So you get a picture…
It doesn’t really come through well, but there was a ‘beam’ of light in the center of the picture that was unusual. The bottoms of the high cirrus was scalloped just enough to get some interesting highlights too.
I’m busy writing, 30K words on the last Grey Man, and working on the western and a couple of short stories.
You’ll know yours is a Redneck Church If:
The finance committee refuses to provide funds for the purchase of a chandelier because none of the members knows how to play one.
People ask, when they learn that Jesus fed the 5000, whether the two fish were bass or catfish, and what bait was used to catch ’em.
When the pastor says I’d like to ask Bubba to help take up the offering. five guys and two women stand up.
Opening day of deer season is recognized as an official church holiday.
A member of the church requests to be buried in his 4-wheel-drive truck because it ain’t never been in a hole it couldn’t get out of.
The choir is known as the OK Chorale.
Boone’s Farm Tickle Pink is the favorite wine for communion.
In a congregation of 500 members, there are only seven last names in the church directory.
Baptism is referred to as branding.
There is a special fund raiser for a new church septic tank.
Finding and returning lost sheep isn’t just a parable.
High notes on the organ set the dogs on the floor to howling.
People think rapture is what you get when you lift something too heavy.
The baptismal font is a #2 galvanized washtub.
The choir robes were donated by (and embroidered with the logo from) Billy Bob’s barbecue.
The collection plates are really hub caps from a ’56 Chevy.
And not real sure this is a joke or not…
A Few years ago, my wife and I moved into a retirement development on Florida’s southeast coast. We are living in the “Delray/Boca/Boynton Golf, Spa, Bath and Tennis Club on Lake Fake-a-Hachee”. There are 3,000 lakes in Florida; only three are real.
Our biggest retirement concern was time management; What were we going to do all day? Let me assure you, passing the time is not a problem. Our days are eaten up by simple, daily activities. Just getting out of our car takes 15 minutes. Trying to find where we parked takes 20 minutes. It takes a half-hour in the check-out line in Wal-Mart, and 1 hour to return the item the next day.
Let me take you through a typical day: We get up at 5 am, have a quick breakfast and join the early morning Walk-and-Fart Club. There are about 30 of us, and rain or shine, we walk around the streets, all talking at once. Every development has some late risers who stay in bed until 6 am. After a nimble walk, avoiding irate drivers out to make us road kill, we go back home, shower and change for the next activity.
My wife goes directly to the pool for her underwater Pilates class, followed by gasping for breath and CPR. I put on my ‘Ask me about my Grandchildren’ T-shirt, my plaid mid-calf shorts, my black socks and sandals and go to the clubhouse lobby for a nice nap.
Before we know it, it’s time for lunch. We go to Costco to partake of the many tasty samples dispensed by ladies in white hair nets. All free! After a filling lunch, if we
don’t have any doctor appointments, we might go to the flea market to see if any new white belts have come in or to buy a Rolex watch for $2.
We’re usually back home by 2 pm to get ready for dinner. People start lining up for the early bird about 3 pm, but we get there by 3:45 because we’re late eaters. The dinners are very popular because of the large portions they serve. We can take home enough food for the next day’s lunch and dinner, including extra bread, crackers, packets of mustard, relish, ketchup and Splenda, along with mints.
At 5:30 pm we’re home, ready to watch the 6 o’clock news. By 6:30 pm we’re fast asleep. Then we get up and make five or six trips to the bathroom during the night, and it’s time to get up and start a new day all over again.
Doctor-related activities eat up most of our retirement time. I enjoy reading old magazines in sub-zero temperatures in the waiting room, so I don’t mind. Calling for test results also helps the days fly by. It takes at least a half-hour just getting through the doctor’s phone menu. Then there’s the hold time until we’re connected to the right party. Sometimes they forget we’re holding, and the whole office goes off to lunch.
Should we find we still have time on our hands, volunteering provides a rewarding opportunity to help the less fortunate. Florida has the largest concentration of seniors under five feet and they need our help. I myself am a volunteer for ‘The Vertically Challenged Over 80.’ I coach their basketball team, The Arthritic Avengers. The hoop is only 4-1/2 feet from the floor. You should see the look of confidence on their faces
when they make a slam dunk.
