Aviators…


A little humor for the weekend…

The difference between a duck and a co-pilot??? The duck can fly.

A check ride ought to be like a skirt.
Short enough to be interesting, but long enough to cover everything.

Speed is life.
Altitude is life insurance.

It only takes two things to fly:
Airspeed, and money.

The three most dangerous things in aviation:
1. A Lawyer or Dentist in a Cessna.
2. Two captains in a B777

Aircraft Identification:

If it’s ugly, it’s British.
If it’s weird, it’s French.
If it’s ugly and weird, it’s Russian.

Without ammunition, the USAF would be just another very expensive flying club.

The similarity between air traffic controllers and pilots?

If a pilot screws up, the pilot dies. If ATC screws up, the pilot dies.

The difference between flight attendants and jet engines:
The engines usually quit whining when they get to the gate.

New FAA motto:

‘We’re not happy, till you’re not happy.’

If Air Traffic Control screws up, it’s called a “System Malfunction”, If a pilot screws up it’s called a “violation”.

If something hasn’t broken on your helicopter — it’s about to.

I give that landing a 9 . . on the Richter scale.
(used that one once or twice)

Basic Flying Rules:

1. Try to stay in the middle of the air.
2. Do not go near the edges of it.
3. The edges of the air can be recognized by the appearance of ground, buildings, sea, trees and interstellar space. It is much more difficult to fly in the edges.

Unknown landing signal officer (LSO) to carrier pilot after his 6th unsuccessful landing attempt:

“You’ve got to land here son. This is where the food is.”
(I loved this one)

The three best things in life are:

A good landing, a good orgasm, and a good bowel movement.

A night carrier landing is one of the few opportunities to experience all three at the same time.
(yep, especially in the back seat of an F-4B)

After further analysis…

Well, PU has analyzed the analysis of the analysis, of the basic analysis and now they are going to do an evaluation of the analysis… sigh…

And PU has come out with specific recommendations, none of which addresses the root cause problem.

What is the root problem you may ask? It is the REAL analyst working on the floor…

They are so paranoid they are NOT going to make a call on anything other than a cut and dried, dead nuts hit. Anything else they are going to bump it up.

Why? Look at what is happening to the CIA folks that are now being investigated by Holder, and the pressure to “toe the line”, don’t profile, don’t boot anything up you can’t verify six ways to Sunday; and if you screw up? Well, you’re gone- at the minimum demoted, at worst fired and liable for charges…

Is there a resolution? Yes, but it won’t happen in this administration, because there is a control mentality and they are NOT willing to let the workers do the work without interference.

The number of agencies involved in and of itself mitigates adequate sharing of data, just by the nature of the time lines involved in the intelligence community…

Another issue is the sheer volume of information that each analyst is ‘responsible’ for… it’s not 10 or 20 or 100 pieces of information, it’s thousands…

Day after day after day…

So they are going to add more scrutiny, more layers of bureaucracy, and reduce effectiveness even further…

How would I fix it? One word- PROFILE! These profiles are built for a reason, but PCism… sigh…

But no… and IF, and it’s a BIG IF, you do get intel on somebody, the reality of getting that person on a watch list or no fly list in time to actually have an impact is less than 50-50…

And then you have to assume everything goes perfectly, that the name is correctly is correctly spelled, AND the person actually uses the same full name as is on the list and on and on…

I say just let us carry and we’ll take care of the problem…

America Rising…

Go check out this link at Bloviating Zepplin. It’s called America Rising. Diamond Mair also sent it to me… VERY powerful!

And here is a link to a rather interesting WSJ article on the constitutionality of the Health Care bills…

Random musings…

Realization

My daughter’s dog sleeps about 20 hours a day. She has her food prepared for her. She can eat whenever she wants, 24/7/365. Her meals are provided at no cost to her. She visits the Dr. once a year for her checkup, and again during the year if any medical needs arise. For this she pays nothing, and nothing is required of her. She lives in a nice neighborhood in a house that is much larger than she needs, but she is not required to do any upkeep. If she makes a mess, someone else cleans it up. She has her choice of luxurious places to sleep. She receives these accommodations absolutely free. She is living like a queen, and has absolutely no expenses whatsoever. All of her costs are picked up by others who go out and earn a living every day.

I was just thinking about all this, and suddenly it hit me like a brick in the head, Holy S#!t, my daughter is raising a Democrat dog!!!

In other news- 2010 is NOT the start of the new decade… the new decade starts in 2011! What is it with people who just don’t understand this stuff? AND they get on their high horses when it’s pointed out to them??? Geez, you’d have thought I called them idjits (well, under my breath maybe)…

Their ‘excuse’ was oh the new millennium started in 2000! NO IT DIDN’T it actually started in 2001!!! 2000 was the END of the previous millennium…

sigh…

Oh yeah, and this whole globull warming… well it’s noon here, it’s 26 degrees, the wind is blowing 30 kts and the wind chill is 11 degrees; warm it ain’t!

