A Florida senior citizen drove his brand new Corvette convertible out of the dealership. Taking off down the road, he pushed it to 80 mph, enjoying the wind blowing through what little hair he had left. “Amazing,” he thought as he … Continue reading
Category Archives: net humor
Tongue kinda, sorta in cheek… Please note that Texas is the only state with a legal right to secede from the Union . (Reference the Texas-American Annexation Treaty of 1848.) We Texans love y’all, but we’ll probably have to take … Continue reading
I did a theatrical performance about puns . It was a play on words. I changed my i Pod name to Titanic… It’s syncing now . When chemists die, they barium . Jokes about German sausage are the wurst . … Continue reading
A paraprosdokian is a phrase or sentence that leads us down the garden path to an unexpected ending. “Where there’s a will, I want to be in it,” is a paraprosdokian. Winston Churchill loved them.1. Do not argue with an idiot. He … Continue reading
Today, the ACLU announced that they are entering a law suit against God. Teaming with Amnesty International, the ACLU charges that the creation of Hell, by God, is “cruel and unusual punishment.” The reasoning, a spokesperson for the ACLU claims, … Continue reading
Our Yearly Dementia Test It’s that time of year for us to take our annual dementia test.Exercise of the brain is as important as exercise of the muscles. As we grow older, it’s important to keep mentally alert. If you … Continue reading
Pretty good twists on the ‘standard’ definitions… 1. ARBITRATOR: A cook that leaves Arby’s to work at McDonalds 2. AVOIDABLE: What a bullfighter tries to do 3. BERNADETTE: The act of torching a mortgage 4. BURGLARIZE: What a crook … Continue reading
-I changed my iPod’s name to Titanic. It’s syncing now.-When chemists die, they barium.-Jokes about German sausage are the wurst.-How does Moses make his tea? Hebrews it.-I stayed up all night to see where the sun went. Then it dawned … Continue reading
For all you Catlicks out there… This information is for Catholics only…OK, you Episcopalians, too (the Catholic-like ones). It must not be divulged to non-Catholics. The less they know about our rituals and code words; the better off they are. … Continue reading
A husband had just finished reading a new book entitled, “You Can Be THE Man of Your House.” Finding new courage that he never knew he had, he stormed into the kitchen and announced to his wife, “From now on, … Continue reading