Food shopping is a problem for short seniors, or ‘bottom feeders’ as we call them, because they can’t reach the items on the upper shelves. There are many foods they’ve never tasted. After shopping, most seniors can’t remember where they parked their cars, and wander the parking lot for hours while their food defrosts.
Lastly, it’s important to choose a development with an impressive name. Italian names are very popular in Florida. They convey world travelers, uppity sophistication and wealth. Where would you rather live: Murray’s Condos or the Lakes of Venice? There’s no difference. They’re both owned by Murray, who happens to be a cheap bastard.
I hope this material has been of help to you future retirees. If I can be of any further assistance, please look me up when you’re in Florida. I live in the Leaning Condos of Pisa in Boynton Beach.
If you’re an indie author, or do things that involve your intellectual property (whatever it may be)…
Our friend Monalisa got fed up with trying to track her various stories and novels, and came up with what she’s calling an Intellectual Property Tracker. Kickstarter is HERE.
Here’s the quick and dirty on the blurb-
Intellectual Property Tracker is web-based software that allows writers to track all the important information associated with their product, i.e. their intellectual property (IP). Taglines, blurbs, sales copy, keywords, vendor and platform links, details about various formats (audio, POD, print, ebooks), publication history, submission history, IP rights management, details about advances, contracts, and promotion history, etc. Instead of keeping this important information in a tangle of spreadsheets, various documents, pieces of paper, etc., Intellectual Property Tracker allows you to have all the information in one place.
The key is ALL IN ONE PLACE!!!
She demo’ed an early version at the house, and we all liked the capability, and the fact that you can modify it to a certain extent to put in specific information you might need. And it will be online and supported! Even better!!!
Give it a look, I think you’ll like it. I know I do, and I want it to succeed!
Kudos to Ilan Srulovicz the CEO of Egard Watch Company for this response to the Gillette ad…
AND he did it with his own money!!!
Of course the left/libs/SJWs will deny, decry, and the blame game will start, but this ad IS the truth… Plain, unvarnished truth. Yes there are bad people out there, no question. But the MAJORITY of men, or at least real men, do not do the whole toxic masculinity thing the left portrays. They would love nothing more than to turn men into nothing more than vessels for semen, only called on when the biological clock has ticked down to the last tick, and desperation kicks in…
Much like what many wanted to do with the military going back to post WW1. Put the military in the deep freeze, and NEVER call them until the situation is dire, and near being lost… Which is what continues to happen… sigh… Cut, cut, cut, obsolete equipment- “Oh God! We’ve got a problem. Here, go fix it!” Reagan, thankfully, took the other tack and built the military up, which is why we won the cold war.
I’m old, I hurt, I’m grumpy, but I can hunt, fish, cook, have rebuilt cars, own and maintain a home, open doors for women and elderly, and help my kids out when they need it. If that’s toxic, I’ll wear that proudly.
Larry Correia did another great fisking, HERE on another metrosexual ‘male’ from the UK about ‘obsolete’ skills…
Once again promos for books by indie writers…
Click on the cover for the link!
First up- J.F. Posthumus with the first book in the new urban fantasy series- The Fae’s Amulet
The blurb-
What would you do if you had the power to destroy the world…
In her younger years, Catherine Woulfe was known as the Lady of Death…but those days are long past. Now, at over 300 years old, she is older, wiser…and painfully dull. Instead of using her necromancy skills for things like killing people and taking over governments, she now works as a private investigator, helping people find their lost treasures.
But when a charismatic stranger walks through her door, searching for one of the most powerful artifacts ever created, she is drawn into a case where she must use all of her old powers—including several forbidden ones—if she is to find the missing amulet. When the last person to see the amulet goes missing, she realizes it’s time for the Lady of Death to summon her minions and go on the warpath.
