANION
She does not WEAR TOO MUCH PERFUME she commits FRAGRANCE ABUSE
She does not GO SHOPPING she is MALL FLUENT
She is not an AIR HEAD she is REALITY IMPAIRED
She does not get DRUNK or TIPSY she gets CHEMICALLY INCONVENIENCED
She does not get FAT or CHUBBY she achieves MAXIMUM DENSITY
She is not COLD or FRIGID she is THERMALLY INACCESSIBLE
She does not WEAR TOO MUCH MAKEUP she has reached COSMETIC SATURATION
She does not NAG YOU she becomes VERBALLY REPETITIVE
She does not want to be MARRIED she wants to lock you in DOMESTIC INCARCERATION
Hopefully coherent blogging (if I ever did) will resume sometime this week… LOL
