Ode to old age…

Posted on by July 13, 2013

As I was lying around, pondering the problems of the world, I realized that at my age I don’t really give a hoot anymore.

If walking is good for your health, the postman would be immortal.

A whale swims all day, only eats fish, drinks water, but is still fat.

A rabbit runs and hops and only lives 15 years, while a tortoise doesn’t run and does mostly nothing, yet it lives for 150 years.

And you tell me to exercise?? I don’t think so.

Just grant me the senility to forget the people I never liked, the good fortune to remember the ones I do, and the eyesight to tell the difference.

Now that I’m older here’s what I’ve discovered:

1. I started out with nothing, and I still have most of it.

2. My wild oats are mostly enjoyed with prunes and all-bran.

3. I finally got my head together, and now my body is falling apart.

4. Funny, I don’t remember being absent-minded.

5. Funny, I don’t remember being absent-minded.

6. If all is not lost, then where the heck is it ?

7. It was a whole lot easier to get older, than to get wiser.

8. Some days, you’re the top dog; some days you’re the hydrant.

9. I wish the buck really did stop here; I sure could use a few of them.

10. Kids in the back seat cause accidents.

11. Accidents in the back seat cause kids.

12. It’s hard to make a comeback when you haven’t been anywhere.

13. The world only beats a path to your door when you’re in the bathroom.

14. If God wanted me to touch my toes, he’d have put them on my knees.

15. When I’m finally holding all the right cards, everyone wants to play chess.

16. It’s not hard to meet expenses . . . they’re everywhere.

17. The only difference between a rut and a grave is the depth.

18. These days, I spend a lot of time thinking about the hereafter . . .I go somewhere to get something, and then wonder what I’m “here after”.

19. Funny, I don’t remember being absent-minded.

20. HAVE I SENT THIS MESSAGE TO YOU BEFORE???

h/t ummm, errr, oh yeah, Craig 🙂

Nightmares are no more, 69 years of service has ended…

Posted on by July 13, 2013

Hand Salute!

VMA-513_insignia present

After nearly seven decades of service, Marine Attack Squadron 513 (VMA-513) was officially deactivated during a ceremony Friday morning at Marine Corps Air Station Yuma.

/snip/

“Some would say it is a sad day,” Smith said. “I choose to believe it is a proud day, a day where we all get to pay homage to the unit that will forever maintain its honor and winning record – having kicked butt in almost every major war and conflict for the last 69 years.”

/snip/

The squadron’s nickname, “Flying Nightmares,” was coined by Lt. Col. James Anderson, the unit’s Commanding Officer, during the Korean War. Anderson thought the moniker was appropriate because during March 1951 the squadron’s 15 F7F Tigercats and 15 F4U-5N Corsairs provided the sole night fighter air defense and interdiction support for all the U.N. forces at war on the Korean peninsula. 

Just before the escalation of the Vietnam War, the squadron received the F-4 Phantom II jet fighter and was re-designated VMFA-513, a fighter attack squadron. In June 1965, the Nightmares were sent to Vietnam for five months of combat. In August 1965, the unit supported the 7th Marine Regiment during Operation Starlite, the first major American operation of the war.

The colors were struck, cased and along with other historical memorabilia from VMA-513, will be packed up and sent to the National Museum of the Marine Corps in Quantico, Va.

Read the whole article HERE.  You can also go read the squadron history HERE.

Ready, Two!

They did good and went out on top.  Can’t ask much more than that…

h/t JP

Zero Tolerance in the Navy…

Posted on by July 12, 2013

Former Secretary Lehman (also ex A-6 BN), hits all the key points…

The bottom line???

Those old attributes of naval leaders ­ willingness to take intelligent calculated risk, self-confidence, even a certain swagger ­ that are invaluable in wartime are the very ones that make them particularly vulnerable in today’s zero-tolerance Navy. The political correctness thought-police, like Inspector Javert in “Les Misérables,” are out to get them and are relentless

A new naval culture of risk aversion has been created. Men and women with the potential of great naval leadership are not the type to accept such an environment, and they are leaving in numbers that will set records when the economy recovers.