And this from a friend coming back from Hawaii-

I have an interesting observation to relate. When we came back from Hilo the other day there were three muslims speaking Pasthu/Urdu going through “security” in the line in front of us. The were talking loudly to each other, and didn’t remove their shoes, but walked right through the metal detector without the TSA reacting or saying a thing.

When I went through, one of the TSA minions grabbed my shoes from the conveyor belt and said, “We’ll have to check these”, then put them on one of them multi-million dollar “scanner” toys. I asked the punk why he “didn’t check them”, pointing at the muslims sauntering away talking much more quietly; The punk glared at me and responded with, “This is policy.”

Soooo, I guess the policy must be, “After you wave a few muslims through you gotta harass an old white guy just to ensure he isn’t going to blow up the airplane. Make sure you document the search so your “metrics” look good during the next investigation.”

The government of this once great nation is completely out of control… Everything is okay in the security world, and all’s right with Allah…

sigh…

Lynyrd Skynyrd – That aint my America…

They got it right… This needs to be our ‘song’ for 2010, Lets take back OUR country from the career politicians!

Lets get back to our AMERICAN values; of the people, for the people, BY THE PEOPLE.

Responsability for your actions, honest and integrity; no more political correctness, tell the truth for better or worse, TEACH the truth, and believe our children CAN understand it.

We are a nation imperfect, no question; but I believe we CAN rise above the problems and issues if we confront them and deal with them in an open and honest way.

I’m hoping 2010 will be SIGNIFICANTLY better to us that 2009 has been.

Congressional Reform Act of 2010…

The proposal is to promote a “Congressional Reform Act of 2010.” It would contain eight provisions, all of which would probably be strongly endorsed by those who drafted the Constitution and the Bill of Rights (but not the incumbants).

I know many of you will say, “this is impossible.” Let me remind you, Congress has the lowest approval of any entity in Government, now is the time when Americans will join together to reform Congress – the entity that represents us.

We need to get a Senator to introduce this bill in the US Senate and a Representative to introduce a similar bill in the US House. These people will become American heroes.. Please add any ideas on how to get this done.

Congressional Reform Act of 2010

1. Term Limits: 12 years only, one of the possible options below.

A. Two Six-year Senate terms
B. Six Two-year House terms
C. One Six-year Senate term and three Two-Year House terms

Serving in Congress is an honor, not a career. The Founding Fathers envisioned citizen legislators, serve your term(s), then go home and back to work.

2. No Tenure / No Pension:
A congressman collects a salary while in office and receives no pay when they are out of office.

Serving in Congress is an honor, not a career. The Founding Fathers envisioned citizen legislators, serve your term(s), then go home and back to work.

3. Congress (past, present & future) participates in Social Security:
All funds in the Congressional retirement fund moves to the Social Security system immediately. All future funds flow into the Social Security system, Congress participates with the American people.

Serving in Congress is an honor, not a career. The Founding Fathers envisioned citizen legislators, server your term(s), then go home and back to work.

4. Congress can purchase their own retirement plan just as all Americans..

Serving in Congress is an honor, not a career. The Founding Fathers envisioned citizen legislators, serve your term(s), then go home and back to work.

5. Congress will no longer vote themselves a pay raise. Congressional pay will rise by the lower of CPI or 3%.

Serving in Congress is an honor, not a career. The Founding Fathers envisioned citizen legislators, serve your term(s), then go home and back to work.

6. Congress loses their current health care system and participates in the same health care system as the American people.

Serving in Congress is an honor, not a career.. The Founding Fathers envisioned citizen legislators, serve your term(s), then go home and back to work.

7. Congress must equally abide in all laws they impose on the American people..

Serving in Congress is an honor, not a career. The Founding Fathers envisioned citizen legislators, serve your term(s), then go home and back to work.

8. All contracts with past and present congressmen are void effective 1/1/11.

The American people did not make this contract with congressmen, congressmen made all these contracts for themselves.

Serving in Congress is an honor, not a career. The Founding Fathers envisioned citizen legislators, serve your term(s), then go home and back to work.

It is time WE the people took back our system of governence… Spread the message, and vote ALL of them out in 2010 and 2012 and we can start over…

Oh yeah, Happy New Year!!!

National Declassification Center…

This article appears in today’s WAPO

President Unicorn signed out an Executive Order Tuesday to create the National Declassification Center, which will oversee efforts to make once-secret government documents public.