Angels and demons are searching for the amulet, as is a mysterious dark elf about whom little is known. Everyone is stalking her, waiting for her to find it so they can grab it for their own; meanwhile, her client has awoken feelings long suppressed, which is proving to be…distracting. Can Catherine find the trail of the thief and recover the amulet before the thief uses it to summon a deity that will destroy the Earth? More importantly, if she gets it, will she give it back?
Next is Laura Montgomery’s latest short- Fractional Ownership
The blurb-
Perpetual plaintiff Lewis Ostrow needs a ticket to Mars. His litigation profile renders him ineligible. Lewis, however, always stands ready to fight the system.
A legal fantasy.
A short story.
A bit of science fiction.
Next up- Stephanie Osborne’s ninth book in the Division One series- Head Games
The blurb-
Two galaxies will go to war—if Fox can’t save Chairbeing Entiyti from assassins.
While Alpha One handles a Nazi zombie apocalypse, an assassin squad catches the Galactic Coalition President by surprise, leaving him at death’s door. Director Fox rushes to his old friend’s side, leaving Echo in charge of the Division.
But when the belligerent Persis Federation arrives from the Andromeda Galaxy, the Ennead orders Alpha One on the tricky first-contact mission, hoping to avert intergalactic war. Unfortunately, the Persan premier chooses Omega as his newest concubine, leaving Echo trapped between love and morality, and duty and orders.
On Earth, Ennead member Ordik Adita co-opts the Division directorship, revamping standard procedures, and enforcing his rule with an iron fist. A coup seems in progress.
The question is…how big is it?
And last, but not least, I’ve been remiss in not putting up a promo for my friend Peter Nealan. He’s got 15 novels out in various genres, so HERE is a link to his author page. Gotta support a brother-in-arms, dontcha know… 🙂
Peter Nealen is a former Recon Marine, a veteran of Iraq and Afghanistan, and something of an aspiring renaissance man. He has long been a reader of history, philosophy, folklore, science fiction, and fantasy, and is the author of fifteen published novels and several short stories in the action adventure and supernatural thriller genres.
Sigh…
It appears the POS are now ‘infecting’ SF&F Lit Cons…
There are now some discussions going on in various forums about, gasp, panels that ‘do not reflect diversity’ for the topic of the panel. And this is coming from people who ‘volunteered’ to be on those panels, then are calling the organizers out about the lack of diversity.
I really want to ask some of these ‘panelists’, if you were so concerned, WHY did you volunteer for that particular panel? Shouldn’t you have disqualified yourself beforehand since you’re not the correct ‘diversity’? Just wondering…
Panels at most Cons that I’m aware of are volunteer, not drafted, and sure as hell not paid for appearing on one. Panelists tend to do panels because they believe they have something to share with the attendees that might prompt ideas/research/approaches for characters/characterizations in novels.
We’ve seen what happened with the Hugos, and a couple of other places over the last couple of years with people being disinvited, etc… Now it appears there are moves afoot to, shall we say, broaden their influence by enforcing their beliefs on SF&F in general. When a Lit Con sells out its limited membership in six hours, rather than the normal months plus, it’s enough to make one wonder what is going on…
My comment from FB- Are we to the point that we’re going to have to cancel any panels that discuss aliens, since I don’t think we have any aliens registered? Judging panels by melanin content rather than actual knowledge of the presenters smacks of elitism and implied racism by forcing compliance with the rules the POS are making up as they go along, rather than common sense.
Oh and there are also the ‘implied’ threats… (I’m not identifying the con, but there were similar issues at DragonCon in the fantasy track last year, which, thankfully, the Con leaders tamped down and kicked out the offending track lead) An excerpt- If it gets in headlines “Con X Hosts All-White Panel on XYZ”, that’s going to be a black eye. Con X will weather it, but it may stop other authors from traveling to the con, given its negative reputation. We could be the subject of articles and tweets and blogs and yes, boycotts. Say what you want about those people who would boycott. Hate their ideology, but I’d rather Con X cancels a few panels than gets a permanent black eye.
If that isn’t a threat, I don’t know what is, of course it’s couched in the typical passive/aggressive language the POS like to use, and when confronted deny and obfuscate, usually something like- Oh, it’s just what I heard might happen, yada, yada, yada.