Go HERE and read the entire article…

In the military today, time is the commodity and risk is the currency…  And “I” for one am afraid they are spending the currency faster than it’s being ameliorated…

Some ‘real’ Navy Leaders…

Nimitz, Halsey, King. None of these gents would have ever made it past LCDR in today’s PC Navy…

Quotes from the week…

Posted on by July 12, 2013

Finally back home and CONNECTIVITY…. sigh…

Week of meetings- Random quotes and ‘overheard’ statements…

“I wonder where my hatchet is?” after an hour of circling a question and then a decision to ‘table’ the question…

“It’s $300 every six months. Yeah, $800 a year sounds about right.  Whut???”

“Is he going to be disappointed?  Dunno, don’t care; he’s my boss, not my Daddy.”

“My guys are clueless.”  “The girls?” “NOT going there…”

“I’m not prepared to die on ‘that’ hill today!”

“We’re going on an anniversary trip too.”  “When is that?” “I dunno…”

“If they could just make veggies out of beef…” Two women talking about dieting during a break.

ONLY good thing about the week?

I got to have lunch with Navy One and Lil’ Chantilly!!! That made the whole trip worth it! Great folks and a very pleasant interlude in an otherwise PITA week.

WTF, AGAIN???

Posted on by July 11, 2013
Apparently from an interview in Africa…
AP reporter Ramona Darlington, who attended the conference asked President Obama to explain what the profile of an American domestic terrorists is? Obama responded by saying,“Typically domestic terrorists in the U.S. are people who cling to obsolete beliefs from the time of the American Revolution. They are conservative Christians, reactionary Republicans and conspiracy theorists many of whom belong to racist hate groups.”

“Tea Partiers commonly own guns and stock up ammunition and food in anticipation of starting another civil war to overthrow the will of the governing body who represent all of the American people. We are prepared for any contingency and don’t expect to see any kind of large insurrection. Americans are capitalists who are much more interested in seeing America move forward. These terrorists groups are small in size and really present little danger,” the President added.

Anybody have a clue as to the veracity of these comments???  If they are true, puts a LOT of what’s been happening in context… Just sayin…

They did it, er… IT did it…

Posted on by July 10, 2013

X-47B first arrested landing on USS GHW BUSH…

Lots more work to do, including “Blue Water” ops, e.g. really crappy weather, etc…

But good for them!

An now a blast from the past…

Well, actually two…  This is the full Discovery program on Top Gun (44 minutes)

Things to think about…

Posted on by July 7, 2013

Since I can’t leave well enough alone today…

1- I used to eat a lot of natural foods until I learned that most people die of natural causes.

2- There are two kinds of pedestrians . . . The quick and the dead.

3- Life is sexually transmitted.

4- Healthy is merely the slowest possible rate at which one can die.

5- The only difference between a rut and a grave is the depth.

6- Health nuts are going to feel stupid someday, lying in hospitals dying of nothing.

7- Have you noticed since everyone has a cell phone these days no one talks about seeing UFOs like they used to?

8- Whenever I feel blue, I start breathing again.

9- All of us could take a lesson from the weather. It pays no attention to criticism.

10- In the 60’s, people took acid to make the world weird. Now the world is weird and people take Prozac to make it normal.

11- How is it one careless match can start a forest fire, but it takes a whole damn box to start a campfire?

12- Who was the first person to look at a cow and say, ‘I think I’ll squeeze these dangly things and drink whatever comes out’? Hmmmmm, How about eggs ? . . .

13- If Jimmy cracks corn and no one cares, why is there a song about him?

14- Why does your OB-GYN leave the room when you get undressed if they are going to look up there anyway?

15- If corn oil is made from corn, and vegetable oil is made from vegetables, then what is baby oil made from?

16- Do illiterate people get the full effect of Alphabet Soup?

17- Does pushing the elevator button more than once make it arrive faster?

18- Why doesn’t glue stick to the inside of the bottle?

Yeah I’m bored, came back to the hotel just to get away from the meeting at lunch… sigh…

Sage Advice???

Posted on by July 7, 2013

Or truisms… Take your choice!