Among other things, PU instructs the government not to keep secrets forever, eliminates the ability of intelligence officials to veto declassification decisions, and requires agencies to conduct reviews of their classification procedures.

This from an administration that promised ‘transparency’ and is about as transparent as… well, this is a family friendly blog…

Sigh…

What REALLY scares me is the part about not letting those who’s job it is, e.g. the career Intel types who ACTUALLY know what they are doing, overrule these bureaucrats who are going to be in this declassification center…

An example- 10 year old procedures or practices that still work, or might lead to rolling up a network in ‘some’ country. and it’s forced to be declass’ed because it’s “old”…

When Slick Willie was in, they routinely left classified material laying around in offices, and many of the staff STILL did not have security clearances when he finally departed the White House… And how many secrets did they give away???

All I can say is this does NOT bode well for our National Security in the future, and as far as I’m concerned is a step to MAJOR security violations…

Worry….

In a kinda left handed way, this subject came up over Christmas with the kids…

MY biggest worry now is who in hell is going to PAY for everything PU and his minions are shoving down our throats… Even my grandson, who is 11 wonders why things are being done the way they are. The really sad part, was that I didn’t have a good answer for him…

Worry

Is there an imaginary cutoff period when offspring become accountable for their own actions? Is there some wonderful moment when Parents can become detached spectators in The lives of their children and shrug, ‘It’s Their life,’ and feel nothing?

When I was in my twenties, I stood in a hospital corridor waiting for doctors to put a few stitches in my daughter’s head and I asked, ‘When do you stop worrying?’ The nurse said, ‘When they get out of the accident stage..’
My Parents just smiled faintly and said nothing.

When I was in my thirties, I sat on a little Chair in a classroom and heard how one of my Children talked incessantly, disrupted the class, And was headed for a career
making License plates. As if to read my mind, a teacher said, ‘Don’t worry, they all go through this stage and then you can sit back, relax and enjoy them.’
My Parents just smiled faintly and said nothing.

When I was in my forties, I spent a lifetime waiting for the phone to ring, the cars to come home, the front door to open. A friend said, ‘They’re trying to find themselves.
‘Don’t worry! In a few years, they’ll be Adults. ‘They’ll be off on their own they’ll be out of your hair’
My Parents just smiled faintly and said nothing.

By the time I was 50, I was sick & tired of being vulnerable. I was still worrying over my children, but there was a new wrinkle..
Even though they were on their own I continued to anguish over their failures, be tormented by their frustrations and absorbed in their disappointments; and there was nothing I could do about it.
My Parents just smiled faintly and said nothing.

My friends said that when my kids got married I could stop worrying and lead my own life. I wanted to believe that, but I was haunted by my parent’s warm smiles and their occasional, ‘You look pale. Are you all right’ ? ‘Call me the minute you get home’. Are you depressed about something?’

My friends said that when I became a Grandparent that I would get to enjoy the happy little voices yelling Grandma! Papa! but now I find that I worry just as much about the little kids as the big ones. How can anyone cope with all this Worry?

Can it be that parents are sentenced to a Lifetime of worry? Is concern for one another handed down like a torch to blaze the trail of human frailties and the fears of the unknown? Is concern a curse or is it a virtue that elevates us to the highest form of earthly creation?

Recently, one of my own children became quite irritable saying to me, ‘Where were you? I’ve been calling for 3 days, and no one answered I was worried.’

I smiled a warm smile. The torch has been passed.

Author unknown to me… But I agree with EVERYTHING that was said…

The Week AFTER Christmas…

‘Twas the week after Christmas, and all through the house
Nothing would fit me, not even a blouse.
The cookies I’d nibbled, the eggnog I’d taste
At the holiday parties had gone to my waist.

When I got on the scales there arose such a number!
When I walked to the store (less a walk than a lumber).

I’d remember the marvelous meals I’d prepared;
The gravies and sauces and beef nicely rared,

The wine and the rum balls, the bread and the cheese
And the way I’d never said, “No thank you, please.”

As I dressed myself in my husband’s old shirt
And prepared once again to do battle with dirt—

I said to myself, as I only can
“You can’t spend a winter disguised as a man!”

So–away with the last of the sour cream dip,
Get rid of the fruit cake, every cracker and chip

Every last bit of food that I like must be banished
“Till all the additional ounces have vanished.

I won’t have a cookie–not even a lick.
I’ll want only to chew on a long celery stick.

I won’t have hot biscuits, or corn bread, or pie,
I’ll munch on a carrot and quietly cry.

I’m hungry, I’m lonesome, and life is a bore—
But isn’t that what January is for?

Unable to giggle, no longer a riot.
Happy New Year to all and to all a good diet!


Author unknown (at least to me)

But based on the amount of food consumed, AND the amount left over, this is pretty much true!!!