And don’t get me started on you can’t write ‘diverse’ characters unless you yourself are ‘diverse’…
I write diverse characters that I’ve actually researched, and I actually have alpha and beta readers who ARE diverse and check me on the portrayals and correct use of language, because I believe in trying to give an accurate presentation, not a 2D cardboard cutout or an NPC…
Yesterday was celebrated as Martin Luther King, Jr. Day.
This quote- “We must learn to live together as brothers or perish together as fools.”
Seems totally appropriate right now, especially as the POS are determined to drive wedges between races, using those as leverage to get what they want, which is them in charge ‘telling’ us how to act, read, etc.
The only place they haven’t been successful is in the military, because people learn in the military that it is a person’s HEART, not their skin color or ethnicity that matters when it comes right down to it. Did you ever notice you seldom see ex-military people trying to put one group over another?
They know the truth… We see others as brothers and sisters who have written that blank check too, and those friendships endure LONG after one’s military service regardless of race, religion (or lack of), or ethnicity. If you want an example, visit the VA or a veteran’s center. You’ll see that brotherhood/sisterhood in action.
Rant off/kicking the soap box back in the corner.
I can haz books!
You can also click the cover to order directly from Amazon.
I’d like to apologize for the delay in getting them out, that was an issue I had to work through with KDP. If you were an alpha or beta reader, I’ll be getting your books out next week, if you haven’t provided me an address, please email that to me.
For those readers that would like a signed copy, $15, and how you would like it autographed. I’ll get those out as quickly as I can.
Thank you too, to those who’ve posted reviews. Still looking to get to the magic 50 reviews, but I do believe I will get there. Honest reviews are appreciated.
My thoughts on the shutdown…
I’ve experienced this a couple of times, both in the military and as a civilian contractor. It sucks, no question. But contrary to what the media is reporting, organizations ARE working with the people who are being impacted. NFCU, USAA, and Wells Fargo that I have verification on are working with members/those who have loans and mortgages and are also offering 0% loans to those in need. Navy Relief has also stepped up for those veterans who are working for the government and not getting paid. They are not being totally ignored, unless it’s by BofA…
One point many seem to be missing is the congress has to pass something to send to the President, and they have yet to do that. Zip, NADA… Nothing… They are blaming the president, yet they haven’t even put a bill forward that could pass both the House and Senate, much less go to committee, OR get to the president’s desk.
The so-called negotiations haven’t been productive as Pelosi et al have backed themselves into a corner by outright refusing to bring anything to the table that provides any money for the wall or whatever you want to call border security.
They are not even listening to CBP/DHS or anyone else, and have apparently said publicly they ‘dispute’ facts provided. Even after CBP provided evidence of the amount of drugs coming across in the McAllen area outside the ‘checkpoints’, none of the media are reporting that. They are sticking with the fact that ‘all’ of the drugs are coming through checkpoints…
Anybody with ANY common sense knows the smugglers will take the easiest path to get drugs across, and there is a lot of desert in Texas, New Mexico, Arizona, and California, in addition to the tunnels they routinely find in California and other locations. This is documented and has been previously reported!
My feeling is the Never Trumpers really don’t give a shit about the working folks, especially since it’s those that DO the work on the border and the USCG, which also is heavily into the anti-drug arena at sea. This as they pander to the loyal media about the ‘pain’ being suffered by the estimated 800,000 people put out of work by the president. To me it’s pretty telling when they drop the whole immigration argument and pivoted to out of work people in the middle of this.
When you add that to the fact (again those pesky facts), Pelosi, Schumer, et al have not only called for but VOTED for border walls when ‘their’ guy was in office, and even when Bush 43 was in office smacks of petty politics. And Hoyer (MD) got caught out last night in an interview and had to admit that walls to work, and they had voted for it in the past. To see him sputtering and trying to dodge the question was pathetically funny.
And watching the dems talking heads on the various shows has been educational, as they absolutely REFUSE to answer straight questions, instead falling back on talking points and becoming more and more strident when pressed to give a straight answer.