As I hurtled through space, one thought kept crossing my mind – every part of this rocket was supplied by the lowest bidder.– John Glenn

When the white missionaries came to Africa they had the Bible and we had the land. They said ‘Let us pray.’ We closed our eyes. When we opened them we had the Bible and they had the land. – Desmond Tutu

America is the only country where a significant proportion of the population believes that professional wrestling is real but the moon landing was faked. – David Letterman

I’m not a paranoid, deranged millionaire. God dammit, I’m a billionaire. – Howard Hughes

After the game, the King and the Pawn go into the same box. – Italian proverb

Men are like linoleum floors. Lay ’em right and you can walk all over them for thirty years. – Betsy Salkind

The only reason they say ‘Women and children first’ is to test the strength of the lifeboats. – Jean Kerr

I’ve been married to a communist and a fascist, neither would take out the garbage.– Zsa Zsa Gabor

You know you’re a redneck if your home has wheels and your car doesn’t. – Jeff Foxworthy

When a man opens a car door for his wife, it’s either a new car or a new wife.– Prince Philip

A computer once beat me at chess, but it was no match for me at kickboxing.– Emo Philips.

Wood burns faster when you have to cut and chop it yourself.– Harrison Ford

The best cure for sea sickness, is to sit under a tree.– Spike Milligan

Lawyers believe a man is innocent until proven broke.– Robin Hall

Kill one man and you’re a murderer, kill a million and you’re a conqueror. – Jean Rostand.

Having more money doesn’t make you happier. I have 50 million dollars but I’m just as happy as when I had 48 million. – Arnold Schwarzenegger.

We are here on earth to do good unto others. What the others are here for, I have no idea. – W.H. Auden

In hotel rooms I worry. I can’t be the only guy who sits on the furniture naked. – Jonathan Katz

If life were fair Elvis would still be alive today and all the impersonators would be dead. – Johnny Carson

I don’t believe in astrology. I am a Sagittarius and we’re very skeptical. – Arthur C Clarke

Hollywood must be the only place on earth where you can be fired by a man wearing a Hawaiian shirt and a baseball cap. – Steve Martin

Home cooking. Where many a man thinks his wife is. – Jimmy Durante

America is so advanced that even the chairs are electric. – Doug Hamwell

The first piece of luggage on the carousel never belongs to anyone. – George Roberts

If God had intended us to fly he would have made it easier to get to the airport – Jonathan Winters

I have kleptomania, but when it gets bad, I take something for it. – Robert Benchley

Sorry…

Posted on by July 9, 2013

Truly a crap connection at the hotel, can’t even do work email, much less blog or comment.

If y’all don’t see anything for a day or two, its that I just can’t connect…

Posted from my iPhone.

The chicken plucker…

Posted on by July 7, 2013

Imagine, if you had to do it. Jesse was a chicken plucker. That’s right.

He stood on a line in a chicken factory and spent his days pulling the feathers off dead chickens so the rest of us wouldn’t have to. It wasn’t much of a job. But at the time, Jesse didn’t think he was much of a person.

His father was a brute of a man. His dad was actually thought to be mentally ill and treated Jesse rough all of his life. Jesse’s older brother wasn’t much better. He was always picking on Jesse and beating him up. Yes, Jesse grew up in a very rough home in West Virginia. Life was anything but easy.

And he thought life didn’t hold much hope for him. That’s why he was standing in this chicken line, doing a job that darn few people wanted. In addition to all the rough treatment at home, it seems that Jesse was always sick. Sometimes it was real physical illness, but way too often it was all in his head. He was a small child, skinny and meek,  that sure didn’t help the situation any.

When he started to school, he was the object of every Bully on the playground. He was a hypochondriac of the first order. For Jesse, tomorrow was not always  something he Looked forward to. But, he had dreams. He wanted to be a ventriloquist. He found books on ventriloquism. He practiced with sock puppets and saved his hard earned dollars until he could get a real ventriloquist dummy.

When he got old enough, he joined the military. And even though many of his hypochondriac symptoms persisted, the military did recognize his talents and put him in the entertainment corps. That was when his world changed, he gained confidence, he found that he had a talent for making people laugh, and laugh so hard they often had tears in their eyes.

Yes, little Jesse had found himself, you know, folks, the history books are full of people who overcame a handicap to go on and make a success of themselves, but Jesse is one of the few I know of who didn’t overcome it. Instead he used his paranoia to make a million dollars, and become one of the best-loved characters of all time in doing it!

Yes, that little paranoid hypochondriac, who transferred his nervousness into a successful career, still holds the record for the most Emmy’s given in a single category.

Who was Jesse???

Continue reading →