Tired of the BS in the news, so you get humor… 🙂
The following is not intended to offend fans of tennis, basketball, football, or baseball. It is, rather, an attempt to put everything in its proper perspective. Ever wonder why golf is growing in popularity and why people who don’t even play go to tournaments or watch it on TV? The following truisms may shed some light:
Golfers don’t have some of their players in jail every week.
Golfers don’t kick dirt on, or throw bottles at other people.
Professional golfers are paid in diret proportion to how well they play.
Golfers don’t hold out for more money, or demand new contracts, because of another player’s deal.
Professional golfers don’t demand that the taxpayers pay for the courses on which they play.
When golfers make a mistake, nobody is there to cover for them or back them.
The PGA raises more money for charity in one year than the NFL does in two years.
You can watch the best golfers in the world up close, at any tournament, including the majors, all day every day for $25-$35.
Even in the nose-bleed section, a ticket to the Super Bowl will cost you over $300—or $1000 from a scalper.
Golfers keep their clothes on while they are being interviewed.
Golf doesn’t have free agency. In their prime, Palmer, Norman, and other stars would shake your hand and say they were happy to meet you. In his prime, Jose Canseco wore T-shirts that read “Leave Me Alone”.
You can hear birds chirping on the golf course during a tournament.
At a golf tournament (unlike at taxpayer-funded sports stadia and arenas), you won’t hear a steady stream of four letter words and nasty name calling while you’re hoping that no one spills beer on you.
Golf courses don’t ruin the neighborhood.
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Here’s a little slice of golf history that you might enjoy. Why do golf courses have 18 holes, not 20 or 10 or an even dozen?
During discussion among the club’s membership board at St. Andrews in 1858, a senior member pointed out that it takes exactly 18 shots to polish off a fifth of Scotch. By limiting himself to only one shot of Scotch per hole, the Scot figured a round of golf was finished when the Scotch ran out!
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During his physical, the doctor asked the patient about his daily activity level. He described a typical day: “Well, yesterday afternoon, I waded along the edge of a lake, drank eight beers, escaped from wild dogs in the heavy brush, jumped away from an aggressive rattlesnake, marched up and down several rocky hills, stood in a patch of poison ivy, crawled out of quicksand, and took four leaks behind big trees.”
Inspired by the story, the doctor said, “You sound like one heck of an outdoors man!”
”Nah, he replied, I’m just a $#!++y golfer.”
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My boss phoned me today. He said, “Is everything okay at the office?”
I said, “It is all under control. It’s been a very busy day. I haven’t stopped to take a break all day.”
“Can you do me a favor?” he asked.
I said, “Of course, what is it?”
“Pick up the pace a little. I’m in the foursome behind you.”
Enjoy!!! Spring is just around the corner (and down the street, and…)