One thing many have forgotten is that any shutdown longer than 30 days, then departments can RIF non-essential personnel, which might be an interesting way to get rid of some of the deadwood/deep state/embedded bureaucracy in some of these departments!!! Article HERE on what must occur.
YMMV, IANAL, and I welcome comments and discussion. If you post a diatribe or talking points, I will delete those. I’m old, grumpy, and tired of the BS on both sides. Forewarned is forearmed…
Back in the day, we ‘occasionally’ got to do some fun flying against our ‘adversaries’…
Many times those flights originated from Kef. This is obviously nice weather, and you can see a couple of P-3s parked on the ramp. The town of Keflavik is in the background.
These were fun flights, we’d take pictures of them, they’d take pictures of us, we’d show them Playboys, they’d show us bottles of Vodka… The fun part was trying to figure out ‘which’ one of the Tupolev Tu-142 (Bear F) variants each one was (you had to get pretty close).
We’d be working hard to keep up with them as their cruise speed was 30 kts faster than ours, and their top speed was about 90 kts faster than we were. We’d play a while, and then they’d get pissed a pull away from us…
Spoilsports… sigh… 🙂
I’ve seen this crap before on a Navy ship…
The probe exposes how personal distrust led the officer of the deck, Lt. j.g. Sarah Coppock, to avoid communicating with the destroyer’s electronic nerve center — the combat information center, or CIC — while the Fitzgerald tried to cross a shipping superhighway.
This is so far beyond the pale as to be unbelievable! That ship channel is one of the busiest in the world, I think in the top five. It’s not as bad as Singapore, but close. They NEEDED every asset available for safe navigation through there. I’ve been through there in the daytime and was thanking my lucky stars I went aviation rather that SWO.
The RADM Fort report on the USS Fitzgerald incident is damning, make no bones about it. The entire chain of command, all the way up to C7F was complicit in driving the OPTEMPO/PERSTEMPO to and past the breaking point to meet ‘required’ evolutions. More specifically, CO/XO who were derelict in their duties (not supporting bridge/watch teams), lack of training, broken equipment, lack of qualified operators, etc. All in the ‘interests’ of getting that check in the block, rather than standing up and saying no, we need to stop and take a training stand down, or no, we are not able to conduct the mission due to equipment status.
Full article, HERE from Navy Times.
Now the incident I had was only a couple of years after the Holly Graf debacle, HERE. We were actually in a meeting with the admiral when the JAG came and got him to go relieve her. That was an interesting day…
This ‘catfight’ between the OOD and the CIC officer is sadly reminiscent of one that happened on another Navy ship in 7th Fleet when we were running testing out there. I had a female reserve LT (SWO) on this particular DDG during the ops, and we were using their CIC and helicopter to ‘prosecute’ the target. After multiple failures, I started directing the ship’s helo from my location and we got repeated hits on the target.
After the exercise, I met with the LT I’d put on the ship. As it turned out, that instance was a three way pissing contest between two female officers, one the OOD, another the CIC watch officer, and a female E-6 ASW specialist. According to the reserved LT, at one point there was literally a screaming match on the internal ASW circuit as the E-6 tried to get the ship to turn into the wind to launch the helo on our cueing, with the OOD refusing because she had ‘other’ things to do. Apparently when the CICWO got involved, it went even further downhill, the ship systems lost contact due to lack of maneuvering, and the helo was never launched.
The ‘reason’ according to what the reserve LT found out was that the CICWO’s E-6 female had been higher rated than the OOD’s E-6 female in the enlisted rankings. She said point blank she had outbriefed with the CO and told him what she’d seen/heard and the CO had shaken his head, saying it would be addressed. It apparently was, as the next trip out there, I met with the CO, and he remarked that the ‘situation’ had been resolved by transferring one of the female officers.
I’m not saying men don’t get in pissing contests, but they are usually resolved MUCH more quickly, at a lower level, when the CPO mess takes them out for a ‘quiet’ talk on the fantail and don’t involve hazarding the ship or jeopardizing mission success.. If they tried that with the female officers (and have), the women scream sexism or harassment and the CPOs get in trouble.